And before anyone says anything iffy about me, be warned,I'll be round your place and pull out your tripes with fishing hooks and behead you for dessert;the first twonk who draws iffy cartoons of me will be the subject of a 100 year long vendetta before I finally disappear in a puff of pink rage (thank god....)
2006-12-27 03:04:53 · 25 answers · asked by shyteforbrains 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
LMAO!!!
OMG, you are too good, girl!!!
"puff of of pink rage"?!?!?
LMAO!!!!
Happy New Year!!!!
2006-12-27 03:17:27 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you want it to succeed, you'll have to do a few things:
1. Claim that your way is more correct than anyone else. You don't HAVE to make fun of the beliefs of others (though it's a good move to encourage that in your congregation) , but you MUST point out how those others are wrong.
2. It's a good move to be more restrictive than other religions, have tougher rules (but you must look the other way when your "flock" don't actually follow them - give them some sort of "get out of punishment free" card, like confession or blanket forgiveness, but only to those who follow you). You don't want any of those open-minded or tolerant people in the ranks.
3. Promise your followers some sort of eternal reward (appeal to the natural human fear of death and endings). Make sure they understand that only by following the rules that YOU say "God" has set can they get this reward. Tell them horror stories about people who have strayed from the path of righteousness (but always give them an "out" if they proclaim that yours is the only true religion).
4.Collect money. Most people don't actually believe that they can get something valuable without paying for it.
5. Tell your followers that they are inherently better than other people - that will get you the best results, because they want verification of their own superiority.
Basically, you should follow the examples of the folks who set up "trendy" nightclubs that thrive on their exclusiveness. If you make it difficult to get in, everyone will want to, and they won't ever question whether it's worth the trouble or not. Having a high-profile celebrity join your religion is a VERY GOOD thing, so cultivate celebrities.
2006-12-27 03:51:20 · answer #2 · answered by Praise Singer 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well dont start with the old chesnut that you hate America , its been done to death , how about pulling out tripes with fishing hooks and beheading . No i think its been done to , i like the dessert bit though , could catch on . Dont think worshiping twonks has been done you might have something there ,as they are always with us and as insidius as the night . imagine ten million twonks descending on you , i think the world would capitulate immediatly
2006-12-27 03:51:11 · answer #3 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, say that you have a revelation from God. It doesn't matter what God, but the one of Abraham will probably work the best since most people believe in that God in the first place. Then, you have to share whatever message God shared with you with the people. Collect followers. Dictate rules and a way of life they must follow. Condemn everyone who doesn't believe with you nasty things. Spread your Gospel in printed form and used other forms of media for your advantage. Recruit college students and tell them the other religious organizations are evil. Hand out your pamphlets in high traffic areas.
2006-12-27 03:08:51 · answer #4 · answered by Mrs. Pears 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Say that you are the child of god and make some wacky claims and do some magic! They will either join your religion send you to a mental hospital or give you your own act in Vegas- sounds like win win to me! Yeah even the mental hospital part- I know it's weird but they seem kinda fun!
2006-12-27 03:11:39 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First you have to come up with a snazzy name like, "The Fire Baptised Temple Of David Holiness Methodist Church Of Jesus Christ The Risen Lord And Lamb Of God Reformed."
2006-12-27 03:09:55 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Judgment seems to be an important ingredient.
Add a bit of arrogance and an air of superiority to cover any insecurity.
Mix with a lot of conflicting scripture and don't forget the guilt and you have something that resembles most western religions.
love and blessings Don
2006-12-27 03:09:48 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I would like to get in on the ground floor as in my experience, most fanatical religions get the later converts to die for them - not the leaders. Where do I sign up? Will there be mandatory sex with the leaders?
2006-12-27 03:07:22 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First you'll need a huge and powerful army to conquer people and force your religion on them. After a few generations the religion will be widely accepted and you'll be on your way....
2006-12-27 03:06:41 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh it's very easy to start a cult.
Offer free cookies and drinks, then lock the door!
2006-12-27 03:06:38 · answer #10 · answered by some teenager 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you gotta have special clothing to identify your group and build a common identity among followers.
you probably need a charismatic male to lead, although a female led religion would be different.
2006-12-27 04:50:05 · answer #11 · answered by andylefty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋