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"ah, don't listen to mother" she always said. Should I talk back to her or not? I prefer nice person but I AM TIRED of her....

2006-12-26 17:44:22 · 17 answers · asked by foxxmay2001 2 in Family & Relationships Family

17 answers

No one should be allowed to do to your children what you don't want them to, are you serious? Your children have two parents, not three. Discuss your concerns with your spouse and let your mother in law know how you feel. If she can't respect you changes have to made immediately. Get more aggresive.

2006-12-26 17:48:05 · answer #1 · answered by Bonita Applebaum 5 · 3 0

You need to talk to your Mother-In-Law and let her know what is
going on. Tell her that since they are not listening to you that they
will not be able to go anywhere until they start listening. NO BUTS. My grand-daughter tries to do the same thing and my Daughter and my Son-In-Law stops my oldest from coming over when she starts acting up, and I understand. This shows her that she can not act up and get her way. If your Mother-In-Law gets
upset then she is just like the children, their is no reasoning with
her. But if she is a person that you can explain how you feel then
everything should go just fine. Good Luck!! Talk to your husband
as well, Your husband should of spoked up a long time ago,
besides it is his mother and he should of said something and
it would of made it easier for you. You tell your kids they won't be going over for a while until they respect you and you don't mean
just when they want to go to Grandma's house, it means all the
time.

2006-12-26 18:20:21 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

There is not a single person on the planet that has a right to step between a mother and her children --Your mother in law is so in the wrong and absolutely tell her (nicely) to stop telling the kids that--If that doesn't seem to work then I would strongly suggest you limit the time they spend with her--and even then while you are there to set them strait--Also when she says don't listen to you?? Tell the kids they better or you are all leaving --

2006-12-26 18:24:33 · answer #3 · answered by skizzle-d-wizzle 4 · 1 0

I am a grandmother of 6. I love having the little ones around but I never do anything that I think their parents might not like. If I do something that the parents don't like they simply tell me. I never give the children anything without consulting their parents first. I also put the grandchildren in their place if I hear them disrespecting their parents just because I am around. That is not right. Children do get away with some things at their grandparents house but they should also be told that they should always respect their parents. Just ask your mother-in-law to stop telling the children not to listen to you.

2006-12-26 18:06:37 · answer #4 · answered by Nan of Many 2 · 1 0

Granny's love spoiling children, but they don't have to deal with them after the visit.

Firstly, talk to you hubby and tell him what is going on, and ask his opinion. This way, if the following does not work, he at least knows the whole situation before it unfolds. If you have a supportive husband, all the better!! Get some tips from him on how his mom was with them as kids. Tell him this is your plan :

Take your mother in law one side, and tell her how you feel in a nice way. Use the old - remember when your kids were their age, were they allowed to do ................? She will realise that she did not allow her kids to do what she is allowing yours to do to you. Tell her respectfully that although you know she loves them, and only has their best interests at heart, you have to deal with them later, and are finding it difficult as she is telling them not to listen to you (make as if you know she is doing it jokingly, but that they take her seriously - even though she is NOT doing it jokingly) Tell her that although you love her too, it has become such a difficult situation that fewer visits are going to be made if the children do not stop their nonsense. That should at least jolt her into action! Good luck. If the "talk" doesn't work, get your hubby to intervene with his Mom.

2006-12-26 19:15:32 · answer #5 · answered by dragonfly 4 · 1 0

NO! Your mother-in-law should not be allowed to communicate in any way with your children if she is spoiling them and influencing them in any way not to obey you. You should write her a letter that explains what she can and can not say and do related to your children and what will happen if she does not honor your rules. Next offense and a light penalty will follow, second offense a more severe penalty and a third offense and a much more severe penalty. Each penalty should be in form of limiting communication of her with your children. THis problem will only get worse if you do not stop it now.

2006-12-26 17:55:30 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

This MIL would be barred from seeing these kids if they were mine. Until & unless she backs WAY OFF.
It is not up to her to "parent" YOUR kids. That is YOUR JOB ! ( BTW--Are YOU doing your job )

You need to lay down the law to her and then to YOUR KIDS. Set the rules and the punishments for when they break the rules. Be prepared to carry thru with the punishments EACH & EVERY time the rules are broken.

2006-12-26 17:52:52 · answer #7 · answered by C S 3 · 0 0

If she is really giving you problems, sit her down and say that her visiting the kids is completely conditional upon her being a good role model for them. And if she is insulting someone, much less their mother, she should not have access to your kids. Explain to her that these are your kids and if her comments are not conducive to your plan for raising them, then she needs to adjust herself or get out. Happy Holidays, and I hope everything works out!

2006-12-26 18:06:46 · answer #8 · answered by Xenia 3 · 1 0

I would tell her that you do not have a problem with her spoiling the kids but if she is going to continue to teach them to disrespect you then the spoiling will stop too! Tell her that if she is going to teach her grandchildren how to be bad people then it is your choice to not exclude your children from such bad influences

2006-12-26 17:52:00 · answer #9 · answered by crazy_sunshine2 2 · 1 0

I, too, have a Monster-In-regulation, so i can particularly relate on your discomfort. easily, MIL is making an attempt to undermine your authority as a mom. surely, she is succeeding--regrettably. you may no longer could post with it and there are issues you're able to do to decrease it. be conscious I reported decrease, by using fact being with out spending a dime from the nonsense probably will in no way happen. you will could cope with MIL your self. i do no longer think of your husband would be lots help in this section. and that i say this by using fact curiously she has been overstepping her limitations together with her son for it sluggish now. consistent with danger that's the way it has continuously been .... to a certian degree a minimum of? Frankly, i discover it extraordinary that she spends lots time with you and your husband. It makes me think of that she would have "administration themes". yet it somewhat is tremendous to spend time with "Mommy", your husband is a grown guy and has a relatives of his very own. She needs to decrease back up and appreciate that. There are some issues which you're able to do. undergo in suggestions which you and your husband will probably have some greater arguements approximately MIL alongside the way or till now you spot any substantial adjustments. on occasion in existence: No discomfort, no earnings. anyhow, it's time to "get annoying" with MIL. Be stern and carry your floor--no rely what. the two one in each of you do no longer could like one yet another ...it somewhat is suited--yet no longer needed. 9 circumstances out of ten, the spouse will finally end up prevailing the tug-of-conflict with MIL. regardless of each thing, we undergo his toddlers and sleep with him in basic terms approximately each evening, do no longer we? First, enable your husband understand the stance you would be taking and all of the justifications why, so as that he's not blind-sided via the probably new "stress" which will probably upward push up. additionally, does your husband produce different siblings or close kin? consistent with danger you have them contemporary for the period of your following few visitations. That way you could set up an best pal interior the relatives who ought to decrease back you and help assist you on your place.

2016-10-19 00:48:42 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0 0

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