2006-12-27 02:34:18 · 21 answers · asked by nellie1362 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
If they are expecting to be in your wedding, then they need to know as soon as possible that they will not be. Just explain it like you did just now - "I want you in my wedding but Joe wants a small wedding party." Maybe there are other ways they can help other than be in the wedding party - serve at the reception, usher, help decorate ahead of time, pick up things for you. If you try to include them in the preparations it will help soften the blow, and will let them know that you really value their friendships.
As an old married lady I can also add here that even though the wedding takes so much planning, the Big Deal is that two lives are becoming one, and if the wedding does not go off quite as you've dreamed, this will not make a hill of beans difference in your marriage.
You might also want to consider WHY your fiance does not want a big wedding party - does he not have enough friends/relatives to stand up for him? If not maybe a few from your side of the family could do so. If you know WHY then maybe that problem can be solved and your friends can participate as you want.
2006-12-27 02:42:49 · answer #1 · answered by Cris O 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here is the first test of your ability - as a couple - to compromise. Agree on a suitable number for the wedding party together. Once decided - the least of your problems should be telling friends that they are not in the wedding party! Stop making issues where they don't exist...and focus on the important thing....you are entering into a marriage. This is not simply the planning of a party...it is the start of the rest of your life.
2006-12-27 02:58:19 · answer #2 · answered by Super Ruper 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to agree on the wedding together. Tell them that you are having a small wedding with only so many people in it.
2006-12-27 02:43:15 · answer #3 · answered by red1967 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Explain to them that you and your fiance agreed to have a small wedding party but that you still want them involved in the wedding. Give them something to read at the ceremony, put them in charge of the guest book , have them seat the guests, maybe have them sit up close with the family members. There are different ways you can still allow them to be involved.
2006-12-27 02:41:19 · answer #4 · answered by adrianez 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like the same boat I was in. I told my fiance that I really wanted my sister and my friends in my wedding. I have 7 bridesmaids and he has 4 grooms men. Our best man and maid of honor are walking together and then each of the other guys is walking down with 2 girls. Good luck, hopefully you guys can figure soemthing out! :)
2006-12-27 02:37:07 · answer #5 · answered by jenna11rn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It does not need to be even I went to a wedding last week that had 13 grooms men and 3 bridesmaids. Its your wedding and you can do it how ever you want!
2006-12-27 02:45:31 · answer #6 · answered by erica c 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You would normally just ask the people whom you want in the wedding, not tell people they aren't being in the wedding. Unless you did something really silly and told them before you had everything settled with your man - then, you have to just be straight with them.
2006-12-27 10:52:34 · answer #7 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just explain to them that your wedding is to be low-key. If you have to decide between friends, that is a little more difficult. If this is the case, I would only have a best man and maid of honor with no maids/groomsmen at all. That way you each choose one person (a best friend, perhaps). That way, no one feels slighted. After all, it is YOUR wedding not theirs.
2006-12-27 02:40:52 · answer #8 · answered by CPT Jack 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Nowadays, you can custom-make your wedding party to suit your wants and needs. I'm having three bridesmaids but no Maid of Honor, and he may not even choose a Best Man, but I hope he does. It all depends on how formal you need/want to be. Good luck.
2006-12-27 04:32:09 · answer #9 · answered by Happy Wife 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats it...you just tell them its going to be a small wedding party and you cant have all of them. pick the friends you want in it the most or if you cant pick then draw names and thats whos in your wedding. the bigger the wedding party the more its going to cost you. remember that.
2006-12-27 02:57:41 · answer #10 · answered by Jenn ♥Cadence Jade's mum♥ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋