I recently got a divorce about 4 months ago, been seperated for over 6 months, now. I was dating somone, then broke it off and started dating my ex again. Well the guy I was dating was black and I am white, as well my husband. I met the guy I was dating at a friends house, I am still friends with her. I have been dating my ex for a couple of weeks now, well he started being concerned about me going over to my friends house for fear that my now ex boyfriend would come over there. On Christmas Eve, I was over there exchanging gifts with my friend and her family, well, my ex husband comes over there, knowing he's not welcome there, and throws a big fit, the police had to be called because he was acting violent in front of everyone. I am just a nervous reck about the situatuion. I am in love with the ex boyfriend but still care for my ex husband very much too, but seeing him go crazy like that mad me think do I really want to have anything to do with him at all?
2006-12-27 03:21:53 · 28 answers · asked by alleybug_2003 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I told my ex husband I was going over there for about half an hour, and I would spend time with him when I left. He just came over there. My friends husband got in his face, and I feel like I am livng a dbl life here. I just don't know what to do anymore. I am feeling torn between this. And my exboyfriend is trying to contact me now. I am wanting to just run away from all my problems. Did I make a mistake for not standing up for my husband when that guy was in his face. I took my friends side not my ex husbands. Another thing these last cpl weeks that I have been seeing my husband I went back to my ex boyfriend twice and felt guilty about it and told my ex husband. I have betrayed him, but I don't know what to do anymore.
2006-12-27 03:26:58 · update #1
I have the oppurtunity to move to New York with some family in a cpl months, but I am trying to get the $$$ together so I can go. I live in the south so its going to be a big change and very expensive.
2006-12-27 03:31:06 · update #2
Um, you left in the first place for a reason, which became apparent again over the hoilday. If you are dating and he shows up somewhere and the police need to be called you should rethink the dating yur ex thing, get away while you can.
2006-12-27 03:26:30 · answer #1 · answered by lisa h 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your ex-husband is obviously jealous that you had a relationship so soon after completing your divorce. But the thing to remember here is that he's an ex for a reason.
I don't know why you ended your involvement with your boyfriend, but whatever the reason you obviously need to time to rebalance yourself emotionally. Your fresh out of a marriage AND have just finished with a new boyfriend. It seems to me like you're afraid of being alone - but in your current situation that would do you a LOT of good. You've lost yourself in your circumstances and you need some time out. Don't be in a hurry!
2006-12-27 03:30:28 · answer #2 · answered by prusec_int 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs anger management classes, but that won't necessarily make him nice. I would be very careful and really think about staying with a guy who seems a little scary.
Also, he must have really done some bad things if your friends do not welcome him into their home.
You sound confused about what you want. Why choose anyone right now? Take some time and figure out what went wrong with your ex and don't jump into a new relationship until you are emotionally. You say you really love you ex boyfriend--it sounds like you got involved too seriously too soon.
2006-12-27 03:26:53 · answer #3 · answered by schweetums 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are being very selfish in your choices. If he was the one that had a x-boyfriend and the situation was turned around how would you feel? You need to consider his feelings. And I don't understand why you felt it was so important to mention the race of the individuals involved? All are humans, bottom line and no one likes their feelings to be played with. If you are going to make it work with the x-husband then forget about the x-boyfriend. Grow up and think before you make such selfish self serving choices. God bless****
2006-12-27 03:27:46 · answer #4 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I personally think you are on the rebound from your ex and you need this time to sit back and reevaluate yourself and your life in general you are moving too fast slow it down. Your ex husband seems like a time bomb and you don't need that drama if you love the ex boyfriend give it time and be friends and see what happens but the key thing is time. and no you aren't betraying your ex husband because thats what he is your ex.
2006-12-27 03:27:20 · answer #5 · answered by Neek-Neek 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you were being passive-aggressive in going to the friends house. Not nice, but not the level of betrayal. That said, I think you really know how to play your ex, and I think you like drama. He is going to be telling stories about you for a very long time.
Just read your additional stuff. Cheating is betrayal. Admit that you are a swinger and quit messing with monogamous guys, it really hurts non swingers, I know you can't understand.
2006-12-27 03:30:18 · answer #6 · answered by tenbadthings 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LEAVE HIM!!!
if the new guy is great then acccept a great guy!
Dont loom on an old flame b.c of what you remember. You cant be with someone inthe PRESENT for they treated you in the PAST.
Leave him b.cit will get worse and worse. You dont want to be the girl who is alone b.c your ex comes back and wins you over to just keep you to himself. Give yourself a cnage at being happy
2006-12-27 03:28:49 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You knew this would happen and yet you wanted to go over there and create this big drama. You should be ashamed of yourself. Get a life. You want those guys to fight over you but listen you will get the raw end of the deal if you do not start thinking and making better decisions.
2006-12-27 03:27:25 · answer #8 · answered by starsmoonis 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you want to date your ex-husband, stay out of your friend's house. If you're in love with the ex boyfriend, stay away from your ex husband, or somebody is going to get hurt. How hard is that to figure out?
2006-12-27 03:29:56 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your EX-husband is just that....EX....and he has no right telling you what to do nor whom to do it with. He sounds pretty nutty to me; is he going to stalk you? I think you need to put distance between the two of you and stay away from him. If he causes ANY problem, call the police. And watch your back. You don't want to end up a statistic.
2006-12-27 03:29:22 · answer #10 · answered by missingora 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋