Can you choose who to fall in love with?

Answer 1

At one point you have choice and after that it is gone in the mist of love. When you start falling in love you have a choice to reject that feeling or accept, once accepted it is blindness all the way. Case at hand myself in June 2005 I never searched for love nor did I want a relationship I just wanted to help people. I would have presumed if I did have another relationship with a lady she would be at least 39, knew how to cook, have the children out the door or almost out the door. She would also have at least two years of college and her own job or career.
I connected with a lady overseas, never ever anticipated what would happen. I looked at her profile and said I did not meet her criteria I was way to old, but I told her she meet mine for a friend, since I had no criteria. She told me lets talk and we still talking and we are engaged. She is 23, one child, does not know how to cook, does not have at least a two year college education and most important we have never made love. In fact I went to her birthday party in Feb.2006 and proposed, she accepted and now we are doing the immigration thing. In September she asked if I would like to go to her birthday party and I thanked her accepted, but I did know I would propose. I started to talk to her on line, in fact I even missed her. When I started having these of missing and longing for her and longing to her voice again and again, I knew I was falling..at this point I could have rejected and went, but I did not. I never ever told her on-line that I loved her.
When you start having feelings of longing and missing a person, you are falling in love with them, you are at the point you can either accept falling in love or not, if accepted remember that love dulls the senses even for the best, it creates a misty veil that does not allow for you to see objectively or subjectively.
Love Takes No Prisoners.

Peace and Luv
Alan

Answer 2

When Your Heart Jumps Out Of You Chest It Wont Be Of Your Own Choosing,Most People Don't Think With Their Heads When It Comes To Love

Answer 3

No, you can help it by looking in the right places but ultimately you can't make the decision consciously. Sometimes you can be with the loveliest person but essentially don't love them as anything more than a friend. Other times you can be with an absolute numpty and feel an overwhelming love for them.

Love is rarely sensible

Answer 4

I think you're talking about who we fall in lust with aren't you.
I don't think you can choose who you're attracted to & ultimately fall in lust with, but you can choose who you're not going to allow yourself to be attracted to [according to whether you're spoken for or not]
Love however is a totally different thing...that's a conscious decision we make. So we can decide whether we're going to allow ourselves to love another...having said all of that....The laws of attraction are what start it all off...in which we don't have an awful lot of control if we're allowing ourselves to go with the flow....Make sense?

Answer 5

ooh good question.

i've heard some reports that study neural networks in our brain say we don't exhibit 'free choice' as much as we think we do. ie if we lived our lives again (without the benefit of hindsight) we would make all the same decisions.

if you meet someone and feel pulled towards them i guess you could chose to walk away. but unless there were exceptional circumstances that affected your moral code (he was married or whatever) you would probably not.

then again i do believe that we attract what we look for subconsciously so we could chose it subconsiously.

um. ie i don't know. good question tho :-)

Answer 6

no bc falling in love is not something you choose to do or something you can force your self to do and if you do then its not true love. falling in love just happens you cant control it

Answer 7

You can condition yourself to feel the physiological responses associated with love to whatever stimuli you choose - love is Pavlovian.

Answer 8

I seriously doubt it. If we could pick& chose how would we explain couples that are completly from different side of the spectrum yet are so in love it works??Love is a mystery.

Answer 9

yes the government hasn't got around to taxing you yet for falling in love without their permission

Answer 10

Don't I wish. I am seeing a wonderful man and I don't know if I will grow to love him. There is someone that I love and he does not care for me. Love sucks!