: My brother and I are both in our late 20s. My bro has been with his g/f for over 3yrs and since they started dating, she has been included in most of our family activities. My mom has even changed dates of celebrations to include her- like last year having Xmas dinner on 12/26 and pushing off my fam's traditional Christmas Eve celebration so that she and my father could accept a last minute invite from her family (I wasn't invited). She gets mad at my bro for things that are out of his control- like she and I giving him similar Xmas gifts. My mom loves her and thinks she and I should be friends. She barely talks to me when we are together and has recently told my bro that she doesn't like my b/f so there is little chance of a double date. She is a nice girl but nobody I'd really be friends with. We have nothing in common. I think my only obligation is to be cordial but my mom thinks differently. What should I do?
2006-12-27 04:41:20 · 8 answers · asked by CAITLIN 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I just wanted to clarify that I see my bro's g/f on Xmas, Thanksgiving, family birthdays, at various BBQ and pool days in the summer, and a few various times a months. I don't live at home but my mom has taken the initiative to invite his g/f to my house and then pretty much force me to hold a dinner party against my protest.
2006-12-27 05:02:06 · update #1
You don't have to be friends with anyone you don't want to be. Trust me, I was in a similar position. As long as you guys don't fight or talk about each other badly, cordial is more then enough.
2006-12-27 04:45:40 · answer #1 · answered by Chrystal 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is a common thing in life. I have to say your mother is right, be cordial to her. You can't change the fact that your bro has to deal with her emotions that's his problem and his alone to deal with.
You cannot be faulted for giving an identical gift. It's not right that she be mad over this.
Life can be difficult at times. We don't have control over life's events. If we did all of us would be happy, but somehow i also think it would be very boring LOL.
Sounds as if she's going to eventually end up being your sister-in-law. Make the best of it, and as time passes and your brother marries her, hopefully the two of you will have a better relationship.
Believe me I feel for you on this, I have brother-in-law's i didn't like that married my sisters, but after a dozen years or more they and i have become very close and i never thought that would ever happen. Good luck.
2006-12-27 04:51:03 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Just be cordial to her. Nice and friendly but that is about it.
You can't force a friendship and your mother should back off. As long as you are nice to that girl, you are doing fine.
2006-12-27 05:28:27 · answer #3 · answered by SS90 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with you. If you are cordial, that is all that should be expected. Why make yourself miserable by being around someone who it sounds like won't be cordial back? Good luck with this.
2006-12-27 04:44:00 · answer #4 · answered by donnabellekc 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if your brother is in-luv with this girl, and she seems to like everyone in your family except you, i think its best you just stay cordial with this girl, you owe her no obligation and you cant force her to like you, besides you didnt state if your brother was going to marry her. If your mom trys to push things, explain to her nicely what you really think........i hope i attempted your question.
2006-12-27 04:53:53 · answer #5 · answered by funky girlie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with you, be cordial but I wouldn't put myself out for her.
2006-12-27 04:49:27 · answer #6 · answered by Sandra W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is really up to you not your mom or anybody else. when at family gathering be nice. You don't have to go out of your way to impress no one. and if she doesn't like your boyfriend thats too bad. she can't tell you who to see. but if it really bothers you. talk to her and get what you feel out. who knows you might becomes friends. but if you don't thats fine . like i said before its really up to you. and no one else. and if shes going to get mad about the christmas gift. let her. your brother knows that you care about him and thats whats counts. just don't get in the middle of their fights. let him handle it.
2006-12-27 04:47:34 · answer #7 · answered by misty blue 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep your distance. Leave your bother alone. Advice to your brother about once a year is good enough.
2006-12-27 04:43:46 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋