I'm seeing a guy, we're very close. He has two kids to two different women but they're living with their mother's in the states. This guy has never told me he loves me, but he told me the other night that he wants me to have his baby. Which I was shocked to hear, but pleasantly surprised. (Hes not the only man to ask me this). He wants a kid in the next two yrs, but I wanna wait until I finish my studies which will mean he's gonna be 43. I'm curious if he's just using me to have a baby wit him cuz he getting on or if he loves me and really wants ME to be the mother of his kid. PLEASE HELP.......thanks in advance. xx
2006-12-27 04:56:18 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He told me a while back that if he has another baby, he'll marry that woman, cuz it ain't fair on the child
2006-12-27 05:09:20 · update #1
I don't believe at this time you want or need the complications of a kid interferring with your studies. If he had 2 kids with 2 different women and neither live with him, isn't something wrong with that picture? If he didn't marry #1 or #2, would he eventually marry you?
I do know that sometimes there's more to a situation than meets the eye and this guy may actually be the wronged one but one has to be careful - you can't live to make all the mistakes on your, learn from other ppl's mistakes sometime.
A way to find out how family oriented he is, is to find out what sort of history or contact he has with is previous kids.
2006-12-27 05:06:40 · answer #1 · answered by stacy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So let me get this straight. This guy has never said he loves you, he has two different kids by two different women and wants you to have his next kid even though by all indications he won't lift a finger to take care of it and won't be around. And instead of running away from this loser, you stand there wondering, "Hmmm... does he love me?" LOL
What does he want a kid for? to raise it, to take care of it, to pay for it's schooling and food and clothing, etc.? Or does he just want to knock you up and have the kid as a trophy and proof that his sperm works?
My guess: you'll be back here in two years asking people "Why can't I meet a nice man?"
You are the reason nice guys are sitting alone at the end of the bar while women clammor over scum like this. And then 10 years later, after all the fun is over, they come moving down toward the nice guy's end of the bar.
2006-12-27 05:01:45 · answer #2 · answered by bodinibold 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
RUN! He has two children by two different women. Been there done that married the man ended up miserable taking care of his kids. He wants you to have a baby so that you will have something with him to keep you around. It's a control thing. You also should never have a child with someone unless you have a commitment (marriage). Take my advice and Run.
2006-12-27 05:02:23 · answer #3 · answered by Venus 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
how long have you been going out? my ex loves to make babies and it doesn't matter if there is love involved. I would say he is using you to make a baby. he hasn't even said he loved you yet. one thing us woman don't look at and we really should is his past history. he already has two children from two different ladies. What does this say about him? do you know that kind of relationship he has with these woman? Does he get along with them? Does he pay his child support? Does he visit these kids?
Take a step back and don't get knocked up. You will regret it.
2006-12-27 05:20:42 · answer #4 · answered by tonaloha 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has 2 children by 2 different women????
Does that not put up a red flag for you?
Is he paying child support for his children?
If you want to have his baby, be ready to take care of this child on your own. But make sure in advance that he signs a legal document that states he is the father and will pay child support and take care of all of the child's needs.
2006-12-27 05:02:17 · answer #5 · answered by Samantha1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, I dated a guy like this. I didn't know more than one existed, lol. Well, since he is acting exactly the way the guy I dated acted I will tell you what I think. I think this guy just wants to have a baby for some reason. He does not want the commitment of a wife, but he wants to spread the seed. I refused to have a baby at this point in my life (I was 23 at the time and in school) and so he found another girl that was ready to have a baby, got her pregnant, but still tries to talk to me.
Look at this guy's history and the fact that he has never told you he loves you. I wouldn't trust him.
PS: you have to take guys' words at face value. He said he wanted you to have his baby....that's exactly what he means. It does not translate into love or devotion.
2006-12-27 05:01:32 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nikita,
It sounds like this man enjoys the idea of fathering children, but where is his parenting??? Although you may be flattered by his sentiment, it seems that he enjoys "spreading his seed". I know a few "gentlemen" that enjoy having children by multiple mothers.
What other values does he hold true? I am sure you do not wish to be left a single-mother while he goes off populating continents!
Seems that he would be better suited for friendship, and leave your potential children to a man that wants more than just a baby.
It is very easy MAKING a baby, it is not easy RAISING one.
Happy New Year!!
2006-12-27 05:00:56 · answer #7 · answered by Bathroom Graffiti 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't sound like he's fully Committed to the Responsibilities of having a child. This requires active participation from both parents, it takes two people to create and child and two to raise one right. Judgeing from his past relationships he doesn't care if he gets you pregenant because he'll eventually be off to the next woman telling her the same thing..your being used
2006-12-27 05:07:24 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whatever you decide to do please make sure that it is because it is what you want. Even if you decide to have his child...he may decide to leave.
I don't know how long you have been seeing this guy but keep in mind the type of relationship that he has with his current children and their mothers.
If your relationship does not work out this may be your only way of knowing what raising a child with him will be like.
Hope this helps.
2006-12-27 05:01:42 · answer #9 · answered by aQTinMVny 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your education is more important right now and he really loved you he would have number 1 told you by now and number 2 he would wait and also what is more important is if he is financially stable to take on the responsibility of raising a child and if he decides to beat it are you able to take care of the baby alone.......think about it
2006-12-27 05:11:27 · answer #10 · answered by Vick'e 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋