i met my brothers friend a while back and we started seeing each other. he'd been dumped shortly before his wedding but i never thought he might still want her. im not sure- i found tons of her pictures still in a drawer, he doesnt seem overly keen on sex, we live apart and he pays for us to fly up and down the country every two wks, he goes out on the town alot, i was warned he was flirty with most women, his parents think im great, he'd already booked a holiday to see his friend abroad over xmas and new year and invited me to go but i didnt want him to spend the money on me. now he's in australia for xmas partying everynight.he calls me for a few minutes each night but seems a little distant...im so fed up as i tell him i miss him and he never reciprocates. i had a terrible xmas and i thought he might text me more often to see if im okay... i have a bad feeling that hes unsure of us and this distance is confirming it.he says he loves me but how can i be sure? i feel sick with worry.
2006-12-27 04:58:34 · 9 answers · asked by moonbeam_poppy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
hey...if you have any doubts about the relationship..any worries...ask him upfront...that's it...
my bf and I always do that when we are upset with something or with each other...we just speak and try to understand each other or come to a compromise...and seriously it has worked out well despite the fact we are both hot-tempered and can grit teeth at each other sometimes and lose our cool easily but we calm down just as fast and able to apologise to each other...
stop worrying and just TALK to him...i know easier said than done...but when you talk about your feelings honestly and how his actions is upsetting you...chances are he might respect you more for being able to know that there is a problem and you came to him to talk about it to settle it cos you care for him and the relationship...many guys do like girls who can speak upfront about themselves...i did a personal survey you see...
He was dumped by his ex-fiancee and you see that is a HUGE thing if he has been with her for a long time...getting over someone doesnt happen just like that...udrstd it takes time even if he is with you cos it happened to ME as well...
my bf was dumped by his ex of 6 years and he gave his all in e relationship...my bf is a tad too romantic...and he was CRUSHED...when we were still friends, e way he talked of her showed how much he really loved her...she was his first love..even when in a relationship with me, sometimes e way he acted like saying sorry too often even if I made e mistake, asking me who I was with and stuff...I suspected this was due to insecurity from his ex...how she had been with him..she was hoity-toity with an uppity attitude...you get e idea...so I just told him how I felt what I noticed and stuff and told him I can udrstd if sometimes he still thinks of her...a rship of 6 years...woah...if it were me...I would take time to get over it too...he might like me but to FORGET his ex takes time...so I said I udrstd if he did so...it was only natural...I would help him just by being there to talk abt anything he wants...bt at e same time I made sure he knew that I would expect him to forget about her sooner or later...abt him being posessive and clingy at first...I made sure I told him that my friends and family are imp too...e world didnt just revolve arnd him...I have to make tym for everyone and whenever I went out...I let him know what I would be doing and where I would go...that's it...I let him know my expectations and standards...I slowly earned his trust in that way and when he felt lyk he could trust me...he started loosening up and I saw a side of him which wasnt so depressed and uptight anymore....cos I also gave him his own space and when he was too clingy...I told him learn how to deal with being on his own and not with me everytime cos he could lose me and it is just not rite...he doesnt own me yet til we are married...basically in a relationship, do not lose your sense of self...most imp...and then try to make tym for all e ppl that you love and honesty is v imp...expect it fm ur partner and yourself as well...communicate with each other...be accomodating, understanding, open-minded and fair...tell each other your own expectations as well....in short treat yourself and each other with respect...if you are wrong, realise it and apologise but when you are not say so...
i guess my boyfriend changed a lot and has forgotten his ex cos I let him develop at his own time, gave him his space, was honest with him and myself as well and most important I told him to treat himself with respect as well and not to bring himself down and apologise when it is my fault..
dun meant to sound preachy...just wanted to share my experience...anyway just talk to him and tell him how you feel and if there is anything that is bothering him cos he is acting distant and if you could help...tell him you will be there for him...also be honest abt your own feelings and say you have been hurt and you would like it if he was more loving and attentive...communication is a 2 way thing...about u and him...anyway hope all goes well yeah...sorry for e long msg...take care...happy new year in advance :)
2006-12-27 05:58:42 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to say it, but he sounds like he is interested in a more casual relationship. He is probably shying away from sex because he knows that this will mean a commitment, or that a commitment will eventually be expected, and he doesn't want that. With having been dumped recently, he isn't in a place for a serious relationship. He is out having fun and blowing off steam from his previous relationship disappointment. He isn't ready. He is telling you this in many ways. Protect yourself and listen to these messages, so you don't get hurt more. Sadly, when he is ready, he will probably go looking someplace else. If you have any chance at all, stop chasing him. If you appear desperate or needy, it will only drive him further away. I've been there and I know it's hard... Hang in there and take care of yourself!
2006-12-27 05:11:12 · answer #2 · answered by Sharpie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This may not be the case but here's my story:
I had a boyfriend we were together 9 months(the day b4 thanksgiving made 9 months). I had to go to my mom's(12 hours away) for the week of thanksgiving and he went to a church trip the beginning half of the week of thanksgiving and never really called me and I finally got fed up n didn't call anymore n waited on him to call me. When he did call it was only for a few minutes. The saturday after thanksgiving he broke up w/me and when I called his best friend to see if he knew y he'd broke up w/me I was told he was talkin to another girl and when I confronted him a/b her he denied her well the next day i jus said "did she know a/b me?" n he said "yeah" so that was it(i'd already given back his stuff anyway).
Conclusion: He may have found someone else while there(I hope to God not but it could be). What I would suggest is don't wait around for him girl. Go out with your friends, have fun. Be a girl! That's what I would do if I could have relived the week of thanksgiving. I hope things go well for you.
2006-12-27 05:06:11 · answer #3 · answered by princessdez122008 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The question isn't whether he loves you - he probably does, on some level, but whom does he love the most: you, his ex - or himself.
Perhaps it would be good for you to use this time whilst he's away to re-assess your relationship, and establish your own reasons to stay with your boyfriend.
And if you then decide that the whole thing doesn't feel right for you, that's probably because it isn't, never was & never will be.
Happy 2007 (and I don't see any reason why it shouldn't be!:)!
2006-12-27 05:09:36 · answer #4 · answered by Klara B. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
considering an extremely long term in the past, people have hunted for the meaning of affection. yet even the tremendous philosophers, with their profound definitions, ought to no longer completely touch its authentic essence. In a survey of four-8 12 months olds, teenagers share their perspectives on love.
2016-10-19 01:05:58 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, try not to worry. if he does love you, he would never cheat on you. you can ask how and what he's been doing, when you talk to him on the phone. he's probably not doing that much, just hanging with his friend. if you wanted him, you should of gone with him. i can sense you don't trust him. i don't blame you, most men are just after a bite of skirt.
2006-12-27 05:06:31 · answer #6 · answered by rjhamuk 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LOVE... is a very strong word....and most men does not know how much it means to us... they dont feel that strongly about "love" as we do.If you dont go with him on trips then you will have to learn to live with the worry or go on with your life. no man is worth the worry. you will just grow old faster. Face him or move on.... Good luck.
2006-12-27 05:05:49 · answer #7 · answered by =) 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think he does, he seems too distant to care any longer.. not physical, emotional distance.
2006-12-27 05:13:01 · answer #8 · answered by Sarab s 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tbh i would say he either dosnt love you or is takin you for granted somewhat and jus dosnt realise what he would miss out on by losing you
2006-12-27 05:02:14 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋