What is your opinion on this? My father feels as if I am a "guest" in his house and should ask when I want some food or something to drink. I find this appalling. Yes, I agree that I no longer live under his roof but his home will always be "home" to me. I think that it is almost degrading that makes me feel this way. This was a rule in the house that all of us children observed growing up and I can understand that because we would have eaten them out of the house but I am an adult now. When my children come to my house, I do not make them ask for anything. What is mine is theirs and they can have anything they want! Please share your thoughts and views. Thanks.
2006-12-27 02:13:48 · 9 answers · asked by Lt 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I'm 41 and when I go home I still feel it is home and I should be entitled to whatever I want it doesn't work that way. Its there house and sometime things are bought for a specific reason so I always ask now just to keep peace.
2006-12-27 02:20:48 · answer #1 · answered by mom363546 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can't teach an old dog new tricks. If you had to ask for everything growing up, what makes you think that now, after you have grown up and moved out, that you are not a guest in his eyes? You don't live there, and technically, you are a guest. No, I don't agree with it, it seems kind of cold, but I don't think there is anything you can do to change it. What you can do though, is follow through on your thoughts with your own children and break the cycle. Don't make them feel the same way your father made you feel. Every generation is supposed to raise a generation better than the last by changing things that were wrong. This is a good way to start.
2006-12-27 02:37:12 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Hard to answer this without knowing either of you but maybe there's a control issue with your father. He had control over you when you were living at his house because you were living under his roof, but now that you've moved out he feels he has no control and the only way he can have control is by making you ask when you want something to drink or eat.
I think it's a control issue with your father. My father is the same way.
2006-12-27 02:18:12 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think this attitude of his is somewhat odd.
However, you cannot change him, all you can change is yourself.
Therefore if he insists that you are a guest in his home, then act like a guest. Sit there and do nothing to help with anything. Do not offer to help with the dishes or anything around the house.
He can't complain about it. After all, you're just giving him what he wants --acting like a guest.
2006-12-27 02:18:15 · answer #4 · answered by Karen L 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You can do what ever you want in your home. It's just food and food goes hand in hand with fellowship. I think everyone should have a bit of something baked, simmering, or stashed for fellowship. Even you tho may find in your own home there could be times you made a dish to pass or have company coming and nobody needs to get into that food :D
2006-12-27 02:33:29 · answer #5 · answered by GoodQuestion 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
His house--his rules
Your house--your rules.
Whatever anyone thinks of the above is moot.
One person's "degrading requirement" might just be another's "gracious guest".
2006-12-27 02:19:39 · answer #6 · answered by Trollbuster 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well thats really strange.
I think ur right.
Personally I don't agree with ur father. My elder sister is married n wen ever she visits us there is no change in behavior of my parents.
I think u should talk 2 him n clear ur doubts
2006-12-27 03:25:42 · answer #7 · answered by Angel 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
His house his rules your house your rules.
2006-12-27 10:06:03 · answer #8 · answered by wildpalomino 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your father is being ridiculous. I'd be hurt too.
2006-12-27 02:29:49 · answer #9 · answered by Debra D 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋