My parents are divorced and have both remarried. They got divorced when I was 5 and I'm now 30. When I was young they seemed to get along fine and always made sure I spent time with both sides of the family on the holidays.
However now that I'm grown they stopped co-operating. They always seem to go out of their way to schedule events for the same days and times and then both pressure me to come to their event and not the others.
Thanksgiving my dad and step mom were mad because I was only at their house for 30 minutes and didn't eat because my mom called and said she was serving one hour earilier then previously stated. This christmas my mom & step-dad are made because I came late and didn't eat because my dad who normally does a christmas brunch decided he wanted to have christmas dinner instead.
What can i do to make thing smoother between my parents are not get caught in the middle of their silliness? Also how can I get them to stick to the agreed upon time?
2006-12-27 03:38:45 · 7 answers · asked by WriterChic 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I always set the time, but then they change them. I have a huge paternal family asking my dad to change the time won't work due to all the family coming. My mom has small gatherings but shes like the black Martha Stewart no one can eat until everyone is there. I live in a one bedroom apartment that can't hold everyone. Plus my mom and step mom in the same house is a cops episode waiting to happen.
2006-12-27 03:58:44 · update #1
I think that you are doing great by attending at both parents homes to the best of your ability. Sounds to me like they are nitpicking moreso at each other than at you. Keep up the good work by being fair and understanding, as you have been. They will have to get over it and realize you are doing the best you can!
Happy holidays!
2006-12-27 04:01:52 · answer #1 · answered by TessaB 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are a adult you set the rules. Thanksgiving with Dad stop by and visit mom before hand or after Christmas eve with one Christmas day with another. Easter one year one parent one year the next. Set a schedule tell your parents you are sick of being in the middle and this is how it is going to be so that you dont feel the grief
2006-12-27 03:42:29 · answer #2 · answered by tbop_33 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are 30 yrs old... Have the Holiday celebrations at your house & invite everyone. They can choose to come or not. But I think when you do this, and tell them what you expect them to bring (food) and I mean tell them, do not ask them, have a plan. You maybe pleasantly surprised at the reaction you get! If they choose not to come, then invite a bunch of friends over & have a fantastic time! Life is too short of controversy over silly things...
2006-12-27 03:47:33 · answer #3 · answered by T. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can eat at one of there houses and at the other take a plate home. the next year do the opposite of what you did to even it out. or eat thanksgiving dinner at one and christmas at the other. your an adult and you can decide. how about you cook and invite them all over to your house, that should be fun.............lol
2006-12-27 04:00:04 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would sit them down and tell them how you feel. If it were me I would just say you know what here is what I am doing and you all can work around me. That is what I did with my parents and it seemed to work.
2006-12-27 03:52:00 · answer #5 · answered by sigkappsunshine 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you are 30. you set the dates.
2006-12-27 03:41:51 · answer #6 · answered by sexy c 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
tell them both to knock it off or you won't be seeing either of them....they will play this game as long as they can get away with it....good luck
2006-12-27 04:16:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋