My boyfriend is spending a lot of time recently with this girl, sees her about 3-4 times a week and also works with her. He reassures me constantly that he only wants me and nothing is going on between them except they get on well. What's worse is that she fancys him and everyone knows this and she bought him an expensive xmas present which really annoyed me. Then they spent the whole of boxing day together which made me feel so jealous. Am I wrong to feel like this? How close is too close?
2006-12-27 00:57:58 · 12 answers · asked by hunni_star 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
it would definitely tick me off too. I think you have every right to be jealous. Tell him of your feelings. If he cares ONLY about you as he claims then he will be willing to change things to make you feel better. If not I would wonder whether or not it was time to leave. And perhaps telling him so if it comes to that could squash "little miss IN THE WAY"
2006-12-27 01:02:43 · answer #1 · answered by CGS 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are NOT wrong to feel like this. If he is seeing this girl at work AND 3-4 times a week, that is a red flag, especially if this is 3-4 times with you are never invited. That she likes him and that this is well known is another red flag. Her intentions are obvious. That she bought him a really expensive present is ANOTHER red flag. She may be trying to prove that she is better than you. That they spent the entire day after Christmas together is yet ANOTHER red flag. Does it necessarily mean he is cheating on you? No. But my money is on him already being a cheat. You need to have a SERIOUS talk with this guy and let him know how you feel and why you feel this way. It is probably one in a hundred relationships where this situation would end up not meaning a thing, but you never know. How long have they been friends? How do they act around one another? It COULD be innocent. That said, if they can get two girls in bed with them, thousands of guys would be happy to have it both ways. So do not be a sucker. Be prepared to dump his butt if it turns out there is something going on. It'll suck for a little while, but you'll find someone better. He probably is not worth it, and if he cheats on you, one day SHE'LL be the one asking this question.
2006-12-27 09:07:55 · answer #2 · answered by Mr. Taco 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
NO, you are not wrong, he is. If he knows this friendship bothers you and it's not a person that was around before you, then he needs to cool it with this girl. Especially if she is crushing on him. He probably fancies the attention he's getting from her. It is only a matter of time before something does happen.
It would be different if this was a friend he's had for years and they both just wanted a platonic relationship, but this is a girl he met after you and she wants more than to be just friends.
If it were me, I would make him choose her or me. You can't make him quit his job, but he doesn't need to spend any quality time with her after hours and if he's unwilling to stop seeing her, then he's already emotionally attached and it will be physical soon enough. It almost seems like he's dating her right in front of you with the disguise of "friendship". You may as well break up with him if he won't end his friendship with her.
2006-12-27 09:06:33 · answer #3 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would have to say no. For the main reason that she has feelings for him.
My best friend is a guy. We work in the same building, have coffee every morning and lunch almost every day, and we see each other almost every weekend, BUT, we do not have, nor have we ever had feelings for each other. I hang out with him and his girlfriend, or the woman he may be dating, if I am dating someone, we do things together, and actually a former is one of my very best friends now. Not one of the women he has dated has ever been jealous of me because they know there is nothing between us.
Please tell your boyfriend that this wouldn't bother you if it were not evident that she has feelings for him. If he insist that she doesn't, bring out the fact that everyone knows this but him. If he continues to carry on with her, you may just want to keep your guard up, don't be too pushy with him, because if he truly doesn't see it, it will push him away. But on the other hand, don't let them make a fool of you. Act in a smart and wise way. If he loves you he will see that she is trying to put a wedge between you guys.
Good Luck.
2006-12-27 09:11:59 · answer #4 · answered by deanie1962 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your feelings are very valid. Do this, mentally put yourself in the other position. You are meeting with a co-worker as often and the one receiving the gits, etc. How would this make your boyfriend feel. Be honest with yourself what would you goals be why would you be doing this and making your significant other feel so uncomfortable. Because you are receiving gratification of some kind. Something is going on with the two of them, he is being dishonest. It does not take a rocket scientist to see through this issue. He needs to decide what is more important, your relationship or the attention he is receiving from this new women. He is allowing himself to be lead by lust and is probably cheating on you or very close to doing so. Be good to yourself, make him make a choice. And if he is not willing to put your feelings in front of this relationship. You need to move on and find someone that thinks enough of you not to hurt you. Good luck and God bless****
2006-12-27 09:34:05 · answer #5 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no it's not...
why not try to...
talk to your guy and tell him how uncomfortable you are with their "closeness" and see what he does about it..
but if nothing changes and they still are that "close", it's time to talk to the girl. you have all the right, as the GIRLFRIEND, to confront someone you think might get in the way of your relationship. ask her what's going on between the two of them and tell her you don't feel good about it.. (note: befriend her before doing that. be very friendly so as not to make her think you're interrogating her)
the catch: if you're prettier and smarter than her, you don't have to be insecure. let your boyfriend decide whether he'd go for someone *less pretty, smart etc.* than you...
=)
2006-12-27 09:05:33 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No your not wrong to feel this way. 3-4 times a week plus seeing her at work is alot. He's obviously making lots of time available to her. Its probably feeding his ego that she likes him and he's enjoying the attention. It seems to me that there may be something more than friendship going on.
2006-12-27 09:02:16 · answer #7 · answered by denico91 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think that It's natural to be feeling jealous. But don't let it consume you especially if he honestly isn't interested in an intimate relationship with her. Perhaps you need one of those dreaded heart-to-heart chats. . . The "Where do we stand" or even more so "Where does she stand" Just if you do though, try to not be overly confronting of him, because it will simply cause him to close up and not want to talk at all
2006-12-27 09:04:43 · answer #8 · answered by Matt 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no you're not wrong to feel jealous. this is obviously too close, too close for comfort. they act as if THEY were together. i say you do something about it! he seems to hang around her more than with you? do something!
2006-12-27 09:08:53 · answer #9 · answered by T-NEE 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are wrong. It is natural feeling.
Try to know more about their relation not to depend on what he says.
2006-12-27 11:59:45 · answer #10 · answered by aahamed24 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋