Forgive, or not to forgive?

Question

Can a man forgive a womans moment of maddness, or weakness, call it what you will it boils down to cheating with another man?.....would it make the situation easier if the woman cheated with another woman or not?.....just curious how men would respond to this question?

Answer 1

I personally think someone who cheats is a very confused individual......Someone who cheats I believe is looking for something in themselves that is lost,,,,it is not always about sex,,,maybe it is a desire, or longing, or or a lack of something inside themselves,,,,,I don't see how man or woman,,,,could forgive a persone who cheats,,,,when you take vows to someone that you love,,,,,,if it is real love,,,,why would you want to hurt them,,,,make them sad,,,,lie,,,,decieve,,,,plot and plan,,,,and then turn around and ask for forgiveness,,,,,kind of defeats the whole purpose of cheating doesn't it,,,,,??????,,,,, We only do what we want to do,,,,we are all capable of making our own decisions,,,without being forced,,,,and in the end we chose to lay down with another,,,and do the deed,,,,and all the while,,, our loved ones are at home waitng on us,,,,our dinner is getting cold,,,and the kids are in the bed,,,and we are alone watching TV,,,and watching a movie on life-time,,,wishing our relationship was just like the one on TV,,,,,Bull*hi***t!!!!!!

I think that if a person is concious and makes the decision to disrespect not only themselves but their partners,,,by the act of cheating,,,,and then turn around and say I'm sorry,,,I never meant to hurt you,,,,ya know maybe they never intended to hurt them,,,but they made the decision to take it a step further,,,and break a trust and loyality they had with their partner,,,,and that alone would make me say no,,,,I do not forgive you and that would be it,,,,,I am a firm believer in everyone getting a second chance,,,,but remember this people,,,,,If a person can cheat once on a spouse,,,or loved one,,, that means that the intent inside themselves is very strong,,,,they have contimplated this in their minds,,,and wondered about things of this nature,,,and if they can get the balls to do this once,,,,without regards to your feelings,,,they can do it twice,,,,,



A person will only do to you what you let them do,,,so If you take them back with the knowledge that they have cheated once,,,,and they admitted it to you and you forgive them,,,,Who's fault is it next time,,,,theirs for being a cheater,,,or your's for knowingly taking them back after them doing such a terrible thing,,,and begging your forgiveness?????????That is a question that many people ponder over on here,,,,and it makes sense if you think about it ,,,, really,,,

I think I would say no,,,,no maybe's or hesitations,,,,,ONCE A CHEATER,,,ALWAYS A CHEATER,,,,IF YOU OPEN YOURSELF UP FOR DRAMA,,,,AND SHOW THE PERSON THAT EVEN THOUGH YOU SCREWED ME OVER,,,I STILL LOVE YOU AND WANT AND NEED YOU BLAH BLAH BLAH,,,,WHY SHOULD THEY BE SORRY,,,,THEY SAY OJ KILLED NICOLE,,,AND I'M SURE HE DID LOVE HER,,,,BUT SHE AND HE CONTINUED TO STAY IN A MARRIAGE THAT WASN'T STABLE,,,AND LOOK AT THE OUTCOME,,,,NOT GOOD....ALL BECAUSE OF THE WORDS,,,,,"i'm sorry"!!!!!


NOT FOR ME,,,,,IF A PERSON TRULY LOVES THE ONE THEIR WITH,,,THEY DON'T NEED THE COMFORT FROM ANOTHER,,,THEY SHOULD HAVE ALL THEY NEED WITH THE ONE THAT THEY ARE WITH,,,,,,that is the difference between love and infatuation,,,,,

thanks for listening to me vent,,,,and answer,,,,,

good luck to you all and I hope none of you are ever cheated on,,,,it took me 10 years to JUST SAY "NO" AND TO WALK AWAY FROM HIM AND OUR MARRIAGE,,,,AND I AM A BETTER PERSON BECAUSE OF IT,,,,


THANKS,,,,


DAPHNE

Answer 2

Forgiveness is one thing, and one does it for oneself, not the other person. Yes, one should forgive. But trust has been ruptured, and once that has happened, there is little that can be done to heal it. The one who has broken trust has to realize that there are consequences of his/her actions with or without forgiveness. Forgiveness is not a cosmetic or panacea, and as I said, it benefits the forgiver, not the forgiven. If we all realized how delicate and valuable trust is in a relationship, we would be stronger than the greatest moment of weakness. As for the other part of the question, it makes no difference whether it's a man or a woman.

Answer 3

Cheating is cheating and it does not matter if with a man or a woman but a man can forgive a woman as long as she admits her wrong doing and the fact that she will not do it again, but the man will not forgive again if she breaches her promise and cheats again.

Answer 4

Once love is strong enough, it can forgive anything. However, to the other question, cheating is cheating although the concept of what is cheating may vary from person to person.

Cheating with man woman or animal is still cheating!!!

If my fiance even CONSIDERS being sexually with another woman I would find it unfaithful. It may seem extreme but I fully believe that one day he may give in to temptation.

Love is supposed to be blind (which I'm not) but not STUPID!!

Answer 5

If it's a moment of weakness and the woman is sincerely apologetic, then i think it's easier to forgive. but if the cheating persists, be it with a man or a woman, then it becomes more and more difficult to forgive...

Answer 6

Once a cheat. Can change.
Twice a cheat. Always a cheat.
Funny thing, if the woman cheated with another woman and we were just dating I'd probably be ok with it but if we were married I'd say no way.

Answer 7

It depends on the situation, and no, it wouldn't matter to me if it was another woman or a man. I'd feel equally as betrayed and pissed.

I might forgive it though, like I said, it would depend on how much I invested into the relationship beforehand, and whether she was able to convince me that it wouldn't happen again.

And like another guy said, I might forgive, but I'd never forget.

Answer 8

it all depends on how your relationship is when you cheat. If there are no problems and you do it, then no you shouldnt be forgiven, but if you are going through a rough time in your relationship, then yes sometimes it does you good to see what you are missing on the outside world, but he should realise that you would never have strayed if your relationship was 100% ok in the first place -so yes he should forgive you in this instance.

Answer 9

Since I'm Catholic I'll answer this way....we are taught to forgive but there's nothing that tells us we must forget. I had this happen in my marriage. My ex-wife cheated but I was willing to stuck it out. It came down to the fact I could never trust her again. Nothing she could do seemed to wipe that slate clean. But then again, she never really tried either.

Answer 10

if i caught my girlfriend cheating with another man i'd definitely hate her but she's my gal and i love her so most likely i can forgive her, well that's if she asks for forgiveness. i'll try. i can't go on without her. but if i found her cheating with another gal, it makes everything wrong. it's a gal for crying out loud.