I've been with my man for going on 6 years, and up to the 5 year mark, i got along with his mother just wonderfully, we'd go out to lunch, have coffee, go shopping, etc.... and i loved her to pieces.... now, we'll be at 6 years in may, and I haven't been to their house once in the last 4 or 5 months where i didn't leave with my feelings hurt and crying.... For christmas, we decided that he would spend his holiday with his folks, and I would travel the 150 miles to my family's place, and come home crhistmas evening and then we'd do christmas with his folks and me (they'd already done their stuff on christmas), just a gift exchange, on tuesday night after we all got home from work. I showed up there last night with a huge bag of presents for his mom and dad, and she flew off the handle yelling at everyone that she didn't want to have christmas again, and ate dinner and she went to bed while i was crying in the spare bedroom. I don't know what i did, and neither does my guy or his dad...
2006-12-27 02:56:41 · 10 answers · asked by Silver Thunderbird 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I am 23, my man is 28, and his mom is only 46. His dad is 53, and the dog is 2.
lol no kids.
2006-12-27 03:05:20 · update #1
I'm just really sick of walking on eggshells around her anymore, and before, i was okay with it, because i was determined to beat the norm, and have a good relationship with my inlaws because i grew up not even knowing my father's family because there was such friction between them and my mom. my father in law is wonderful, when we have disagreements, at least he's open minded enough to talk them out with me. But she's not the type to talk. her way or no way, period. and i'm not like that, i'm very open minded, and can understand if she's having problems, but she only takes them out on me. she married VERY young, around 14, and she regrets having been tied down all her life, and every time we'd talked a few years ago, all she could talk about was that she wished she was single. I think i remind her of her dream to have her own life, and it bothers her to see me sometimes..... but i shouldn't have to put up with being treated like dog crap. There's no talking, what else can i do?
2006-12-27 04:24:07 · update #2
the last big argument we had, i had bought some birthday presents for my step daughter and was going to send them to her (i still have never met her,and her daddy hasnt been allowed tosee her since she was 3, she's 9 now) and his mom flew off the handle then and said that i shouldn't attempt anything because it's not my place. Every time i try to do something nice for anyone in that family, i get smacked in the face.
2006-12-27 04:33:50 · update #3
Yes, I still get along great with my mother in law. I have been with my husband 13 1/2 years, 12 of them married. At first, it took some time for me to adjust to their family routines and dynamics. Once I did, I can begin to appreciate how different she is from my own mother. Between the 2 of them, I have learned so much about myself!! I look more to her as a friend than a mother in law. But, it sounds like your mother in law is living her life in the past and full of regrets. When someone is that unhappy with their life; it does not matter what you do, they will never be happy. Too much negativity will wear you down and it is not good for you. Congratulations on trying to be the better person and do the right thing. Continue being cordial to you mother in law; but remember that the sun does not rise and set on her. As much as she bugs you, she did give you her son - which also might be part of the problem, she does not want to admit that her son is grown up and able to make his own decisions. Good luck and I hope better days are soon to come your way!!
2006-12-27 05:43:31 · answer #1 · answered by abowen11298 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
This woman has some real security issues - does she have a husband? Sounds like she has nothing else to do except fixate on her son. What a freakn nightmare. These people are right that are telling you to move - this will solve a lot of your problems. She has no respect for you or your privacy. Perhaps you need to give your husband an ultimatum - move and save your marriage or simply wait for its inevitable disintegration. Even if you ignore her, don't take it to heart, etc etc, the fact that she is literally in your face is going to drive you more and more insane.
2016-03-29 08:12:27 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like there may be more to the story than just yours and hers relationship. Talk to your father in law. If there are mood swings or changes in personality, there may be other medically related things going on and she should go see her doctor.
If you don't think that's it, then you may want to sit down with her and try to have a rational talk with her. It sounds like you had a very strong relationship with her and jsut let her know that you want to continue it.
2006-12-27 03:04:25 · answer #3 · answered by married2004 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i know exactally what you mean. My husband and i have been together for 4 yrs (im 22 hes 30). We moved in together after going out for a year the whole time we were in Florida (she lives in Pa.) she kept telling me that we should move up here. Im not used to the cold but this past may we did. The first few months everything went fine. I did my share of the house work because i had to stay home with the baby because we cannot afford child care (she moved in with us when we bought our house). The past few months she has been very snappy with me every time she asks me to do something she has to have and attitude. Yesterday my husband and i were very sick like we couldnt get out of bed. This morning we were both feeling better so i went to the babys room (she had taken care of the baby) i got the baby ready and then i got myself ready to go with my husband on the ride to work. My husband came downstairs and i asked him how much longer we had untill we left and she said very rude "Your not coming with us." Then started this big argument about how she does everything and im lazy and i dont take care of my baby. Then she had the nerve to tell me that me and my brat baby (my baby cryes alot because she has colic) can get out of her house. i told her that it is my house and she has no right to kick me out. Now shes mad at me because i told her that if she was going to treat me like garbage she wont see her granddaughter anymore. Everyone who sees us in everyday life sees that she is always trying to start problems with me. Sorry to be so long winded.
2006-12-27 03:33:44 · answer #4 · answered by lizzie s 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Flying into a rage and being difficult is one of the symptoms of Alzheimer's. In that case, there's really nothing you can do to reason with a person. She's probably getting up there in years and should be checked by a doctor.
2006-12-27 03:03:43 · answer #5 · answered by gypsy jane 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You've had more good years than I have. We're approaching 5 years together/4 years married and my husband and his brother had some words (his brother doesn't like me...my theory is because my husband saw me first and it would be easier to leave his paws off me if he convinced himself that he didn't like me) and I wound up "univited" to Christmas (at the brother's house) and their mom told my husband that he never should've married me in the first place. (note: we have the best relationship of all his siblings)
2006-12-27 03:35:13 · answer #6 · answered by Gabby_Gabby_Purrsalot 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you have been getting along with ur mom-in-law for so long, then I suggest that u let her calm down and discuss the matter with her. You relationship with her is so warm and beautiful, why let the bridges burn so easily?
2006-12-27 03:01:25 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should talk to her if you two are close. I wouldnt take it personally that she went off, something else had to be going on with her.
2006-12-27 03:06:06 · answer #8 · answered by Bantuknots 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She is just a sick bittchh. later for her. i dont like my mom inlaw i just deal with her when i need to. she knows i dont pick up the phone all the time when i see her on the caller i.d. GOOD! when you act like they are god they treat you like ****. try acting nasty to her for a change.
2006-12-27 03:00:00 · answer #9 · answered by sexy c 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes...I have a perfect relationship with my....Luckilly, she is dead for 3 years....
2006-12-27 03:00:32 · answer #10 · answered by joy_lol 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋