2006-12-27 03:28:30 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
To all you people that love to jump to conclusions, did I say I have kids myself? ust answer the question, and try to avoid insulting me for no reason.
2006-12-27 03:42:48 · update #1
My mom has told us kids "I love you, but I don't have to like you right now". Usually we were up to no good at that point! We had a lot of fun growing up! My parents love us unconditionally. But there are moments that are difficult. But my parents always let us know that there is a difference between liking and loving someone. Sometimes I don't like it when my husband does something, but I still love him.
2006-12-27 05:06:14 · answer #1 · answered by Erica, AKA Stretch 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's a huge difference in liking and loving. I don't particularly like my kids due to the choices that they've made in their lives, and the amount of disrespect that they show at times. I do, however, love them unconditionally. They are my kids, and I've raised them to the best of my ability. Their decisions are their own at this point. I still try to guide them in the right direction, as almost every parent does, but I find it ever frustrating to know that, even at their advanced ages, (I'm an empty nester now) they'll do whatever they please.
A perfect example of this is the dynamic between myself and my son. We're both very headstrong, and don't back down from each other in an argument. We both love each other dearly, but realize that we can't be in the same room together for very long before an argument breaks out. So we limit our exposure to each other for that very reason. We don't want to fight with each other.
I hope this sheds some light for you.
2006-12-27 08:40:50 · answer #2 · answered by mike w 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You give birth to them, you gotta love 'em. You don't have to love what they do or how they act, though. Probably the best advice I can give is that if they are older children, don't let them push your buttons. They are very good at this. When you are calm, sometimes they think you don't care, but if you are consistent they usually figure out that you love them and are tolerating their adolesence. The little guys? Firm but loving will work. But parents have to work on their attitude. People forget that the parents are people and have their own personal problems and stresses as well, and a kid in mid-tantrum can push you to slap or spank them to bring them back to reality. Better if you just step back from doing this, take 10 deep breaths, remember it's gonna get better. 18 years isn't so long, after all!!! :-)
2006-12-27 03:51:47 · answer #3 · answered by marymackie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow... ok, you sound a little frustrated. This happens from time to time with most people who have children. However, without trying to sound insultiing or judgmental.. You should realize that when you speak in that manner about your children, you are speaking directly about yourself (no disrespect intended). They didn't ask to be born and even though you are brutally honest (more than most people would admit) you can turn that feeling around with some help.
What you're seeing in your child(ren) you are actually seeing in yourself since they are by products or little replicas of you and your spouse. For lack of a better way to put it they are.... Mini-you. You probably strongly dislike what they do as opposed to the little person they are. You should try to seperate the behavior from the being... and understand first, what about their behavior you don't like... then seek avenues to address that specific issue or issues.
Again, If you don't like their behavior or how their character is developing don't be afraid to ask for or seek help from professionals, enroll parenting classes, or conflict/resolution classes for families.
Just remember you can't yell, punish or call your children names in hopes that it will diminish the "you" factor that's part of their makeup. You can however re-direct their attitudes through consistent and positive examples,positive influences (television choices, people interaction etc.) lifestyle choices, education, dicipline and priorities.
2006-12-27 04:32:10 · answer #4 · answered by 247 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kids are just that kids. You need to recognize this and do it fast.
Our children are an image of us. They are a combination of mom and dad's personalities. You are the P-A-R-E-N-T so act like it.
If you don't like the way they act then change it. If your kid is a little Ahole then it's because you are a big Ahole.
So stop whining about how bad your kid is and fix it. Otherwise, stop breeding. The world is full of enough Aholes.
2006-12-27 03:40:21 · answer #5 · answered by NyteWing 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
children did not ask to be brought into the world and out of a persons pleasure they seem to think that children should be made to pay,its not easy to be a loving parent sometimes but we must realize the little ones is not at fault if there is a fault it should be blamed on the parents they are totally dependant on thier parents and to imagine hating one of these little guys would cause me some concern maybe you should see a counselor or someone to help there is a problem
2006-12-27 03:38:34 · answer #6 · answered by loveChrist 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have never not liked or loved my kids. How old is this ahole you mention?
While I always like/love my kids, I don't always like what they do. But that's why you love them, so you can deal with the things they do that you don't like.
2006-12-27 04:12:03 · answer #7 · answered by Special Ethel 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have felt this way before, but it was not them that I did not like it was their behavior. I realized something. For the most part, our children's behavior is a reflection of what we have taught them or exposed them too. It is up to the parents to put their foot down and lay down rules, punishments and values and explain them. This has helped my family go along way. But is very hard to implement, it takes a lot of work..
2006-12-27 03:52:31 · answer #8 · answered by love me despite it all 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes kids are dislikable, but bottom line is you love them and they look to you to get their life learning. When those times come about just give them a hug and you and the child will feel better.
2006-12-27 03:32:18 · answer #9 · answered by stringhead3 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love the children, dislike the behavior.
I love my kids more than anything in this world, and nothing they can do will ever change that. No matter how "bad" they are, it doesn't make me love them less. While I don't usually like to quote religious references or cliches, this one fits perfectly for your question:
"Love the sinner, hate the sin."
2006-12-27 03:36:26 · answer #10 · answered by welches_grape_jelly 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋