If a guy is has a hard time keeping up at a girl's level (intellectually, monetary status, career, etc) why would he go to the length of being competitive if he wanted a relationship w/that girl?
Case point: I think this guy that I'm seeing has a hard time being the "guy" in the relationship because he feels inadequate I guess, although I've showed him countless times that I like him. But now he is trying to get me to confide in him whenever I'd have a crisis or something, like he needs to feel like I need him. Is that being genuine? But why is he being competitive? He did tell another guy once, about me, to not feel intimidated by me. Why would he say that? What could be his problem? And would it be stupid of me if I did have a crisis & confided in him? Is he trying to be a "man" that way instead?
2006-12-27 04:27:45 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He probably does feel "inadequate." My ex-husband used to despise the fact that I had a job I loved making twice as much as he did. His competitive nature was always trying to "one-up" me and it got really old really fast. I think that in a good relationship, both partners support each other's successes. A strong person would not feel intimidated IMO.
2006-12-27 04:55:01 · answer #1 · answered by pigmetal116 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We all have ideas of what a relationship is and how we are supposed to act in that relationship. If the relationship is not what we expected and our role is not what we anticipated, are we really in a relationship?!?! he's trying to find his place. A guy has the idea that he is to be needed in a relationship. Financially, emotionally, intellectually, physically. A guy who can fulfill all of those needs in a woman feels more than adequate, but what if he cannot fill one of those needs?!?! Then what is his role in the relationship?! He may be satisfied by you, but what satisfies you? What is he bringing to the proverbial table? He may not be intimidated, but his feeling of stability is at risk. He may just care about you and realize that this is his way of proving his worth. Do you ever tell him what it is about him that you like. Why do you like having him around? what do you want? maybe if you tell him these things, you'll avoid that crisis of which you speak.
If you are an achiever, then you are competitive. YOu need only look at yourself to see if he is competitive. I would expect that you would want a man who is competitive also. yea, there is such thing as over kill, but do you want a lemming in your life?
2006-12-27 12:37:08 · answer #2 · answered by Neptune 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just reading you question seem to have opened my eyes to the same situation that I am in. there are some men out there who have not really accomplished much in their lives and when they do meed a progressive woman and she show him that she loves him it seems to be a problem with him. Don't care what you do, he still do not seem to be comfortable in the relationship. My best suggestion to you and myself is to give him time to deal with his problem and if he decides to go with the flow or get on board by asking your advise as to accomplish himself further then its best to just leave him alone. I do not think it has any thing to do with his manhood, it being stubborn.
2006-12-27 12:48:09 · answer #3 · answered by Nichola S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋