When my only son was born, Me & my wife were not helped by either of our parents....No baby shower, offer to watch the baby and gives us a break. ( when both set of parents were fully capable of helping out...(just would have been a kind gesture...ya' know?))
Well my parents know that me and my wife are separated at the moment & Their GOOD Friend's daughter has just delivered her first born. My mom put a lot of effort into going to her baby shower...driving hour and a half away, when she didn't even try to get one going for her 1st grandchild ( and we lived in the same town.) Then my parents yesterday went to go see the newborn & brought back pictures and everything....The child was beautiful !!! but I couldn't get up for the baby ...seeing how much more my parents put more energy into their friend's grandchild. Knowing their friends didn't come to their grandchild when they lived less than 45 minutes away. Can anyone understand why the Hell I am so bitter?
2006-12-27 04:20:48 · 18 answers · asked by ? 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
My parents are nice people, but they refuse to analyze their flaws. Been there and done that....So talking to them would be spinning wheels.
2006-12-27 04:28:04 · update #1
I can understand why you are bitter. My mother always went to my brother's and spent time with his kids. She never spent hardly anytime with mine and didn't come to my son's first birthday party. I was very angry and bitter about this for a long time. However, I have had to pray to GOD for my poor behavior. I have to accept that my mother is going to do what she is going to do and there is nothing that I can do about that. She is the one missing out. I know it hurts and makes you just want to tell them about theirselves, but we can't do that. We have to be the better person in all this and make sure our children grow up not missing out on that love. Good luck and GOD bless.
2006-12-27 04:26:40 · answer #1 · answered by cookie 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yup! It's as though you can be taken for granted because you're family. Try to just let it pass though because bitterness will only poison you. Bitterness will not improve your relationship with your parents. I feel bitter sometimes because my in-laws live an hour away but we only see them 4 times a year. My own parents visit ar least twice a month and call weekly. But I just have to let it go because if I get upset, I'll be dwelling on the negative- what a waste of my time!
2006-12-27 12:28:27 · answer #2 · answered by AMEWzing 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes I can and you have perfect reason to be!! My fiance has a daughter (5yrs) from a previous relationship who lives with his parents (so does his ex- she lives with them). I have a 3 mth old boy and they never came to look for him (2nd grandchild, 1st grandson). Even the ex bought my son a present for Christmas and sent it with her daughter but my fiance's parents didn't. We live 10 mins away. I have reached the point where I just don't care anymore.
I took my son to see my own father on Christmas Day and he said he did not want to see him (1st and so far only grandchild). I calmly walked out from his house and I swear as of that day my father is dead.
You can't force anyone to love or accept your child but you can make sure he does not miss them. Who wants grandparents like that anyway. Your hurt and anger is justified, but don't let it ruin your life!!!
2006-12-27 12:30:04 · answer #3 · answered by stacy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I totally understand why you feel bitter. It's a normal reaction to the soap opera your parents are playing out. I won't venture to guess why they are acting this way, other than to say that usually this behavior is an indicator that they only care about what they want, and are inconsiderate of others who don't fit into their world. I have in-laws like this. We don't see them often anymore. It's not worth feeling second rate all the time. Be polite, but distance yourself. They don't care until THEY care. Selfish people can't be changed. Don't be bitter...feel sorry for them, know that they will die lonely people, and move on with your life. A good life that you have!
2006-12-27 12:26:15 · answer #4 · answered by nottashygirl 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Ya, that would bother me A LOT! There's no excuse for not wanting to help out your son with his 1st born but maybe they have issues with your ex-wife? Still not an excuse. Maybe just try to put it in the past. If you can't get over it then talk to your parents - maybe they are feeling horrible for the way things happened and didn't think it was their place to host a baby shower and didn't want to step on your toes and seem like over-powering grandparents?
2006-12-27 12:26:09 · answer #5 · answered by Cari 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I don't blame you one little bit. My wife's parents act like that. They make excuses when we ask them to watch the kids while we go to town for something...we don't ask very much...just once in a blue moon. But if one of their friends asks them to watch a kid their all happy to do it...no matter what. They piss me off and I wont visit them anymore. were lucky enough to have my parents ...they will cancel what their doing if we ask them to watch the kids...They don't tell us they had something else planed. We find out later sometimes.
I feel your pain...it is a major piss off. My wife's parents will buy Christmas presents for kids that aren't even related to them, but our kids get nothing from them. We only live 5 minutes from them.
I don't know how these people think....but it ain't right.
2006-12-27 12:32:13 · answer #6 · answered by steve 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes i understand. Its a mean thing to do. They should care more about their grandchild than their friends. You have every right to be bitter and angry, i would be too. Just dont let you baby know about all of this. Its a very uncomfterble place to be when you parents hate your grandparents and you dont.
2006-12-27 12:24:51 · answer #7 · answered by Chrissy 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I'd be a little angry. I think maybe your mom didn't like your wife. She probably didn't make your mom feel comfortable. My mother-in law is always complaining about my sister in law and how she just doesn't feel comfortable at her house.I also heard my mother in law during my sister in laws wedding toast say "it will never last". Nice huh! Real class act.
So...maybe that is what is going on with your parents.
2006-12-27 12:29:32 · answer #8 · answered by Kristi B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes I totally understand, and frankly I wouldn't have an answer for why they would do that to you. I can relate though, I've been in a similar situation. This sounds like an issue you may want to confront them with, because you need closure on it. It's not fair for your child as well! I would sit down and explain to them why you feel the way you feel.
2006-12-27 12:26:00 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
Hell yes you have every right to be pissed off. Do they make any effort now to see your children. It just doesn't make any sense. Thats totally wrong on their part. I feel for your child or children.
2006-12-27 12:27:01 · answer #10 · answered by flutterby 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋