I need some help here -
I've been divorced for 8 years. I have dated a bit, but not much. I just didn't really want that complication when my kids were young. I'm also very shy and it is very difficult for me to meet new people.
The problem is that now my kids are growing up and starting to move out. I have a lot more time on my hands than I'm used to having so I've started looking around. I'm clueless! I've met a few nice men but when I go out with them I am very nervous and shy. How do I get over this? In other areas of my life I am very self-confident but in this type of situation I feel like a little kid.
2006-12-27 06:14:58 · 10 answers · asked by geekteacher1 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It IS hard at first, but the more you do it, the more comfortable you will be. Think of things to talk about before you go out with someone, things that you are interested in or passionate about, because when you talk about things like that you will light up and forget the nervousness part. It helps if you can find someone interested in the same things so you have that common ground. Like meeting someone in a bookstore or at a jazz club, if that is what you are into.
You're not the only one, many people have been there. Self confidence is an attractive, sexy quality. If you work on that, you should be OK. Good luck!
2006-12-27 06:20:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
My advice to you is to just relax and enjoy meeting new people. You are going to want to make sure you can be friends with these men first. It's okay to be shy on a date, most people are. I would suggest that instead of a formal date, maybe something like a picnic or walk in the park. This will allow you to dress comfortable and give you time to talk. Good luck.
2006-12-27 06:21:48 · answer #2 · answered by cookie 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You are placing too much emphasis on the situation. Like anything else, practice makes perfect. Start by talking with men that you don't find attractive...about random things..nothing in particular. After you've mastered the arts of small talk with men, then you should have much less of an issue going to talk with a man you find attractive.
2006-12-27 06:17:46 · answer #3 · answered by jeepguy_2x 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I understand and I'm in a similar situation. It's difficult to find someone that I can relax with and be myself. It's necessary to keep one's 'guard up' and that makes it even more difficult. I don't really have any good advise to share other than to keep searching and don't settle for what you know you don't want. I have found that being introduced to available guys by close friends is not the route to take--b/c the guys always cover their flaws. I don't date coworkers for obvious reasons. It's a strange world out there, isn't it? Enjoy the solitude while you have it and hopefully the right guy will find us. Good Luck
2006-12-27 06:20:44 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
I can relate to your situation, I am a divorced single father with sole custody of my two daughters and they are in their teens and they keep trying to set me up with their friends divorced moms, and sometimes when we go the store, they mention to other women, hey my dad is single and we have to find him someone, well l do my shopping alone now and I know my daughters are tired of seeing me alone, but I have always devoted my time and effort in rasing my girls for the last 6 years alone. But soon I will wander back into the arena of life and see what happens. Good luck to you.
2006-12-27 06:23:26 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Other people feel awkward when they go out too. That's why God made beer on the eighth day. Try drinking a couple of beers and then hitting on every chick you see....but do this somewhere you'll never go again. Take notes..what worked/didn't work, hone your approach. By the time you do meet someone to talk to, you'll have an approach that works for you.
2006-12-27 06:18:09 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 3⤋
go out and mingle, enjoy yourself and have fun......You may be feeling this way because like you say, its been a long time for you but i think that once you get back out there and have fun then things will come natural....Maybe you are still holding on to something that you need to let go of, i dont know...but like i said, get out there and just have fun. go to the movies or something and enjoy yourself
2006-12-27 06:23:45 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
you have to take care of your self .you have to live your life , try to be calm and feel that the man you are with is equal to you he needs what you need do not feel shy with him . have a nice time .
2006-12-27 06:31:52 · answer #8 · answered by Ravioli man 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
want 2 meet a younger guy :) then if u feel like a little kid u wont feel bad :)
i will be waiting
2006-12-27 06:19:25 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
go out and have some fun ! meet new people !
2006-12-27 06:18:02 · answer #10 · answered by IT'S JUST ME ! 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋