In advance I want to forgive this guy but I'm finding it very hard to let him know how he can be forgiven because I don't know how I can... I was 'seeing' a guy but it wasn't exclusive. I'd been out with him and his friends however and been held to the promise that I would make them my friends too. On one night he had called and 1) said I love you 2) invited my friend and I to an afterparty during which he and my friend went into another room and started making out naked. They claimed no memory of it in the morning. Obviously I needed a lot of space however and avoided them for a few days. When he finally expalined he apologised for a very drunken mistake. After spending 3 hours hanging out together just talking etc he asks if it would be ok if he kept sleeping with my friend. I obviously freaked out and he said he didn't realise she was a close friend. I need to 1) make it clear how wrong this is and how he needs to make it up... but I want to forgive him... and I don't know how to...
2006-12-26 21:06:47 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You cannot forgive someone for doing that to you, how can you trust a man for sleeping with his friend, you need to move on and find someone who will respect you. How can he even have the cheek to ask you if it's ok to sleep with the friend when you are supposed to be together.
2006-12-27 03:59:26 · answer #1 · answered by emmalp75 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think learning how to forgive him is the issue here. The reason you are finding it hard to forget this and move on is because the problem hasn't been resolved. Its obvious to me that you like this guy very much and that you agreed to have an in-exclusive relationship to keep him happy. You are clearly not happy with this arrangement but you want to be happy with it because you want to keep seeing this guy. That's why you want to forgive him but you can't. You need to admit this to yourself. If you want to carry on seeing this guy you need to lay out some clear boundaries. I advise you have a long chat with him and tell him that if he loves you and wants to be with you then you want things to be 100% exclusive - no "drunken mistakes". If he isn't happy with this then you know he doesn't love you and lets face it, you're wasting your time with a guy who selfishly wants the best of both worlds - the security of a "girlfriend" but the ability to sleep with whoever he wants whenever he wants. If he is happy with the arrangement then you have got your man and I imagine forgiving him will become much easier because you know his feelings for you are genuine. Hope this helps.
2006-12-26 21:34:28 · answer #2 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't give that two timing looser and player the time. He's playing you and your friend. He got what he wanted from her and he's after you for the same thing. Do you really want this guy in your pants? I don't think so. Move on and tell your friend to move on too. I gurantee you're not the first girls he's done this too. Run from him like your lives depend on it. They very well could depend on it. Get tested too for std's this guy needs help and he doesn't deserve girls like you or your friend. move on. Forgive? HA. More like just forget it and let it go. Time will heal all that.
2006-12-26 21:18:01 · answer #3 · answered by dave_83501 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forgive the person but not the act. Please don't place yourself in the same situation again. The best predictor of future behaviour is past behaviour. Being drunk is no excuse. I would suggest a platonic friendship is the only way to go with this guy, any more than that and you'll be hurt again!
2006-12-26 21:16:45 · answer #4 · answered by The Guru 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
are you completly off your head??? You cant seriously be considering forgiving him for this. he made out with your friend while 'naked' and afterwards he asked if it was ok to sleep with your friend? im really not getting how you would even considering letting either of these two shitheads be part of your life. Stop contact with both of them right now. Have some respect for yourself girl, have nothing more to do with them
2006-12-26 21:15:30 · answer #5 · answered by Delete 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I'm not going to read your BS. Don't forgive. It is easier on you and everyone else on this board if you don't. There is just too many of you out here crying about these bf. Just let them go. Get a new one. That is what they want. This guy is tired of you. I'm sure of it. He has climbed mountain and he is looking for a new mountain.
2006-12-26 21:10:23 · answer #6 · answered by skooter 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
why forgive him?! he sounds like scum who says those 3 magic words and then is out for what he can get!!
ur friend does not sound like a friend
dump them both and find someone worthy of you
maybe have a hunt for some self-respect too!
2006-12-26 21:29:30 · answer #7 · answered by keeley 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't want an open relationship where both of you can go with other people then i suggest leaving him and finding someone else! If you try to make him just stick with you i'm afraid it seems he won't, he seems pretty eager to sleep around!
2006-12-26 21:12:41 · answer #8 · answered by interestiblez 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't forgive him honey,
Get someone who will value you,
Don't make friends with his friend, cos they are his friends
Make your own and a guy will value that.
Read 'why men love bitches'
You will get a guy eating out of your hand- It will change your outlook.
2006-12-26 21:16:54 · answer #9 · answered by Elle J Morgan 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
he just wants to have fun. He is using you just as an emotional support. He doesn't respect your feelings. Move on .... There are many fish in the pond. I know it's easier said then done but you'll be glad you did.
2006-12-26 21:12:18 · answer #10 · answered by ? 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋