My ten year old son's friend Jake shows disrespect to me as a parent. My son wants the freindship to end.

Question

My sons freind Jake never says thank you too me when ever I take him somewhere or if he sleeps over. He is always bragging about his $300 skateboards. When we went to wendys to eat,. i told jake to go wash his hands. Jake told me NO. I told him again to go wash his hands and he told me NO. I told him that we were not leaving wendys untill he washed his hands. Well we were late dropping jake over that night becuase the washing of the hands bit. Jakes mother yelled at me because I dropped him off late. I did not say a word to her or tell her why we were late. I bit the bullet. Since that happened in August Jake calls for my son to do things. We do not return calls , which included not going over for thier family christmas party, Yet Jakes still calls for my son to do things. I have not heard from Jakes mother since August and I feel its her resposibility to call me. What do I tell my son Randy to Jake on why Randy doesnt return his calls? Jakes mother needs appoligi

Answer 1

You refer to these people as friends?
That is not how friends treat each other, I would be glad you aren't around them. If the kid calls again simply tell him why your son does not want to be around him anymore, if there is a problem with that tell him you would be happy to talk to his mother, but from the sound of her it won't accomplish anything if she has yelled at you for bringing the brat home late....no wonder the kids a pain in the butt she probably thinks he does no wrong.

Answer 2

Why should Jake's mother call you ?

Remember, the last mental snapshot she has of you is your disrespect for her and her rules related to her son.

You kept him out late without an excuse. Of course a mother would be angry -- you spooked her.
You have probably disrespected her again, by not attending the pre-planned Christmas party.

This conflict could have been avoided with possibly some corrective action on Jake by his parents, if you would have said something in a timely matter. Had you called the mother and told her you would be late, and the reasoning behind it - she likely would have understood.
Yet, you know this. You're a loving/protective mother also, with the appropriate concern for him -- you would have likely done the same.

She cannot read your mind.
What we have here is a failure to communicate.

Call her -- she probably has forgot the details of the incident but probably still has some reservation about you related to the incident -- talk to her about what had happened.

Attempt to resolve the issue -- it a shame to lose a friendship over miscommunication (Jake's mother and you, or Jake and your son's)
-OR-
Ignore it, blind to your involvement of the events that occurred, forever blaming Jake and his mom for the incident.

Sorry girl, can't be sympathic. You kept mom's little boy out late, you didn't call her forewarning her, nor did you offer an excuse for your violation of her rules.
And now, you dissed her by not attending a pre-planned Christmas party.

Sorry, but WAKE UP !! plzzzzz

Answer 3

Washing of the hands!

Jake and his mother does not have the same moarles and vaules as you and your son Randy does. You are dealing with a kid who is at no fault of his own. He was raised by the parents that he did not get to choose. (Poor kid).

However, there is a bigger problem at hand and it's not Jake.
What I see here is two mothers having a fallin out and two kids are caught in the middle of this war.

Mom.... If you're still mad at Jake's mother for yelling at you. Then confront her or let it go. It would be nice if she picked up the phone and give you that friendly phone call and apologize to you. But she's not going to do it. She waited 4 months and she is holding onto her tounge. The choice is yours, make the move and call or make the move and move on.

The friendship between the two boys is partly over because of their mothers and not each other. Jake can't get to Wendys unless you drive him. He can't even come along on any event with you and Randy unless you okay. So right now it's you who is holding the ball (Not Randy). Because if that was the case, Randy would have put Jake in check when you told him to go and wash his hands.

Admit it, you really don't care for Jake and his mother and that's okay. And I support you on not wanting any kid who is going to be disrespectful to ever be around your house, in your house, in your car or in your care. (I wouldn't either)

But this war is not about the two boys..... so what are you going to do? Make up or keep on pouting? You missed the Xmas party already, and to get the phone calls to stop Randy will have to be the one to tell Jake to not call anymore.... but imagine how hard that is for him to do when it's not even his fight.

Help Randy out MOM!

Answer 4

1st, Jakes mother doesn't need to appologize because you were late in returning her son. Regardless of the reason, she is not aware of any transgression on her son's part so your apology is not coming any time soon. Does your son want to be involved with Jake? How old are these boys? You need to inform Jake that his attitude needs to change before he ever wishes to be allowed in your house. You can forbid your son from hanging out with Jake, but if he wants to do so, he will. IF he does not wish to associate with Jake, then he should just inform Jake that his conduct is not appropriate. You obviously don't like Jake. Be careful not to push your feelings off on your son. He may resent it later. He's going to be a man, so allow him some growth into manhood. You can tell him why you do like Jake, but allow him to make his own choice. Unless Jake is doing drugs or drunk driving, you will not like all of your son's friends. Just hope that they values that you've instilled in him will take over.
You may not see it, but Jake has some redeeming qualities at least in your son's eyes. Maybe he has money or is a popular kid. Allow your son to see Jake for what he really is and if you raised him right, he'll leave once he sees all the fertilizer that makes the grass so green.

Answer 5

Don't let him come over any more. You're the parent, just make the decision and leave it at that. There's other boys in the world, your son can make friends with some other child.

Why let this punk be around your good son?

Answer 6

talk to jakes mother and explain what happened at wendys. tell her that if jake cant respect you and listen to you hes not allowed over.

Answer 7

WELL U DON'T NEED UR SON 2 HAVE A FRIEND LIKE JAKE BECAUSE THEN UR SON WILL PICK UP JAKES NASTY WAYS AND U DO NOT WANT THAT SO LET IT B.

Answer 8

Appoligi

Answer 9

although it may be her responsibility to call you, i would call her and explain why you two are avoiding Jake. I would tell her all of the incidents. this may give you closure.

Answer 10

dont let jake go over to ur house anymore