I am sick of hearing her complain about him not committing to her and not taking her out on real dates. And I have told her more than once to get rid of him and free herself for someone good. How else do I tell her to get a clue??
2006-12-27 03:44:42 · 8 answers · asked by Special K 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It's not up to you to convince her of the obvious. You are her friend and care about her and that's nice, but she will do what she wants in the end. Tell her that you want what is best for her, but you don't see her doing what she needs to do to get what she wants. Let her know you'll be there for her, but that you do not want to hear any more about her relationship woes. If she brings it up again, say something like, "Sorry, can't help you with that!" Then change the subject.
2006-12-27 03:49:20 · answer #1 · answered by schweetums 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are trying to make some who likes rocky road, to not like rocky road. It's not your problem.
Look, you obviously care about this person, but she's stayed for 10 years! He must be doing something right. Is there a perfect relationship?! All relationships have problems. Some have more than others. He may not commit, but he's been with her for 10 years?! What is a real date? They've hit the comfort zone. After 10 years he's not going to change, but then neither is she. There is something going on here that she finds invaluable and will not risk losing it. She may go out on real dates with someone else, but she my lose out in other areas and she's not ready to do that.
You can tell her that you won't listen to her rants on the relationship anymore, unless she does something about it first. She may just be a complainer. Unless he's beating on her or verbally abusing her, just leave her be. Trust me, he is good somewhere. You may even see it. Its not for you to decide. If you have told her to move on and she refuses, then what can you do? Maybe if you start to act like he's really a great catch, he'll lose that fobiden fruit quality that you've help place on him. Maybe then she'll have second thoughts on why she wants to stay with him.
2006-12-27 04:05:32 · answer #2 · answered by Neptune 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh, this one is easy:
Answer: you don't.
Bottom line: it isn't any of your business. She's obviously getting something out of this relationship... and maybe it's just the fact that sticking with it makes her a victim-- and maybe she likes feeling helpless.
I know you care about her-- but you can't change her. If she asks your opinion, just tell her that you've run out of them. And change the subject.
There are some people in this world who aren't interested in solving problems... they're very interested in staying stuck.
She may be one of them.
Good luck.
2006-12-27 03:53:40 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her. Look her right in the eye and say "Snap out of it! He's not going to commit to you, he's Never going to commit to you or anyone else! Get on with the rest of your life woman!"
Or is that too subtle?
2006-12-27 03:47:57 · answer #4 · answered by lyoskowitz 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is nothing you can do until she is ready to move on. When she starts complaining just tell her you don't want to hear it anymore.
2006-12-27 03:47:26 · answer #5 · answered by Eyes of Green 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think she realizes what your saying but is still in love with him. You just have to find a way for her to realize he's not in love with her.
2006-12-27 03:47:23 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
leave her alone, she has right to be with whoever she wants to. She obviously loves the "loser."
2006-12-27 03:47:48 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can't. all you can do is be there for her. if after ten years, she can't see the truth of matters for herself, then perhaps she never will.
2006-12-27 03:48:13 · answer #8 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋