He has always been so good to me...but does tend to look at the negative too much in everything...very critical of other people but never me..I was his princess..and now, 10 mo's later, he had started to be very critical of such petty little things..the dishes, being late for something, predicting that I won't get something I have planned accomplished..or why didn't I finish something I started? I know this is a controlling behavior, and he knows without a doubt that I am not a woman who can be controlled by a man or anyone else for that matter..I am very independent and don't like being told what to do...He has been told this from day 1. He isn't critical in a cruel way...just in conversation he will make smart remarks about these petty little things that I take as being critical and hurtful...then he says :Hunni...I'm just joking around with you..can't you take a joke"? Ummm..don't think you are funny..so stop please...been 2 mos. and it just continues..why won't he just stop it?
2006-12-27 00:21:32 · 8 answers · asked by buggie 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He is getting comfortable with you, and his true personality is finally showing. When your first dating someone, its important that they like you so you show them your best side, and you watch your tongue. As time goes by, you become more confidant that the person likes you, so in turn you lower your guard and show more of your true personality, and you quit watching your tongue. It looks like your boyfriend is a smart-*** at heart, and you'll either have to develop a thicker skin and laugh off his snide remarks, or leave him and get someone with a less acidic personality.I don't think that he really perceives you as an incompetent person, but he likes to have the last word in things and be the man of the house. Sounds annoying, but if you really love him I guess you could adjust, but that smart mouth syndrome is nearly impossible to break from someone, trust me.
2006-12-27 00:39:03 · answer #1 · answered by Rockland 2 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I understand all to well. I am one of those people, and yes I am controlling I try not to be but it is hard for me. He is probably somewhat of a perfectionist and he will have to own up to the fact before he can make changes. I think the only way change will come is when he can see that it is hurting you. What you need to do is talk to him in a non-confrontational tone, (and that part is very important), let him know that this effects you emotionally and he is beating you down. He is spending time being critical of you because it prevents him from focusing on any of his character flaws. Tell him that if he wants you to stop procrastinating then it would help if he supported you. Hang in there, if you guys can get a flow going on this it could prove to be a beautiful relationship....Good Luck!
2006-12-27 08:35:03 · answer #2 · answered by stacey h 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It seems that now that he feels very comfortable with you and his true self is coming forth. I would end the relationship if he did not get some counseling to deal with his inadequacies. There is something within himself that he is lacking that makes him look at every ones faults and not his own. As though he is projecting them onto others. God bless****
2006-12-27 08:26:56 · answer #3 · answered by ? 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is insecure of your independence. He has low self worth of himself and wants to make you feel bad so he can feel better. I don't know if it will get better. I dated a man for 3 years that did that--I don't think it ever got better. He just got worse.
2006-12-27 08:30:55 · answer #4 · answered by intewonfan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my friends ex was like this it turned out he wanted her to be his wife. he wanted to correct stuff he didnt think would make a good wife and wanted her to change them before her before he proposed? not that this is your situation but something to think about....no matter how many times he says hes joking, there is some true feeling behind every joke, so that joking thing is probably crap.
2006-12-27 08:28:45 · answer #5 · answered by jean grey 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey Gurl,
Some guys dont know how to show thier feelings.. and be sweet .. and romantic.... their for -they show there love or feelings in a harm way.. not meaning to hurt bt its a natural guy thing
2006-12-27 08:26:50 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
perhaps subconsciously he's trying to break up with you but since he's a coward.. he's going to make your life miserable enough that YOU"LL break up with him.
Move on to someone who'll treat you with respect... no one deserves to be treated like he's treating you.
2006-12-27 08:27:50 · answer #7 · answered by tampico 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is getting bored with the relationship
2006-12-27 08:25:28 · answer #8 · answered by barb 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋