I have a problem as follows - This will be my boyfriend and i's first new year together and i presumed we'd be spending hogmannay together. He text me last night to say that he'll see me "after the new year". He lives about 40 miles away from me and is spending it with his mates as usual like every year. I'm a bit upset as this is our first chance to spend new year together as last year i wasn't here (i lived 200 miles away). So, do i let rip that i'm unhappy, do i tell him i went out and had a great time, or do i tell him i stayed in the house on my own crying with a bottle of wine? He's all for me going out and having fun, so if i tell him i did this, he'll be really happy. I feel like i want to make him feel guilty, but by telling him i stayed in on my own he'll think i'm a billy-no mates...... What would you do? Thanks!
2006-12-26 22:38:42 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Be honest with him. Who wouldn't want to bring in the New Year with the person they cared about. Especially since it's your first New Years living in the same area. I think you should tell him, not to make him guilty but to let him know you really would like to spend the holiday with him.
2006-12-26 22:43:38 · answer #1 · answered by Stephanie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Simple. Tell him what you think about the situation. Tell him how you feel. Tell him why. Encourage him to do the same. Be honest.
You're not trying to score points here - love isn't a game. You're trying to understand one another. So communicate.
Do the same with other issues, not just with this one. The more you do it the less stress there will be in your relationship and the more you'll understand one another. The more you understand one another the better equipped you'll both be to know if this is The relationship.
Of course, don't expect full answers to all your questions, especially those about feelings, straight away. And don't expect him to understand or fully appreciate everything that you tell him. Boys just don't think in the same way as girls. But be open and honest. And communicate. Communication is the key.
2006-12-27 08:14:22 · answer #2 · answered by Miss Nomer 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well...put urself in his position at the moment
Ur a Woman. You Should either spend ur new year with ur friends too..but if u jus want to spend it wif ur love then..i guess
well how long has he been frends wif his mates? he does it every new year rite?
well y not go up there wif him and spend the new year wif him?
its not tht hard if u WANT somthin rite?
Thers always another way around jealousy or other things...u jus need to think more clearly
so lyk..just Go up there and spend the time wif him huh or talk to him bout it..make sure u say the right words(the right words are from the lovers mouth which is u)
2006-12-27 06:46:59 · answer #3 · answered by Val 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with Stephanie, tell him you thought you'd spend the new year together as that would of made you the happiest, being together.. listen to his response maybe he does have work commitments or an honest explanation..so if you can't be together that night then you can tell him that he has to make it up to you, and that can also be heaps of fun :) by the way 40 miles isn't far, my boyfriend will be driving 8 hours to get to me as i went to him for christmas. So if it matters people make the effort...
2006-12-27 06:53:11 · answer #4 · answered by peee x 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
"see you in the new year" sounds like he is either a) not that bothered about you or b) a typical bloke and doesn't realise it should be a special time to be together (most likely option).
You need to tell him you would have liked to have spent the evening together (that will make him feel a bit guilty, but he will also make a mental note to spend the evening together in future), but you will go out with your mates instead (your no billy no mates!).
Tell him he will have to make it up to you with a nice night/meal out.
Good luck
2006-12-27 06:48:05 · answer #5 · answered by missluly 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Actually, I'm kind of in the same situation as your boyfriend - I'm supposed to spend New Year with frineds, but they live at the other end of the country. The reason I'm thinking about getting out of it, and probably your boyfriend is the same, is that it's an awfuly long way to go for one night, all that travel is exhausting, and if has to start work on the 2nd like me, he's gonna be driving back with a hangover. I wouldn't take it as a bad sign, itt's just 40 miles is a bloody long way!
2006-12-27 06:42:57 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Well you could either tell him your not happy that you are not spending new year together or you could just go out with your friends and not let it bother you. New Year is only another day and you will have plenty of time to go out together at other times.
2006-12-27 10:05:51 · answer #7 · answered by emmalp75 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should go out and have fun with your friends, whatever makes you happy. He may just not want to travel. Let him know that you will miss him dearly, but you hope he has fun too, and you will see him after the new year. I guarantee you that if you go out and have a blast, he will want to know everything you done, and it will bother him more that you can do that, as opposed to you sitting at home, and doing nothing. Good Luck.
2006-12-27 09:01:03 · answer #8 · answered by In love with Life 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd hogmannay him alright! Invite him over to see you the next day while he's still got a raging hangover, then smash a bottle of whiskey (or his favourite alcoholic beveridge) over his head. I'd give him a hogmannay to remember if i was you, lol! Seriously - he can see his mates anytime, new year is special and should be spent with you if he cares about you. 40 miles is absolutely nothing.
2006-12-27 06:56:45 · answer #9 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Alright,this is what I would do... well first of all tell him that you'd like to spend it with him but if he wants to go with his mates you understand. Don't make a huge drama if he picks his mates because he's a bloke and since when do they think straight?! Anyways, you should tell him but not get angry because you don't want him going away thinking "oh physco girlfriend!" You want him braggin to his mates about you saying how your great and trusty...
2006-12-27 06:45:37 · answer #10 · answered by missy2589 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋