A 53 yr old grandmother gained custody of her grandson, when her daughter (20 yrs old) died, suddenly, in a car accident. There were other capable family members who would have taken the boy in (he was 3 when it happened). But the grandmother is on disability, and she's not very bright (when asked what 'country' she lived in, one time, she didn't know)....but I worry that this woman is not fit to raise this child, because she's not very supportive of what he needs. She yells at him and does not have a civil conversation with him. She only knows how to bark commands at this poor kid, and even Social Services is blind to this, and rather than go through the paperwork in having a stable family take him in, they passed the boy onto her.
I don't feel comfortable with him living there, because he's making his own decisions, and taking off (he's 6 yrs old now), and he doesn't listen very well, and is always in trouble in school! Is it just me, or is the system failing this boy???
2006-12-26 20:36:52 · 9 answers · asked by argamedius 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
He also has ADHD and FASD....ugh...he was difficult to take care of, when we had him, but we put him on a routine and managed his diet (he cannot have high sugar quantities - which he now has a lot of, since living with his grandmother) and he was fine with us, but we were told that he needed to be with his grandmother...I was thinking more along the lines of what HIS best interest was, being that he needed that extra care and support.
2006-12-26 20:39:13 · update #1
Absolutely not. A child needs to be put in a stable environment with competent, responsible adults who will raise, care for and take care of the child and his/her needs, to be an important part of his/her society. A mentally challenged woman, I believe, would not be able to do this. However, if this is the only way, a social service agent needs to visit this person, question her and deem her fit or unfit for parenting, and take appropriate action. However, since they are blind to this, perhaps you need some video footage of life in the house, and use it as evidence in a legal battle.
2006-12-26 20:44:42 · answer #1 · answered by Felix 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Taking care of a child with a disability is hard work. The older the child gets the more out of control he can become. The grandmother is probably feeling stressed. I sure wouldn't want to be in grandmas shoes right now. Just think she will be raising this child until she is 68 years old.
I am going to assume that you are a family member because you stated that you had the boy for a while. If this assumption is correct why not offer to take the child for a few hours or over the weekend to give grandma a rest.
Just because Social Services granted grandma custody of the boy doesn't mean that other family member can't pitch in and help.
2006-12-27 05:05:47 · answer #2 · answered by marilynn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Social Services in all countries have a difficult and thankless task. They have my sympathy; There are problem families out there that you would not believe.
My own son is being raised by an alcoholic depressive and like your grandmother communicates by shouting.
The sole working principle for the Social Servives is : 'Whatever is in the best interests of the child'.
If you can demonstrate that it is better for the child to be raised elsewhere then you should present your case to Social Services.
Have a care and good luck. You are about to enter a minefield. And you dont get thanked for it either.
2006-12-27 04:51:03 · answer #3 · answered by philip_jones2003 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It has nothing to do with the person being mentally chalanged or not. Just because they are metally challanged does not mean that they dont know how to take care of people. Half of the people in this world yell at the kids, half of them dont even care for there kids. Im sure if the boy was in real danger child services would pull him out in no time. Also if hes doing bad in school, again child services would do something.
2006-12-27 13:37:00 · answer #4 · answered by Lo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know the situation must be incredibly frustrating, however don't give up. Offer to be a natural support for the Grandmother. She may realize she just can't handle it. She is most likely raising him the same way she raised her daughter. This is difficult for all parties involved. Just keep in contact with social services and stay in the little boys life.
2006-12-27 04:57:39 · answer #5 · answered by Loren T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep in contact with the social services agencies and maybe you can regain custody.
2006-12-27 04:46:38 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow
good luck and good bless this story is soo sad.
DOes the child have a bio dad around
try to see if he can help or possibly just have the courts to intervene...if he is on drugs or whatever, maybe you can bribe him
(ends justify the means)
2006-12-27 05:07:07 · answer #7 · answered by kissmymiddlefinger 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
poor child, i dont find his fault for his behaviour, it is the fault of his grand mom, but what can you do??? except trying to find help frm some social service people or asking some of his relatives to come forward for the help
2006-12-27 04:47:04 · answer #8 · answered by Richa 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HALF of the parents on this Earth, are not fit to raise a child!!!!
2006-12-27 04:39:56 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋