should i have to pay her to babysit?

Question

my daughters daycare was unexpectedly closed today because of toxic fumes. i had to work, i told my mother that it was closed but i didnt ask for her to babysit. she made a big deal about her having to go in to work to finish up some cases, she's on vacation. i asked my aunt to babysit because i couldnt miss work and she said fine. then my mother says ok i will babysit but you have to pay me. i told her that i already had it worked out and to forget about it. now she emails me and she tells me that she will go get my daughter after work which she doesnt have to. should i have to pay her even though i said she didnt have to?

i would've missed out on about 100 bucks. i couldnt miss work, my supervisor retired last week leaving us with alot of work to do, plus i have to open up in the morning. i told my mom this morning not to worry about right after she went on a rant about how she didnt want to babysit and that she had to go to work to finish up somethings at work, i wasnt asking her to babysit, i was on my way out the door when they called, i was just informing her.

Answer 1

What a sticky situation. I wouldn't pay her if I were you. I think it was wrong for her to ask that of you to begin with... she's your Mom! Besides that, she handled it the wrong way.

It was nice of your Aunt to watch her though, so I would give her a little something to show your appreciation.

HTH!

Answer 2

If she picks up her grandchild thats her choice and she is not entittled to money. As soon as she said you must pay her and you told her nevermind you made other plans that meant she would not be paid to babysit. The fact that she decided to get the child on her own is on her. Make sure she knows this before she picks the child up. Call her and say Mom I really don't have any money to pay you to watch the baby so maybe you should leave her with aunt ?. If she says she will still get her anyway then she and you both know she is doing it for free.

Answer 3

Let her know that you have found a satisfactory metod to make sure your child is being taken care of. I would respond to her email, and ask her if you will need to pay for her "pick-up service". If she asks what do you mean, tell her, "Well, while during my emergency this morning, you were going to charge me for watching her, will there be a charge for your car service too"?

That should open up a dialogue about how that made you feel, I mean afterall, she is her granddaughter. It sounds like for the future, you need to get an understanding of how she feels she should be compensated for watching your daughter.

Good Luck! And you know how Moms are, somewhere in there, I am sure she thinks she is teaching you a lesson of some kind.

Answer 4

No, your mother is family and she is making a big deal about nothing. if your mother is choosing and you not telling her to go get your daughter, there is no need to pay her. It's her grandchild, it should be a joy to be with her. Not an obligation or a way to make money! She seems like she is being selfish, and you should tell your mom that the baby is fine where she is, at your aunt's, and that you will get her when you get off work, not your mom. when she asks you why, you tell her, cause she is being selfish for wanting money, and making you feel guilty for nothing. Good Luck.

Answer 5

No. Your mother is ovestepping the bounds you have set. You owe nothing. If you have already made other arrangements, they must be respected and not circumvented to suit her. That child is YOUR daughter and it is YOUR right to choose where she will be and from whom she will receive care when you are working.


I personally would not ask to be paid for the care of a grand child unless my own child wished to pay me for helping them out. Grand children are a blessing to be enjoyed.

I am not even sure it is legal for your mother to butt in like that and take your child out of the care you placed her in without your prior consent or agreement to it. I hope you will not let her make a habit of this behavior because it could quickly cause a rift in your family, and cause much heartache and grief. Your husband needs to back you up when you stand up for what is right in this.

Answer 6

No. Tell her if she wants to pick up your daughter, fine. But make sure she knows that you aren't going to pay her. If you want to, you can get something for your aunt to say thank you. It's not something we do in my family, nobody expects to be paid to watch their nieces/nephews/grandchildren. However, if that's something that you generally do, then pay your aunt, not your mother/

Answer 7

You already have the problem solved. You should not let your mom go get your daughter. Tell your aunt not to let your mom take your daughter. Get your aunt a nice gift she would like to say thank you for helping in a pinch.

Shame on your mom....

Answer 8

If you've already told her that she didn't have to do it and she's now chosen to go pick her up after completing her earlier obligations, I'd say that no, you don't have to pay her. Grabbing a gift card for a cup of coffee or a cheap bottle of wine would be a nice gesture, but by no means are you obligated to do anything.

Answer 9

You shouldn't even let her pick up your daughter. It is "you daughter not hers"
If she picks up your daughter without you permission then no I wouldn't pay her, in fact I would get on to her for violating your space in a manner of speaking/
However, if you did give her permission then yes you should pay her after all she did say she would charge you.
Personally I wouldn't let her pick up the child she has overstepped her bounds
She must learn to respect your wishes and your ability to solve your own problems.
My mom has done the same to me.

Answer 10

I think your mom is feeling guilty about telling you no before. You should be very gracious and thank her and your aunt a lot. Get each of them a little something--flowers, maybe--and don't let this turn into a family fight. It's not about babysitting anymore!