My boyfriend and I have been dating for over 2 years. It has been implied (through small comments we have both made, and by comments and observations made by our families)that we will get married, however we have yet to formally talk about marriage. We just have not had that conversation, I am in my mid-20s, he in his late 20s. I recently finished up a extensive graduate program and he has been working on advancing his career, so the timing of actually getting married/engaged is a few years away. However, I want to intiate the conversation, b/c i just feel it is the right time in our relationship to at least start thinking ahead to that point in time and coming to terms with what we want for our lives. So, how do I go about bring it up? Until now I've been quiet b/c i don't want him to feel like i'm rushing the issue, b/c I definetly not ( i want to send the next year establishing my career) Any ideas?
2006-12-26 17:51:07 · 8 answers · asked by Answer Girl 2007 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
The only way to do it, is to do it. There is no right time or place. Just while talking one day, ask specific questions to the things you need to know. Be open and honest about how you feel and what youw would like to happen.
2006-12-26 17:59:29 · answer #1 · answered by â¤??? ?å???? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The next time someone brings in your family brings it up, you can simply say..."Your mom was talking today about you and I getting married....how do you feel about that? Do you see us getting married down the road, once we've both established our careers?"
His answer should determine your course of action. Be sure to reiterate that you aren't in any rush, but set a timeframe -- such as 3 years or 5 years. Otherwise, he (or you) could never get your careers established, or things could go horribly wrong. You could state it in a non-specific way. "I see myself married and settled by the time I'm 30." (Whether married to him remains to be seen.) After two years, you should be comfortable enough with each other to talk about your future goals, dreams, and wishes.
2006-12-27 08:39:14 · answer #2 · answered by Jenny 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
After two years, you have a right to expect something from this man.
So now's as good a time an any to broach the subject. Wait until you are both relaxed and not under added stress, like the holidays.
Tell him what you told us, that you haven't wanted to push but that you think you have a right to know what his intentions are and you would like to plan on a future...with him.
Good luck.
2006-12-27 03:37:21 · answer #3 · answered by weddrev 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you just propose to him and explain that you'd like a long engagement? Like 18 to 24 mos. or what ever time you feel is right.
2006-12-27 01:54:51 · answer #4 · answered by sharpeilvr 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Start by talking about how excited you are for your future, and say that you hope he will be there with you through all of it. That should get a conversation going.
Good luck!
2006-12-27 02:27:45 · answer #5 · answered by Esma 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you aren't ready and your relationship is going so well then why rush it?
I wouldn't mention it if I were you until the timing is right. And it sounds like it isn't.
2006-12-27 04:46:09 · answer #6 · answered by LC 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont feel bad about bringing it up! What youre doing is fine. Just casually bring up the subject and tell him how you feel.
2006-12-27 02:30:39 · answer #7 · answered by Christines256 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Express what you want from him and he from you. He might actually say he never wants to marry. Shock or not, you'll know to break it off for good.
2006-12-27 01:54:22 · answer #8 · answered by Legandivori 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋