Particularly simple stupid ones like..... What do you do if you find a trumpet in you garden?... Root-it-oot! Or the ones with a wee bit of physical input like... how does an elephant ask for a bun?
Cheers.
2006-12-26 23:07:55 · 15 answers · asked by kennyd_2000 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
The only good ones I know are (believe it or not) blonde jokes. No offense, I didn't come up w/ them:
.A blonde walks into a library and strolls up to the front desk. She adresses the librarian- "Could I have a small order of french fries, a medium coke, and a hamburger, please?" {Hey, at least she has manners.} The librarian has a puzzled look on her face. The blonde repeats the question again. Then, the librarian tells her: "Dear, this is a library." The blonde apologizes, then whispers her order again. {Cos you're supposed to whisper in the library ;) }
2006-12-26 23:17:04 · answer #1 · answered by Melissa Zondervan 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A short-sighted whale fell in love with a submarine, and every time it fired a a torpedo the whale handed out cigars
2006-12-27 10:21:53 · answer #2 · answered by edwin4208 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How about this one:
Chinese walks into a bar in America late one night and he saw Steven Spielberg. As he was a great fan of his movies, he rushes over to him, and asks for his autograph.
Instead, Spielberg gives him a slap and says, "You Chinese people bombed our Pearl Harbor , get outta here." The astonished Chinese man replied, "It was not the Chinese who bombed your Pearl Harbor , it was the Japanese". "Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese, you're all the same," replied Spielberg.
In return, the Chinese gives Spielberg a slap and says, "You sank the Titanic, my forefathers were on that ship." Shocked, Spielberg replies, "It was the iceberg that sank the ship, not me." The Chinese replies, "Iceberg, Spielberg, Carlsberg, you're all the same."
2006-12-27 07:25:04 · answer #3 · answered by Arnoux 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
question : there are 10 lizards on the ceiling. 1 did a backflip. how many lizards are left?
answer : none. 1 fell when it did the backflip. the other 9 clapped.
what is the motto of soldiers?
NO PAIN, NO GAIN!
what is the motto of policemen?
NO GUTS, NO GLORY!
what is the motto of security guards?
NO I.D., NO ENTRY!
2006-12-27 07:28:08 · answer #4 · answered by Michelle 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
An old lady named miss evans was in the doctors everyday with one thing or another, the doc was fed up of her wasting his time, still day after day year after year she turned up in the surgery.
then sadly the doctor died and was buried in the local graveyard, the week after the old lady died and was buried next to him.
knock knock knock the doc heard on his coffin, its me miss evans, what the hell is it now? I think i've got worms she whispered
2006-12-27 09:33:18 · answer #5 · answered by spiritania 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Quite a few Mummy,mummy jokes...
Mummy mummy....what's for dinner? Shut up and get back in the oven.
MM...what's a lesbian?......Ask your father..She'll know.
MM..can I lick the bowl?....No pull the chain.
MM..I hate grandad's guts...Well leave him on the side of your plate.
MM..What's a vampire?...Shut up and eat your soup before it clots.
MM..Why do I keep turning round and round? ...Shut up or I'll nail the other foot to the floor.
MM..I don't think my egg is fresh....Yes it is eat it up!..Maaam...Can I leave the beak?
2006-12-27 09:00:11 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
umm iv just heard a christmasey one but its not very good.
A man walks in a doctors and says to the doctor 'iv got a mince pie up my bum' and the doctor replys 'hang on iv got some cream for that'
2006-12-27 07:11:40 · answer #7 · answered by ♥Natalie♥ 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What do you call a man with an hotel on his head?
Norman Tebbitt
2006-12-27 07:17:16 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
did you hear abou the guy who got his whole left side torn off?
he's all right now.
2006-12-27 07:10:53 · answer #9 · answered by alter ego 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dirty joke - Van fell in the mud.!!!
2006-12-27 07:19:49 · answer #10 · answered by JAM123 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋