In my experience, I have been counted-out by a woman when she has to make a decision between the me or the guy that will treat her like dirt. Do nice guys really finish last? And Why?
2006-12-26 20:03:34 · 27 answers · asked by helo2k6 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If a woman thinks she can change the bad guy, wouldn't she just pick the nice guy in the first place?
2006-12-26 20:06:59 · update #1
Some of you have a misconception that I meant all woman, that's why I said most, then I also said "in my experience" - meaning, that the woman I have encountered.
Another thing, this question comes from a consistently reoccurring event, not just one. A lot of other guys can relate to me on this.
Lastly, "treat them badly" doesn't nesscarily mean, hitting or abusing, it can meaning lying or cheating too.
2006-12-26 20:14:12 · update #2
For those married woman, obviously you ended up where you were wanted to. Is there a chance some "nice guy" was looked past when you made the decision to get married. For all you know, in hindsight, your life might be 10 times better than with what you ended up with. That's why this question is in the "Dating & Singles" section, because the answers should be coming from singles and people who are dating. No offense intended, but you have to take a step backward, way back when you were dating to answer this question honestly.
As for the definition of "nice" the guy considers himself "nice" depending on the guy. His friends would also consider him nice even women consider him nice.
I'm not falling for that project guy, stuff. It nonsense. If the bad guy, needs work, the only way he's going to improve if he improves himself.
2006-12-26 20:25:43 · update #3
With ya on that one Sam. The greatest mystery of the universe if you ask me. All I have been able to come up with is they say they want a nice guy but enjoy the drama and heartache associated with an abusive relationship. Women seem to like suffering and despair in matters of the heart. That's why I have told several of my girlfriends (over the decades) that a certain friend isn't welcome any more because of the poor influence that particular friend has on her. Somehow, they become co-dependent on what's bad for them. It's strange how they think, I'll never figure it out. I had the same problem during high school. When I got out on my own, I stopped being accomodating and let them realize that I am not a free ride. I wasn't there to solve their problems or to be their sugar daddy, they had to be responsible for themselves. When they brought up the subject of having a life together I told every one of them that if they wanted to settle down they aren't going to be stay at home housewives getting fat and talking on the phone all day. They want it good, then they have to part of the effort. They don't like it, they can change the subject. Almost every time, they would leave and I knew then that I had averted disaster. Sure, it hurt sometimes, but I always get over it. Now, I am able to better enjoy my time with them. I'm single, 46, and don't have a worry in the world. I see guys stuck in some awful relationships and thank my lucky stars I didn't make the mistake of marriage when I had the opportunity. Why? Because I would have been a poor partner too for I was an active drug user for 32 years and a bad presence to be around. So, my advice would be to look at how you treat them and figure out what you feel is important to you. Be in the relationships for what you want. It's okay to be a little selfish, if you are constantly doing things for them to win them over, it will fail every time.
2006-12-26 20:23:38 · answer #1 · answered by Awesome Bill 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've often wondered the same about men! They love these controlling and high maintenance b*tches and leave the easy going, truly cool gals at the curb. I'll take a nice guy any day. My current boyfriend of 2 yrs is shorter than me, graying, balding, beer gut, dorky laugh.....but HEY he makes sure my glass is full, my feet are warm, my view isn't blocked, and alot of other things that will bore you.
Maybe jerks seem more cool or fun, whatever. Life is too short for that. Keep fighting the good fight, nice guys rule.
2006-12-27 04:18:24 · answer #2 · answered by Jenr R 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What might be considered as NICE to you, and NICE to the nice guy, might be two different things. And no all women don't always choose the Bad guy over the nice guy. I've been married for 20 yrs., and I personally like what I have. He may have not been considered nice to others, but he was to me! It isn't always about YOU, sometimes it is about what SHE wants!
2006-12-27 04:14:28 · answer #3 · answered by Ikeg 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"Most" women don't. But obviously some of the "women" that you go for do. They are emotionally and intellectually immature, and they don't know what they really want. They THINK they want "excitement" and "fun"...and they think a bad boy will provide that. And yes, many are naive (i.e. immature) and think they can change a guy. They simply don't know what really counts in a relationship...so why would you want a girl like that, anyway?
2006-12-27 04:13:11 · answer #4 · answered by wendy g 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even tho women like to be pursued by men some find the excitement of the man that is not catch-able to be a challenge.. seems "nice guys" are attracted to women who are attracted to men who are exactly like them.. thus the vicious circle of no one out of the 3 ending up "happy for a lifetime".
My question to you.... why do nice guys always seem to like "those kind of women"???
Actually your answer is found in my question.. (smiles)
2006-12-27 04:13:32 · answer #5 · answered by H.O.T. Dog 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ah, nice guys don't finish last. For some reason we take the pity cases other guys won't touch and mold them into something better, then they pick the trashy guys they wanted all along. There's plenty o' good women out there, just open your eyes!
2006-12-27 04:05:48 · answer #6 · answered by Che G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes I think it's true. I'm a nice guy and women always choose the guy that treats her like a piece of property and controls her over me. I wish I knew why women do that
2006-12-27 04:05:45 · answer #7 · answered by AL IS ON VACATION AND HAS NO PIC 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude, women like projects. Thats why they love those cooking shows and those home shows, IE... M. Stewart, Rachel Ray.
So they believe they can change the guy, they can find the diamond in the rough.
Not all guys finish last. Just keep your head up.
Me, my cynicism overtakes me at times, don't follow my lead in that.
2006-12-27 04:08:14 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why would you think such a horrible thing!?If a man I was commited to ever tried to hit me, I would report him and get the heck out of there!Whatever girls you were talking to must have been on crack or something, I'm sorry.Never think that one bad experience with a girl will put perspective on every other woman. That's stereotyping.
2006-12-27 04:08:14 · answer #9 · answered by anonymous 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes its true nice guys finish last ... women can never tell when a guy is treating her badly and wen they come across nice guys they think its too good to be true and let him go ... its just how it is oh and guys do the same as well
2006-12-27 04:14:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋