Opinions please?

Question

Right well spent xmas with the family which was really great but there was just on thing that really annoyed me, your probably all goin to call me self-centered or whatever but the thing is there is so much favouritism between me & my older brother he received a load more presents than I did, more expensive ones too with money on top too. I know this sounds really pathetic but it just seems that he's worth more to my parents so they spend more on him.

Answer 1

This Christmas I got a 25 dollar gift card to walmart and my younger sister got an ipod nano and a bunch of toys and clothes. I think the reason that my mom did that is because Im ten years older than her, and Christmas is mostly about the children. But, in your case it's not because you are the older child. Maybe he needed more stuff. What kind of things were they? My brother used to always get expensive shoes for basketball. I got 20 dollar cheerleading shoes because my parents were obsessed with sports. Maybe he just needs more stuff. You should consider what it is that he got and why he wanted it. Also, I know it is hard not to recognize the difference. Don't listen to these people telling you you are shallow. It is true that there are starving children throughout the world, yes, but what you are saying is you feel less important because of how your Christmas went. This year I tried to just look at my sister and see how happy that Ipod made her. I know my parents are poor, and she puts a lot of pressure on them to buy her stuff, and Im glad I didn't add to their financial troubles. Christmas is about giving. Sorry you didn't recieve as much as your brother, but I'm sure your parents love you just the same. I've learned not to say anything because it will either start an arguement or hurt your parents feelings.

Answer 2

Ok, I can understand where you are coming from but here are a few things to consider.

1. Sometimes the value you perceive is not always the actual value. (i.e. sale items etc..)

2. Depending on your ages, your parents may feel that their older son will not be living at home much longer and perhaps they feel inclined to give him that little extra.

3. You could just have a bit of jealousy. Though you should remember that Christmas is about the giving and not the receiving.

4. Though not impossible, it seems unlikely that your parents would choose to favor one son over the other. Oftentimes, age, finances and several other factors may come into play when gift giving is concerned.

I know that I've sort of danced around your question, but I hope that at the very least you can try to see things from a different point of view.

Answer 3

My sister and I are mixed race. My brother is all white. For our entire lives the white side of the family made no secret of who the favorite was. I mean they would literally say he was the favorite. They never said why and I did not figure it out until I was an adult. My brother as it turns out is a total thug. He actively dismisses the white side that loves him so. This was really helpful in revealing the true motivations of my white family. My brother is their favorite even though he treats all of them like garbage. So it is plainly evident that it is not my brother's wonderful personality that so delights my family. That leaves only the obvious reason. My point in revealing the dysfunctional nature of my family is to illustrate the point that there are reasons why people pick favorites. The favoritism you think your parents show your brother may or may not be real. And if it is real it has less to do with you and more to do with them. If they are that immature forget about them. Your on your own in the end brother. Your greatness does not depend on the praise of others.

Answer 4

I can understand the sinking feeling you get when you look under the tree and see your brother's name on more presents than are on your own. It brings up old sibling rivalry issues. My advice is don't worry about it, especially if you think it won't bother you anymore in a week or two. Everyone's family gets annoying around the holidays (mine sure does). If this is still bothering you in a few weeks, I would suggest saying something to your parents. "I noticed that [insert brother's name] got a lot of nice things this year....nicer than mine in fact. Was there a specific reason for that?" Chances are they might not have noticed!

Answer 5

Don't worry. My family is the same way. Its how all family's are. My grandparents like my older brothers and sister more. And once told me that i was the reason that they are having a hard life. My mom likes my young brother more and gives him everything he wants. Even pays for his car. Ages are 39, 38, 37, me 32, 27. All I can say is don't look to much into it or you will start to hate them. Like I do. And that is not the way to live life. Family get togethers are always a mess now. Good luck.

Answer 6

My parents do that with all my siblings. You can either feel sorry for yourself and wonder why, or you can just accept it as the way things are. We can't control what our parents do. I confronted my parents one year and they called me selfish. Of course, the gifts I got were something my sister would use so I had a right to confront them. I wouldn't let this get to you. When you move out and become finacially established then they will start treating you better. I'm sorry you are going through this, but don't allow it to make you bitter. Thank you and GOD bless.

Answer 7

Darn, i have no idea how it feels to be in your situation. I was looked at as the "baby of the family". The "good one".
My sister hated it and i feel so bad that she didn't get the attention that i did as a child. It made her be jealous of me, hate me, tease me, etc. However she is 12 yrs older than me and i have to say even though she felt these ways she never abused me. She alwasys kept me warm, feed, and clothed lol. After our mom passed away this is when i found these things out.My mom left me the house when she died and she (my sister) was furious that she didn't leave it to the both of us. Anyway, She was very mad with me and what i did was put myself in her shoes Really! I had to imagine how i would feel if she was me and i was her. Man it made me so sad, hurt.
Now, she is my best friend. I love her so much and have apologized to her for how she was treated as a child around me. It is not my fault but it makes me mad that my sister was treated like that. (Mad at my parents)
I do everything in my power to make sure she is happy.
My goal now is to finish getting a degree in psycology, I want to be able to take care of her to the fullest. She had such a hard childhood/teenage yrs that she deserve more than she has now. I plan to suprise her with a gift certificate $400 Jan 07. I just sent her $300 in dec 06. I love her so much and i'm very sorry how she was treated worse than me like she was less than me. Ack i hate to think that my sister was treat like that.

My advice to you is be strong mentally and know that your brother is not better than you. I'm sorry you are going through this. Don't expect for anyone to give you anything. You are your own person so ..."do you". Love and respect your parents just do what you need to get what you want in life. Don't feel sorry for yourself sweety OK. Life is what you make it.
Good Luck.

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Answer 8

Sounds like my childhood. My brother got a car and $1000 cash for his 16th birthday, a year later on mine, I got a baseball glove. Same crap at Christmas, he gets a computer, I get a calculator. I don't think you're self-centered, just a bit upset

Answer 9

I think you should go right to the source and talk to your parents. Love isn't always measured by money. Perhaps they feel you are the mature, well adjusted child that already knows that money doesn't equal love. They feel they don't need to prove to you how much they love you with gifts, for you are beyond that stage in life.

Happy new year.

Answer 10

I don't know why but parents tend to spend more on the older one... My parents did it, and they told me they did because he was older than me, and when I get to be his age I would get those nice expensive presents too...:)