To give you some history... I have one daughter (4 year old ) and my husband and I have been trying to have more kids but are experiencing issues. Anyhow, my best friend had been married 9 years before they had twin boys a few months back. I've been getting a lot of crap from my husband's side of the family about having more kids to the point where I've been asked by my mother-in-law if I have a problem..anyways..I shared my concerns with my best friend thinking that since she's gone thru this for 9 years, she'd understand..I was at her 30th bday party and she and her husband made a really nasty comment "well, atleast we have two kids and they are both boys..you only have one and it's a girl". Joke or no joke but she knows how hurtful these kind of comments have made me in the past and she shouldn't hav edone that. it's been 5 days and I've been ignoring her calls and haven't returned her message...should I call her and give her a piece of my mind or should I give her a cold shoulder?q
2006-12-27 04:53:32 · 17 answers · asked by Luv Peace 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Okay here goes you call her up and tell her exactly how her comment made you feel~ It's about communication sweetie!If you don't say what you feel your friendship will or might end~And to your husbands family, let me tell you something it's your body and no one has a right to tell you when you should get pregnant~Talk to your husband besides your daughter is really young still, so don't worry.
2006-12-27 05:13:17 · answer #1 · answered by YO~NO~FUI E 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should sit down with your husband and discuss the issues at hand about having more kids. Does he want more and right away? If this is something the two of you want then understand and realize that the more pressure from others, then it won't likely happen because of stress to have them. You need to tell mother in law that its nothing wrong with you and when your body is ready to produce more then it will happen, it may not be the time for you to have more children. I think you should voice your concerns to best friend about the comment made and then just be careful what you tell her from now on, because if she really is a friend she wouldn't throw or allow her husband to throw the issue back in your face.
2006-12-27 13:03:02 · answer #2 · answered by inquisitor1125 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I suspect that your friend already knows that what she said hurt your feelings. I think we've all said something that we knew pushed someone's buttons from time to time and regretted it. Perhaps she is trying to call to apologize. Either way, your being angry at her won't help anyone. I suspect that you call her, not to give her a piece of your mind, but simply to let her know that her comment hurt you. And if necessary, you can ask her forgiveness for the feelings you've been having about her. Don't let one little comment get in the way of a wonderful friendship.
2006-12-27 14:01:18 · answer #3 · answered by drshorty 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Deal with the "friend": tell her how the comment made you feel. Depending on what she says/does after that, you may still have a friend, or it's time to move past this "friend".
Deal with the underlying issue: get your OB/GYN to refer you to a fertility doctor, and your husband to a urologist to check sperm levels and quality.
Tell your mother in-law that her son's sperm is getting checked - that would shift the focus of the conversation.
Most important of all - be kind to yourself, and your daughter.
Good luck!
2006-12-27 14:43:20 · answer #4 · answered by Silvana 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Take her call and let her know exactly how out of line they were. If they apologize, forgive them. If they are unapologetic then cut them out of your life.
As an afterthought, carefully go over what you said to them. Think if there is anything that you said that could have lead them to make a comment like that. If you feel that you might have said something, in the wrong, talk it over with your friends.
2006-12-27 14:57:51 · answer #5 · answered by Think.for.your.self 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Give her a piece of your mind. It's not your fault that you don't have another child. And it's not like your not trying. Plus, what difference does it make whether or not you have more than 1 child? Oh! and her children aren't better simply because their boys. You need to put her back in her place.
2006-12-28 12:07:53 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if she really is your best friend then a cold shoulder will not help as two wrongs dont make a right. best thing call her up and tell her what you think and feel and also tell her that as your friend you expect her to love and support you not be the source of hurtful comments. we all make mistakes
2006-12-27 13:43:09 · answer #7 · answered by shiro 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should calmly tell her that her comment hurt your feelings. Sometimes people don't think before they speak. Maybe she didn't even realize what she said and that how it possible hurt your feelings. If you get upset and give her a piece of your mind you might be losing a good friend. Good Luck
2006-12-27 12:57:34 · answer #8 · answered by erindrozda 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Your "friend" was rude. Do not sink to her level.
A cold shoulder is what she might need. If she does ask why, tell her that she hurt your feelings very badly about the situation.
You may also want to check for a fertility clinic if possible.
2006-12-27 12:58:56 · answer #9 · answered by grumpyfiend 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Neither. You should forgive her and next time you see her just mention that since she'll probably never have a little girl and you might not have a boy, that the two of you can just spoil each other's children.
Don't get bitter. It only hurts yourself.
2006-12-27 12:58:33 · answer #10 · answered by Jeancommunicates 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋