My BF is starting to annoy mE!?

Question

I have been with him like 14 months...Today i saw him, and i told him lets go and eat at a restaurant, and guess what he didnt even split the bill, i had to pay the majority, and he even made me pay for dessert and didnt even eat it all!

Last week he did the same thing, i had to pay the bill and then he felt guilty AFTER the restaurant and offered to give me some money.

Its like he dont bother, he doesnt ever want to make me feel special, i feel like he just takes advantage of me.

im 20, im a student, even though my family is quite wealthy, he thinks that i am. Hes 25 and he works.

I even pick him up in my car, he doesnt drive his OWN car, hes drove it TWICE out of the whole time we have been together. He doesnt offer to pay for the petrol/gas in my car just because my family pays for it..

He doesnt even top up his phone and ring me often, i run up my phone bills!

I know he loves me but WHAT SHALL I DO!?

Answer 1

It sounds like this relationship might only be a physical thing, on his part. You obviously love him, and are making an effort, but he isn't. Maybe he is just immature, or maybe he is also selfish; just using you to get what he wants - financial, romantic or otherwise. You give, he takes.

Grasp the nettle and talk to him. It could be that he was brought up not knowing how to make a girl feel special (that's not justifying what he does, just explaining). He might not even be aware that he's being ignorant and selfish. Have a good, honest talk with him, and tell him in NO UNCERTAIN TERMS that you feel your relationship is rather one way, and you want him to put in a LOT more effort.

He may buck up his ideas, or he may say things you don't want to hear. At least then, they will then be out in the open, and you will know where you stand.

If the worst comes to the worst, you will then be free to date again, and find a man who treats you well. In any case, you deserve to be treated a lot better than he is doing right now; and there are also a lot of THESE types of men around.

You have attracted a relationship and kept it going for 14 months, so you know that you can do it again if you need.

Answer 2

Sounds to me like you're making his life easy for him, and I don't mean to sound harsh, but maybe he loves that rather than you? If he loved you he wouldn't treat you like that.

I think you need to tell him exactly what you've told us, and make him realise that the way he's treating you is totally unacceptable - the longer you let him use you in this way the harder it'll be to get him to stop, if its possible at all. You need to give him a choice of starting to pay his way and treat you with a little respect or leaving...

I notice that at the end of your question you said you know HE loves YOU, but you didn't mention if you feel like that about him. At the end of the day, do you really want to waste your time on someone who sounds like hes using you? You could do so much better than this jerk, there are much nicer guys out there.

Sarah x

Answer 3

Sounds like you are being used. I would straighten things out with him before he really pisses you off. Tell him how you feel and what you are expecting of him. Guys tipically can not read between the lines, it has to be black on white or they won't get the hint. If after that he doesn't change, then the best you can do is dump him and find somebody that cares about you.
Good luck

Answer 4

1) make sure that your car 'breaks down' and is out of action for at least a fortnight (even if it means you have to get buses /trains for that time)
2) Wait for him to suggest eating at a restaurant
3) get yourself a copy of 'Mars & Venus on a Date' by John Grey (the same guy who wrote 'Men are from Mars....' )and read it at least twice. It's time he started chsing you instead of the other way round . if he does not he is just after an easy life (via you) and you should dump him.
never forget that he might love you but he is certainly using you at the moment. there is no need for rows about it - just get the book.

Answer 5

Sounds like he doesnt know how to treat you and you need to tell him how you feel if you can honestly say you love him more than anything and will do anything for him (hes the one) then work things out together other wise move on to some one who will treat you they way you should be

Answer 6

Do you love this guy? It seems most of your problems with him revolve around money and material things. Are these the things that matter most to you?

Maybe you should try talking to him about this. He may not realise that you are so annoyed with him, and if he loves you as you state he does then he would probably be devestated to think that you have these feelings.

Think about what you really want out of a relationship

Answer 7

Dump him he's a loser. If you're feeling really mean do it on New Years Eve and make him feel as special as he makes you feel. You keep coming on here telling us about your boyf but then NOT LISTENING to any of the advice. What is the point of complaining and asking for advice and then carrying on anyway.

Answer 8

Sounds like your right to be annoyed. These are all signs that he shows you no empathy whatsoever, takes you forgranted, and feels no rush of excitement of being in the presence of a loved one.

Answer 9

I say you talk it out with him,an if that doesnt work,and he
carries this lazy behaviour on,ditch him,his just using you,
if you dont,the resentment will grow between both of you,
rather you sort it out,then falling out anyway.
Good Luck!

Answer 10

PLEEEEEASE DO NOT IGNORE THERE WARNING SIGNS . . . Things are NOT going to get any better . . . I think the guy is being plainly honest about what he feels . . and it ain't love, or like or any of those thing YOU'RE expecting/hoping for . . . cut your 'losses' and move on before it gets more complicated