do i stay with him?

Question

i had such a bad xmas, my bf got me a bath set, it was a nice one, prob cos bout £30 but ive just had the worst few months ever, i had a miscarriage a few weeks ago and while i was pregnant my bf treated me badly as he didnt want me to keep it and i did, he eventually came round and appologised and i forgave him, but i just thought with all ive been through he wud of gone to more of an effort for me. he moved into his new house the day b4 xmas eve, which he has got with his mate. i have been with him for 2 yrs and he knows how much i hate bein at home, i just feel so crap. everythin is his mate this his mate that and i feel in the way and 2nd best all the time. i feel so crap in myself, i had a crap childhood and i just want to be happy with him but im findin it tough, feel he dusnt care

Answer 1

Wow it sounds like life has thrown you a curve ball. I can only imagine how torn you must feel.

For me, I feel that he is definitely not respecting your needs. Especially the example you gave about his negative treatment while you were pregnant. Pregnancy takes two people and can pose many difficult decisions for the parents to deal with and there was no need for him to be rude to you. It sound like he has a lot of growing up to do.

If you have tried to talk about how the situation with his room mate affects you and he has not taken any action, then he really doesn't have any respect for your feelings. It sounds like maybe you should reconsider what you want from a relationship and if this relationship can meet those needs appropriately.

Two years with someone will pose a lot of mixed up feelings when deciding whether or not to stay with someone. Just keep in mind that if you truly don't think this relationship will continue to make you happy and meet your desires, that another two years would be wasting two years you could be spending in the relationship of your dreams.

Fairytales do come true but it sounds like if you stay in this relationship, your fairytale may include quite a few speedbumps. Best of luck.

Answer 2

Give him some time to calm down. It may be that he panicked a bit when he found out you were pregnant and had a move planned at the same time. Those two are major life stressors. You may find that once you take the pressure off a bit, that he comes back around to being the man you love.

Also, let him know that your feelings are hurt, but do this in a non threatening way. As with any relationship, you will get better results when you do not attack the other person. Good luck!

Answer 3

Happiness is within. It is clear that you have had a hard life. You must come to terms with it. Because you can't change your pass but you can change the rest of your life now. You can't contol what others do but you can control what you do. Don't let anyone ever make you feel bad about who you are. You are someone special because you are. You must really express to your boyfriend what you are feeling. The conversation must be one without anger, or he will tune you out. And may take longer to get him to understand you feelings. It seems like you have a lot you need to discuss with him and it's not coming out the right way. Then you feel more stress about the realtionship. Take time to think about your life, and what you really want out of it. Make some decisions and start making small changes. You can't change him but you can, change the way you handle things. Know that it's okay to feel what you feel. The important thing is to be able to still live a happy life in the mist of trouble times.

Answer 4

He seems inconsiderate and seems to place his friends before you. You would think a man would be more sincere in the loss of your baby and your right take an extra effrt to make you feel better. i think you should talk to him about your feelings and if things don't work out then it's time to move on. Good luck. I wish you well.

Answer 5

Two years huh? That soumds familiar. You'll know when its time to say goodbye. Its a hard habit to break but you'll do it if your a survivor you will manage. If its mean't to be you'll become his number one Lady. If not, he never was yours and there WILL appear out of no-where someone else.Maybe you need some time for YOU right now? Hope it all works out for good for you.

Answer 6

sweetie, i am so sorry for your loss, both of them. you have lost your "boyfriend" if he has moved in with someone else. screw him, he is an asshole and he does not care about you, he bought you a damn bath set, that was probably not even $30. i think you need to just let it go and move on, allow him to be someone else's problem, dust your shoulders off, do not let your past interfere with your present. you had a crappy christmas, but do not not have a crappy new years. make this one yours!!!!!!!!!
take care of your self, HAPPY holidays.!!

Answer 7

If you read what you wrote it would show you what he is made of. Stop wasting your time with that BOZO and move on. He didin't care about your misfortune, your welfare and well being...what more do you need to see it is not a good match?

Answer 8

I would have a serious heart to heart with him without whining and yelling and if things don't change I would walk away from the relationship

Answer 9

All about you isn't it then? Sounds to me like he's got a life outside of you and you aren't so into that.
Give him room and be there when you're together.
If you feel like crap because of him though (and you'd feel better without him) get out.
It just sounds to me like you're asking for sympathy and you should be living your life as though you don't need anyone else.
Don't get me wrong. I've got my faults too. I just call them as I see them.

Answer 10

He doesn't sound very understanding or nice, or caring. I would ditch him. If you stay you'll be settling for him. You can find someone who will treat you better. Cheer up. Take care.