What can i do about my ex partners new girlfriend being diffcult over contact with my son?

Question

My sons dad and I seperated and have a contact order in place. My son wanted me to call him the weekend he was at his dads. However, he started crying and asked me to pick him up. I obviously could not as it was not my wekend, however instead of trying to calm my son down my ex partners new girlfriend started screaming in the back ground saying get that ***** of the phone it is out of order her ringing, I am not having her upset him like this - A better resopnse would have been for her to say look I know you are missing your mummy but you will see her soon or something like that. Can I do anything about her as it is not the first time she has been stupid like this and it is not healthy for my son. I do not call all the time only when he has asked me to. He is only 4.

Answer 1

i no how you feel ive been here before i confronted my exs gf and told her not to get involved its not her place and if your ex is doing as hes toild then whats that say about his relationship with his son really!!!

Answer 2

This needs to be sorted out for your sons sake and I would suggest a chat with your ex WITHOUT his girlfriend being around. Keep it calm and explain that your son is getting upset with the situation and things need to be kept open where he can ring either of you whenever he wants as he needs to feel secure.
Sometimes it is hard for adults to realise what something like splitting up does to a child and I think it is good to put yourself in his shoes for a while. He relies on you both for love and support and so living in 2 different houses is strange and probably worries and frightens him.
If you dont get anywhere with your ex ( although if he loves his son he has to be prepared to do whatever it takes to make his son feel safe and secure in this new situation! ) then you need to take it further and perhaps revisit the order so your ex only gets access when his girlfriend is not around at least until your son feels happier with the situation.

I hope this helps as I really feel for you. It is hard enough on yourself when you split from a partner even if it was your decision and it must be breaking your heart to see your son upset.

Good luck and I wish you all the best.

Answer 3

Talk to him and let him know next he brings your son home, that you dont care for the way she is talking to your son. use the word "our" son talk to him in a calm way, so he doesnt think you attacking his g/f. Make it clear this goes for any one that talks to your "our" son in a rude way. Make it clear also that his is still small and no one has the right to talk to any one that way, young or old. Ask him how he would feel knowing that some other guy, that you might one day date was to speak to your "our" son in that manner. Then see just what he says, tell him your "son" will be around the 2 of you many years to come, and ask if he can say that about her. And that no matter who you both end up with he will and Should aways come frist, even if you both have more children with diffrent partners. He will always be the first born to both of you.....He didnt ask for the break up, nore did he ask to be born and she has no right to let her anger out on a harmless child, just because she is mad that her new b/f come with child.She should have thought of that before she agreed to date a guy with a child, knowing theres an ex at the other end of the child. Good Luck and keep us posted.

Answer 4

Well sorry and all that if my ex husbands girlfriend/wife spoke my children like that i would have been straight in the car and collected my children.

Access isn't a weekend of misery!

Focus meetings can sort this out with you, him and the bird in the same room, i have tried this but the ex husband refused to go and just did the complete opposite of everything i ever requested. I also disapproved of my children spending access weekends down the pub, pubs are adults not children!

Back to your solicitor i'm afraid, you are the custodial parent i assume.

One person above has said talk to your ex without the girlfriend about, i know for a fact this isn't always possible, i tried this but she always had to put her 2 penniesworth in on situations that had nothing to do her. She was jealous, i think she thought i still wanted him, errrr she couldn't have bee further from the truth!!

View my 360, it's enlightening!

Answer 5

What kind of father would let his girlfriend speak to his child like that? You need to have a serious talk with him so he can get his priorities in order. Tell him that you have no problem with your son seeing him but his girlfriend has to butt the f**k out. I would never allow my children to be spoken to like that by their step mother ( not that she would ). If it happens again go straight over there, pick him up and take him home, then tell him he can see his son when he wants to as long as she is not around him. If he is any kind of father he will put his son first and not see his girlfriend on the weekends he has him. Good luck, DON'T let this carry on.

Answer 6

The girlfriend shouldn't have cussed but she was defending your son. You have had your little boy for four years and know how to deal with him. The girlfriend is having to learn everything that you learned in four years right this minute.

Its easy to justify the calls by saying your son wanted you to call but if he isn't in any physical danger you need to step out of the picture. Time he spends at his fathers house should be their time. You should have told your son this when he asked you to call him.

I would talk to the Ex and tell him of your concerns. It's best get to the stage where you can communicate with one another for the sake of your son. Good luck.

Answer 7

how dare she..no u cant stop ur little boy seeing his dad,so i take my hat off to you on that score coz u have still let him have contact but how dare the gfr.speak to your son in this way id smash her face in..it seems like she resents him spending time with his dad which is childish..cant your ex say something to her or the only other way and i dont totally agree with this method coz dads should have contact no matter wot,is to say that you dont want your son staying in such a hostile environment so until she grows up you can only c your son on your own its not a nice way to do it but your son comes first and if the gfr. cant accept his son then she should not b in a relationship with a man who has 1 coz he came as a package when they met and your ex should tell her that

Answer 8

Please talk to a lawyer. This doesn't sound good. As you say its effecting your son. Have the lawyer write a letter to your ex and partner reflecting your concern at the girlfriends behaviour. Yes it will get an angry response but there will also be a written record of your concerns. You need to play this smart with out letting you emotions rule.

Answer 9

You really need to speak to your ex partner about this, surely he cant allow her to speak like that about you in front of your son.As you say your son is only 4 and he doesnt understand all the legalities around access and whos weekend it is to have him.

Answer 10

i dont agree with violence but im afraid id have to kick her right in the ***,who the hell does she think she is AND where was your x when she was acting like a total idiot?
I would not accept anyone talking to or around my child like that,especially as he's only 4,poor little thing.
Tell your x you want to see him without his girl and tell him your concerns,take your boy with you and make sure your x see's the impact her behaviour is having on your child.
If all else fails giz an email and we'll both go round there and see how big she is with adults,cheeky cow.

Answer 11

Sounds like shes a really stupid B***h, and needs a good slap!!

Your ex partner should have got involved and put his girlfriend in her place, after all you are the boys mother!!!