how many of you guys are spankers?

Question

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AgHF0ExmaEh3vqlL4mi_s9mG1KIX?qid=20060730002250AAjFTjz

I read this young lady's question and every other friggen answer
was"spank her" or "give them a beating". wtf? I don't feel there is a single reason to spank one's kids anymore. I thought we were a little more modern as a country, but i guess I was wrong. So my question to you all is, do you have children? and if you do, have ever spanked/do you currently spank your kids, and do you feel that this way of parenting is effective.

I agree sporty. My point is that I was under the impression that we (americans) don't result to hitting our kids as much as we used to and im shocked to hear that
people still do that.

okay, "joey"?
I've never resulted to spanking; in my case,
time outs, and preventitive parenting like
making sure your child has constant
educational and fun activites to do and having a good communicative realtionship
nips the whole issue in the bud in the 1st place. I do NOT appreceiate your assumptions that my child would be the one lacking life skills; actually he is
extraodinarly bright for 4 and is already taking piano lessons (he's pretty good i must say) and is already in kindergarten and ive been told hes preforming at a 1st grade level. While no child is a complete angel, he is a very laid back, gentle, bright,
and caring little boy.

*sigh* "annemarie"? I hope you become steryil sometime soon, I dont understand
why people want to have kids if they're just going to end up hitting them. You're a complete mess, get over yourself. This was a question ment to provoke intelligent
banter back and forth. Take a Xanax.

Answer 1

in 9 years i have spanked my son maybe 4 times and that is when he was really bad. i.e. playing with knives and lighters. other then that timeouts and taking toys ayaw are my best weapons

Answer 2

I was spanked as a kid. I turned against it in college under the influence of liberal psychology and education professors. In fact from what they said I should be a neurotic mess (I was spanked in the most "dangerous" way--on my bare fanny).

Once I had my own kids I gradually decided that my parents were not so stupid and old fashioned as I had been led to believe. I am now kind of a nutty radical advocate of spanking. I know it sounds stupid and oversimplistic--but I really think that spanking is important.

And I think a lot of younger parents are spanking more. We are just sick and tired of all the spoiled brats and the Nanny 911, etc. nonsenses.

The idea that spanking is ineffective and harmful is a myth. It is something that grew out of the failed no-spanking social experiment starting in the 1950's.

I have actually spent quite a bit of time looking at the spanking research. All the studies finding "it will destroy your child and society" are at best inconclusive and at worst deeply flawed. Yet these are promoted as fact so much by the media and pop psychologists that it is now pretty much taken as fact. Even parents who spank often feel to the need to "only spank as a last resort."

There are actually very good studies that spanking is not only not harmful, but is the best way to get kids to comply with their parent's wishes.

You can see my review of the spanking research and literature athttp://blog.360.yahoo.com/blog-GgIFACYzfqWx8YwvtspSWVmWzA--?cq=1&p=793

Bet I don't get ten points with this answer:)

Answer 3

I believe some kids need to be spanked and some kids don't.
It all depends on the temperament of the child and how the child acts. If a person has a little brat for a kid and nothing seems to work to make the child behave, then spanking is the only way to get the child to behave. Some kids, all you have to do is time-out or talk to them. But that doesn't work with every child.
I wouldn't be to judgmental. Parents do what works. And usually a person disciplines there child how they were disciplined.
Some real bratty kids you see in stores or in restaurants need to be spanked and you can tell that there not. There out of control because mommy and daddy don't believe in spanking and the kid knows nothing bad is going to happen to them so they do what they want when they want to. That type of child, needs to be spanked.
So in my opinion, it all depends on the temperament of the child.

Answer 4

This is such a touchy issue! I swore that i would NEVER spank my childen....until i had one. Ive learned that it doesnt always work, but sometimes needs to be done, and sometimes it does work. Nothing is always 100% effective. Now that my daughter is 2 she understands things better and i can put her on a "break" in her room to cry out her tantrums, or tell her to straighten up or she will be put in her room and she will stop. Sometimes I have to take my own "break" because i feel so frusterated with her. This is why i think the discipline needs to go both ways in order to avoid over spanking or beatings. If we cant control ourselves as parents how can we expect our children to control themselves??

Answer 5

I have a beautiful 4 year old son that I could never even imagine spanking. How would that solve anything? Not only are you setting a horrible example by showing them that violence is the answer to your problems, but you are ruining their self-esteem. Just because children are learning and are new to this world does not give us adults an excuse to act like cavemen to them. All children are wildly intelligent and special. I mean, they learn most of our language, mathematics, history, etc in less than 6 years. Could you go to an entirely different country and learn everything about them in 6 years? Probably not, and you are an adult with many more resources available to you. Give your kids more respect than hitting them. That is the stupid, lazy person's way out. Children usually act up when you don't explain things to them. If someone grabbed my hand and threw me in a shopping cart with no explanation as to what the hell they were doing, I'd probably freak out too. Then to get spanked on top of it? I probably would also run in the street if I had no idea what a street was and why I wasn't able to be in the middle of it. HELLO? You have to tell them this stuff, that's YOUR job. Kids respond to positive reinforcement, explanations, and as a last resort, time outs if they are purposefully disobeying you. THAT'S IT, END OF STORY. Quit hitting your damn kids!

Answer 6

Some kids need a spanking for some of the things they do. I am a mother of 3, & I have spanked. I also use alot of other methods of punishment. My reasoning for spanking, is to show authority, and discpline. In other words, some kids you have to be spanked, because if not, they will end up spanking you. This is why you see women on talk shows crying about the child beating them up. At that point, you must whip some butt. I refuse, as a parent to allow my child to whip me, and me not whip him/her. I dont believe in abusing the child, but as a prent you will hve to result in a spanking every now and then. Everything you see on SUper Nanny does not always work for some parents!!!

Answer 7

Yes, I spank my kids. I have 3 - my oldest is 6, then 2 and then 1. I spank them BUT I make sure they know WHY I'm spanking them. I don't just swat out of anger. That is what parents make the mystake of doing. They swat out of anger, and that is what teaches kids that hitting other kids is ok if you are mad at them.
But, when you explain to them what they did was wrong, and why they are getting spanked, that is the proper way to teach them using the spanking method, WITHOUT teaching them to hit in anger.
This is very affective for me, when I do this, they don't cry, they just look at me and when I'm done spanking them, I talk to them and make sure everything is ok.
Some spanking is wrong, but I don't think it has anything to do with being 'modern' - the Bible says to 'use the rod' when disciplining our children. There is nothing not modern about it. If you ask me, some parents need to give their kids a good butt-whipping, (and by that I mean a good spanking) b/c most kids are spoiled, and have NO appreciation for what they have. They are just rotten.

Answer 8

Far too many, I'm sure. Hitting is hitting is hitting. The answers to her question were absolutely nauseating - especially considering she was talking about a baby! Hitting is not discipline. It is not teaching. There is absolutely no passage in the Bible that says "Spare the rod, spoil the child". The term was introduced in a Samuel Butler poem called "Hudibras" and was meant to be a scathing satire of Puritanism. Poor guy would be rolling in his grave if he knew nobody "got the joke". More on Hudibras here:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hudibras
Proverbs 13:24 says "Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him." Nowhere does it say hitting your child is, in fact, 'discipline'. People who don't read their Bibles believe this is so because rather than educating themselves on positive parenting skills they blame their god for their inadequacies as parents. I am not a Christian, but when I quote something I make sure of its author first.

There was never a reason to hit children. Those who say things were "better" when everyone hit their children are still hitting their children - and nothing has changed. For shame!

And yay, Supergirl!:-)

Answer 9

first, i don't agree with spanking a 15 month old who is holding her breath to get what she wants.
eventually, she will take a breath or pass out. it's a phase and should just be ignored.

however, i feel that there is a time and a place for spanking and too many people have this attitude that their kids can do no wrong and rarely punish them, so when they are grown up they feel that there should never be any repercussions to any of their actions.

here, i hit my little sister when i was little and i sat in a chair for 5 minutes, so now that i'm older i can beat up this kid at school and nothing is going to happen to me.

if that kid would have gotten spanked for what he did, then maybe he would have learned that you don't hit people.

i know, i know....so, spanking teaches kids not to hit??? doesn't make sense, but it works. i'm not talking about a royal thrashing, just a swat or 2 on the bottom teaches them that they need to listen and not do what they did again.

do you have kids??? if so, then your kids are probably the ones who are stuck on the highway with a flat tire and no idea what to do, or they are the ones who bully the other kids in school, or they are the ones who back talk you in public and you look at the other parents with that face that says.."gosh, i just don't know where juniot gets this from???" when in reality your kids walk all over you and you allow it b/c you don't have a clue how to discipline them and teach them how to be upstanding citizens in society.

spanking isn't always the answer, but sometimes it is and more people need to understand that.

take a look at the animal kingdom. we are not that far removed from animals, so don't get all high and mighty....a mother dog will nip at her pups to teach them respect for her or it's siblings. she doesn't hurt them, she just keeps them in line.

that's what spanking does. it's not intended to hurt the kid, just startle them and make them realize...."oh, i did something bad...i shouldn't do that again."
then, when they get older they will learn WHY not to do those things. it's a process of growing and learning.

take care and i hope your kids learn values and how to contribute to society instead of holding their hands out thinking that everything should just be supplied without any work or effort on their part.

EDIT:
that's great that your son responds to your form of discipline. however, please do not generalize your kid with all kids. every baby, child, parent, human is different and treats situations differently. you are lucky to have a great kid. some parents have natural born bullies. it happens and it wasn't until i experienced these kids for myself that i finally turned to the side of spanking for a purpose. i was, like you, completely turned off by the thought of spanking, however, i encountered some kids that had a "bully" temperament and the only form of punishment they repsonded to was spanking. thankfully, their parents broke out the occasional swat and their kids are well behaved little people.

it's whatever works for you and your kid. simple. no one can parent someone else's kid. as much as we may want to.

Answer 10

I understand why parents spank their children. I have spanked my daughter when she was out of control! (she's two in a half) But now I'm leaning more toward time-out seeing that it seems to work better while we're at home and I can explain to her the punishment rather than trying over her angry crying.

Answer 11

I will be a spanker not a beater
I know people aren't going to like my answer, but that's okay they are entitled to their opinion
You need to talk to you children first and mostly but there are situations that I believe call for a spanking
Communication is important.
I was spanked as a child and I have never been in trouble with the law, I have a great job, great marriage, and a great relationship with my family.
So yes I will spank.