How should a parents deal with a punishment if the kid shows he/she is eager to change his/her behavior?

Question

In such cases, should we make the punishment lighter, or even cut it off? I think so, because if your kids show he/she learned his/her lesson there's no reason to keep with a punishmentt

Answer 1

i agree the point is for the child to learn that what they did was wrong, and if they have learned this lesson then why continue with the punishment you have to pick your battles

Answer 2

One of the main things we want to teach children is "responsiblity." In other words, they need to learn that there is a consequence to every action and behavior that they do. (Same is case for adults as well. You consistently don't show up to work, you will likely loose the job). A fabulous teacher for kids is to allow them to learn by the natural consequences of their behavior. For example, a teen child doesn't like to bathe, they learn that friends will notice their body oder.

A way to help children learn responsiblity is to allow them some voice in determining the consequences. If you have a family curfew of 12:00 midnight, sit down with the child and have them help design the consequences of breaking the curfew. For example, they could say that they should not be allowed out with friends again for a week.

Then, when and if the curfew is broken, they receive the consequence that they helped design. If removes you as parents from being the bad guy who sets punishments or restrictions. You as a parent would simply impose the consequence that the child help establish. Again, the idea is that the child would be learning from their own choices and they are taking ownership of their own problems.

Answer 3

If there is true repentance, then of course the punishment should be ended.

Ours always was, so long as mom and dad new we were sincere. Although, there were some things that couldnt be stopped. Like when I was caught in a different state at 16 visiting my boyfriend. I was never allowed to see him again. Ever. That couldnt be undone.

Answer 4

Eagerness from a child caught in the act of bad behavior may just be a way to get out of punishment. Be firm. Remind the child ofyour behavior guidelines, and praise the for the good things they do also. Remember to be firm. Good luck.

Answer 5

Perhaps, but if the child sees that they can talk their way out of punishment & their actions don't have true consequences - they may be learing a bad lesson overall.

If they did something wrong, give appropriate punishment. If they've learned their lesson - you won't have to worry about it again.

Answer 6

I disagree, regardless of whether you feel sympathetic the damage is still done and a punishment should still be kept. If they are truly learning to change they will do better the next time, but regardless they still need to pay the price.

Even if a criminal feels bad about their crime, they still go to jail.

Answer 7

Kids are always going to push your "go off" buttons, there will be other times for punishments, for the ones they improve on, comment let them know that you are proud of them, but let them know that even though you are lightening up you are keeping your eye on them for next time.

Answer 8

AHHH....................... the stupidity of a parent! Ever heard of a child lying? Of course not! Kids don't lie:) You still need to punish him, if you let him off completely, he will have learned nothing except how to lie to get out of trouble!

Answer 9

No, because it may be that they've just learned to play the game. I remember snickering with my girlfriends at school after 'weeping' my way out of a whipping.