I was with this man for 5 years. I thought we were in love. THOUGHT. I felt it, I didn't want anyone else and was ready to settle down... He asked me to marry him, I accapted and he called one month before our wedding date and broke it off because his life was downhill and he was deppressed. So I let him, but was sad, yet undersanding... Come to find out 3 months later, his mother told me he was dating someone else and planning a wedding with her too! THEN, he stops talking to me and dissappears... He calls me out of the blue crying about how he loves me and my dauther and misses us... He promises to make it all better that he can change and loves me only. I still answer the phone when he calls and talk to him and listen... I feel something for him still and I don't understand what I'm doing by keeping him in my life when I feel he will just break my heart again... I don't know if I should believe him or distrust him and move on...Help! I'm lost and I feel like a ship on the sea!
2006-12-26 21:03:49 · 17 answers · asked by DevilsAngel 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Move on...
2006-12-26 21:05:42 · answer #1 · answered by ABBYsMom 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Once a cheater is not always a cheater, as someone said before. None of us know how he is, so you are the final deciding factor to determine if he is sincere or not. I highly suggest you make him come clean with everything he has done, HOWEVER bad it may be. If he cant do that, or you feel he isnt being honest with you...choose what to do. We cant really decide for you when its someone that has that big of a part in your life. Anything we say is pretty superficial since we only see the small paragraph you wrote...
Be careful, and take it slow. Take a break if you have too - see how he reacts? If he means what he is saying he should show it.
My girlfriends grandparents are a good example of this situation (sorta :D): He went overseas because he was in the military and he slept with a lot of different women. The wife found out and left him, but they finally got back together. They have been together for 20+ years? I think..
Anyway, it CAN work out, but be careful and use your best judgement. Good luck.
2006-12-26 21:15:36 · answer #2 · answered by Paul N 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well to be honest with you hun, It may hurt, but let him go. He had something great (you) THOUGHT he found something better and left you behind, found out it didn't work, so is running back to you like you are Number 2. And if I were you I would want to be number 1 in my mans life. And if you do not want you or your daughters heart broke again, then leave him and move on, and don't let him play you like a fool. After all he was the fool that put you second. He just does not know what he is missing!!
2006-12-26 21:10:17 · answer #3 · answered by tuffchevy86 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm very sorry to hear that. I don't say this lightly, but he sounds like he doesn't know what he wants and you should let go. I know the 5 year thing and it hurts to let someone you wanted to marry go, but it's for the best, you know? I would venture a guess that if you leave, he'll blame you for his pain and call you more, and it would require you being strong, not just for you but your daughter. If you stay with him, I don't know but I wouldn't imagine him getting better, I think he might make life interesting in a bad way and blame you. I would bet money he'd cheat on you again and blame you for driving him away if you got back with him. I don't like to generalize, but the one type that never changes (in my experience with my ex as well as friends who were like this) is the insecure/depressed types who always cheated on their partners who cared the world for them and then blamed their partner or something else. If you're willing to put off a wedding to a man you love, I'd say that's a pretty stand up thing to do, and a stand up woman like you CAN do better. Without knowing a lot about your situation, I would make a guess that his saying that he missed your daughter was supposed to be a tug on your heart strings so you'd think "Oh, he cares for me and my daughter!"; I don't know for sure, but it sounds like a cheap trick to come home. Good luck, and I hope I've helped.
2006-12-26 21:15:40 · answer #4 · answered by That Guy! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear lost at sea:
Find another harbor to dock in.
By the way, he's calling that other chick too, begging her to take him back. He's also got a third chick you don't know about. Don't stick around to find out. Once a man screws you over, he knows he can keep doing it and getting away with it. Unless you stop him.
If you want to help him, send the message that he has to learn from the mistakes he made with you so that his next relationship will be better.
2006-12-26 21:11:52 · answer #5 · answered by tbonz 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you deserve all that torturing from him. You should get another man who knows/meets ur worth. If he's dating another woman without telling you. There's no need for you to do extra things like trying to talk..it up with him. The saddest part is if you had a daughter with him. To prevent disfunctional familiy. Its better that you try work stuff out. Think for your daughter also. I bet she's still young.
2006-12-26 21:13:02 · answer #6 · answered by Caitlynn L 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
KEY WORD: PLAYER
This guy played you for 5 long years. Got you committed, and when that challenge was completed, he left.
Tried to get another girl caught up and when she found out about it, she dumped him. Then he tries to slither back up with you, because he know you're under his thumb, emotionally.
Anyone who cowardly backs out of his own proposal and disappears DOES NOT HAVE PERMISSION BACK INTO YOUR LIFE. His feelings are volatile and unpredictable.
He's like a defective maxi pad. Girl just harmful. No dice. Find another guy friend, quick before he contacts you.
2006-12-26 21:16:36 · answer #7 · answered by L. F 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cut your losses with him and move on. He's an emotional roller coaster and you don't need the added drama in you or your daughter's lives right now. Find a real man who will settle for you and only you. He's a player and you know it. Move on.
2006-12-26 21:12:23 · answer #8 · answered by dave_83501 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
seeing as he lied its only really up to you if you want to take him back. if you feal this is really worth it then go but cant have the thougth of being hurt again dont do it youll have ur daugther and will be better off if you see its not meant to be do it for your daugther and move on if not then talk to ur daugther and ask if she likes him then just follow ur heart.
2006-12-26 21:11:50 · answer #9 · answered by KIT TY 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get rid of him, I know it hurts. Been there done that. There are better fish in the sea. Once a cheater always a cheater.
2006-12-26 21:10:50 · answer #10 · answered by Jen 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i am very sorry for you, i know that the betraying is very painful espically if it comes from the one we loves, my advise to you is to follow your feelings, if you feel that it was one time and never repeat it again stay with him but if you choose to stay be careful for a while until you trust him again and if your felling told you that he is a bad person please move on
2006-12-26 21:16:15 · answer #11 · answered by pussycat 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋