My son is autistic, how can I help him?

Question

My son who is now 3 has had seizures since he was born along with a 50% hearing loss (which has been taken care of). The seizures are now under control but he isn't advancing like he should be (we thought that was the problem with his learning). I noticed that he has fits that he can't seem to stop and he doesn't talk well and he gets very upset if his things are messed up (toys must be in a straight line) he counts everything, he plays quietly even during a party, doesn't interact with others, repeats movements and any change in routine upsets him. I have taken him in and had testing done he has seen doctors and psychologists and been observed and i want to know what I can do to help him. I have put him in daycare one day a week to play with other children (it was suggested to me). People see him and think he is younger than he is because of how he acts and when they find out he is 3 they look suprised. What can I do to help him?

Answer 1

Well, because he's three, he qualifies under IDEA to receive school and therapy from your local public school. I would contact them, because this is an important time in your son's life, where the smallest advancements learned will greatly affect his future. Each school has a different program, but they would evaluate him, and you along with they would consider what the best situation would be for him. My daughter went to school five days a week for three hours a day, and received speech therapy, occupational therapy, and behavioral therapy. It was a great help when she was ages three to six, and she made great strides.

In addition, you might consider having an ABA therapist come to your house several hours a week, to set up a home program. When my children knew that they could depend on me for consistency in life and in their days, they learned to tolerate changes much better. As well, with a home program, you are teaching them and having a consistent expectation for them, which helps them learn much more quickly.

Also, some seizure medications can slow learning, and it may be that they are doing that to him as well. In that case, it's either change the meds, or hope that as he grows older he outgrows the seizures. That happened to my little sister, and once she was off the meds her learning sped up very quickly.

I wish you the best of luck, I know it's a lot of work. If you have any questions, you could email me, or contact your local autism society (www.autism-society.org) they will know local resources and therapists that will benefit you.

Answer 2

Mellissa had some great things to say!

The only thing I would say is watch his diet. Some children diagnosed autistic have been helped by removing milk products or red dye from their diet. Maybe try it and see if you see a difference.

Also, be consistant and have a solid schedule. My autistic cousin and nephew do way better if there is a solid schedule where they get up at the same time and their days progress in a certain order. My cousin (the mom) has even taken to having dinner days where Monday is Mexican, Friday is Pizza, etc to get him to eat certain things he doesn't like and remain firm because he can have pizza tomorrow. And he knows tomorrow is a real thing because it is on a calendar.

When you talk to him work to get him to look at you. Get down on his level. Speak clearly and slowly. Don't use more words than you need to at first. Coming back from a hearing loss he may need to build his vocabulary and if you use too many words he may tune you out. If you ask him if he wants a drink dont say "Do you want a drink? How about juice? lets get your cup. Apple or Orange?" Just show him the juice or his cup and say do you want a drink and emphasize drink.

Also consider that things may be too loud for him since the hearing issue was corrected. My son was 28 months when he had his tonsils and adnoids out and the doctor told us he had never seen a child with adnoids that inflamed without severe hearing loss, but he had tested normal. After the surgery certain sounds were almost unbearable. Sometimes he would act out, sometimes he would shut down, sometimes he would startle. We found sometimes ear plugs helped out at restaurants or theme parks. But for my nephew it was the vacuum. It drove him crazy. So maybe see if this could be a little of the problem.

Otherwise have him diagnosed and listen to the professionals. Look for a support group, either near your home or online.

Good luck.

Answer 3

At age 3, the signs of autism will begin to be noticeable. However, you should be encouraged that autism often fades over time, and your son will steadily improve even if at a slower rate than other kids.

The basic limitation of autism is the ability to communicate with others. Here are some suggestions:

1. First, encourage him to communicate. Spend lots of time with him and ask lots of questions. If he does not answer clearly, then answer for him. For example, "do you want to play with toy A or B?" If there is no clear answer, say "toy A?" and hand it to him. Then try "toy B?" If he does answer, repeat his answer back to him clearly. The purpose of this is to give him feedback to his communication. This will stimulate his mental development and make reduce the frustration that leads to fits.

2. When feeding, try offering a variety of foods. Autistic children often have very limited eating habits. Offering a variety of foods can help.

3. Interacting with other children is excellent advice. He may be comfortable with children younger than him, but you need to watch him carefully for fits. Sometimes, autistic kids get very upset at loud noises like hearing other kids cry.

4. Give him lots of exercise. Play running and chasing games. Try getting him to laugh. This again improves communication and also can help with the repetative motions that occur when he is trying to relax.

5. Talk to him a lot. Although he appears not to understand as much as other children, he really does. You will be very surprised by what he is learning as he gets older.

6. Get him into a special education class or day care. This can be very helpful, and you will notice a difference after a few months.

Answer 4

There are a lot of good suggestions here, but I have a few more for you. Has he been diagnosed as Autistic or do you just see signs? I have extensive experience with children with special needs. Another thing to consider is sensory integration issues. This could cause him to behave in some of the same ways. Some things that help children with either sensory integration problems or Autism(which usually has sensory integration components) include some kind of stimulation (rocking, spinning, any repetitive motion) before trying to get them to do something, PECS for helping with communication, therapy, routines, and The Wilbarger Deep Pressure and Proprioceptive Technique (DPPT). I highly recommend learning about and trying this technique. It involves using a special brush to brush his skin several time a day for a few weeks. In addition you do joint compressions. This is a very specific technique which needs to be done properly in order for it to work. The benefits of it include the improved ability to transition between activities (calming after emotional outburst, improving tolerance levels), helps children who have a fear of discomfort in being touched, increases self regulation and self calming, increases the ability of the nervous system to use information from the senses more effectively, i.e. speech/motor skills, improves attention and focus. I can't stress enough how wonderful this is if done correctly.

Answer 5

I know just what you mean, my mother has a autistic 2 year old girl in her daycare. She has a few teachers come out on Fridays (the cost is taken care of by the county). The teachers work on things like how to play with toys properly and finding sertain animals or objects in books. It really helps the child to think and play with someone besides themself. If you are unable to have someone work with you little boy, I would spend as much time as i could playing with him and showing him what things are through pictures and such. Another thing is music, autistic children are always tend to love music, teach him some fun songs with hand motions, he would really like it. Now for the seizures and hearing I would love to help you with but I don't know much about it. I would just be there for your son and play with him as much as you can, autistic chlidren need loveing attention.

Answer 6

There have been lots of good suggestions made. It's true that there are a lot of "therapies" and "programs" out there for children with autism. However, there are also a lot of scams, and programs that, while well-intentioned, are not supported by research. Before paying for or starting any program or therapy, please request, from the provider, published, independent research on the effectiveness of the method. A good book that discusses research-based methods (and which methods are NOT research based) is "Students with Autism: Characteristics and Instruction Programming" by Jack Scott, Claudia Clark, and Michael Brady.

Another thing that you may want to do is to keep track of the situations in which his "fits" occur. You can make a chart of what happens right before a fit occurs, and what happens right after. You can then look for patterns. This is called a Functional Behavioral Analysis (FBA). An example might be, does he get lots of attention or access to favorite toys when a tantrum happens? This may be a way for him to let you know he needs something. If you think that this may be the case, based on your charts, you can teach him a simple way to request those things, whether it be a sign for "mom," or handing you a picture of a toy he wants, pointing to an object, saying "toy," etc. Once he has learned this (you may need to physically guide him to hand you the picture or make the sign until he understands the connection between doing that and getting what he wants), only give him the item when he gives you the picture or sign. At first, you will need to honor his request everytime that he asks appropriately, you can then gradually make him wait for longer periods of time. Make the appropriate behavior a way to obtain what he was previously getting after a tantrum. To learn more about this method, try searching online or looking for books about Behavior Analysis, or Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA).

As someone else mentioned, your son is most likely elligle for special education preschool services from your local school district. This is something that you may want to contact them about.

Here are some other resources that I hope may help you. Best of luck!

Websites:

"Ten Things Every Child with Autism Wishes You Knew" by Ellen Notbohm - http://www.southflorida.com/sfparenting/sfe-sfp-autism,0,6196233.story

Website of Paula Kluth, Ph.D. - http://www.paulakluth.com/autism.html

Positively Autism (free online magazine, includes free lessons/activities) - http://www.positivelyautism.com

Teaching Tips for Children and Adults with Autism by Temple Grandin, Ph.D. - http://www.autism.org/temple/tips.html


Books:

"Your Life is Not a Label: A Guide to Living Fully with Autism and Asperger's Syndrome" by Jerry Newport

"You're Going to Love This Kid!: Teaching Students With Autism in the Inclusive Classroom" By Paula Kluth

"Not Even Wrong: Adventures in Autism" By Paul Collins

Any book by Temple Grandin

Answer 7

One of my friends son is autistic. The key is to get him into therapy play groups. Your state should have some sort of program for autstic children or developmenatally delayed children. To control his fits or at least soften his temper, my friends use vitamins called Supernuthera vitamins, they are high in B and they calm him down a lot. Their pediatrician told them to try that first before she put him on Riddilin. I don't think that they ever did put him on riddilin because the vitamins worked. http://www.kirkmanlabs.com/products/multivitamins/super_nuthera/s_nuthera210.html
They also have liquid for too with flavors. I would suggest talking with his pediatrician first to make sure that this would be okay for him and make sure that they aren't pro riddilin or anti-natural, some docs are and I don't know why. My friend's would mix his vitamins with juice concentrate to get him to take them. It is also important that he play and interact with other children for his development. Whenever thier son would throw a fit they would hold him, and if he did something bad they would take him aside and look at him and tell him this is my angry face, to let him know his actions were not appropriate. ihope this helps a little.

Answer 8

I am a foster parent we have had children with autism the key to helping him is patience. Autistic people have to follow routine. If you have never seen it watch the movie rain man it was out int he 80's Dustin Hoffman plays and autistic man and Tom Cruise plays his brother who now has to take care of his autistic adult brother.
I hope these links helps you, they have helped me,
http://www.healing-arts.org/children/educational.htm#motivate
http://www.pediatricneurology.com/autism.htm
http://www.emedicine.com/rc/rc/pfeatured/i43/autism.htm