family probs..?

Question

my mom, dad and I take care of my elderly grandma a lot. we go over to her apartment, clean it, do dishes, make sure she takes her meds, brings her out and to the drs, stores, etc. But noone else in my fam seems to help her with the exception of one uncle. The rest of the fam ignores her and doesnt want to be bothered bc they are too busy or w/e. This really upsets me because i know she wont be around a lot longer and they cant see that bc they are so stuck on themselves. my mom got in a huge fight with one uncle and they hardly talk. so its just us 3 who take care of gramma. its not that i dont mind taking care of her its just that i feel so angry at the rest of the fam for ignoring her. they visit her like once a month. they brought her a big present for xmas eve and had a nice dinner at her place and didnt invite us over to celebrate. the next day, on christmas day, mom and i go over to grams to pick her up, and had to clean up their mess even tho it was spotless the nite before.

So i ran out of room lol
Im asking u guys what to do about the situation. Should we just keep living our lives takin care of gram or fight back and tell them whats on our minds.

Answer 1

I know exactly what you are going through. My mom died in August of 2005, and she has 12 children (10 living), and when she got sick and along in years my brothers and sisters (with the exception of 2) did her the same way your family is doing your grandmother. My brother, my sister and I took care of her until the day she died. She died in my house, in my bed, and in my arms. If it wasn't for hospice and my 2 helpful siblings and most of all God, I would never have made it. One of my brothers told me that it was my job to take care of her and his job to love her! Well, I was angry and with good reason just as you are, but God showed me how to get rid of the anger that eats you up while the other people seem to be fine. He told me to expect nothing from them and to lean on Him. If you keep expecting and getting mad at them it will only eat you up. Expect them to be who they are. Your reward will be swift and so will the judgement for not helping with your grandmother be for them. You will have the peace of knowing that you took care of your grandmother, and that is an honor and a priviledge. they on the other hand will have no peace knowing what they did. I hope this helps you. God bless.

Answer 2

Keep on doing what your beautiful self is doing, and don't worry about the rest. Love your grandma to the best of your ability (which totally sounds like your doing), so when she crosses over you'll have no regrets. What goes around comes around my girl. And they will get theirs. Just do your best because that is all your grandma could ever ask of you. And in some way you will be thanked. Chin up

Answer 3

First, i think of you're able to talk with a training counselor at your college. See if he/she would be in a position to set your loved ones up with a family participants scientific care software. in line with threat then you certainly can get the uncomplicated certainty If that would not artwork, attempt spending greater time with your dad, and notice in case your mom acts in yet in any different case. threat is, she will have the skill to start up worrying approximately you greater If those concepts do no longer artwork, attempt somewhat reiterating the entire divorce thought on your dad yet in the potential of those kinds of thoughts, you're able to be spending much less time around your mom, and greater day out of the domicile. It somewhat does strengthen your temper lots. I even have family participants themes too, and that i got here across that the terrific therapy is often a sturdy chat with your buddy, of their domicile :P

Answer 4

My family had the same problem... my grandfather died in 1997 but before he did he lived with us and my mother looked after him until she couldnt anymore and he went to an old age home, then when he died my mother asked around to pay for the funeral but no one helped... but I know that my mothers conscience is clear and she knows that she did everything she could do for him and no one else can say the same because they were never there for us. So what Im saying is when your grandmother does pass away (in YEARS to come) you'll know in your heart that you did everything to help and care and show her all the love you have til the final days of her life... just run with it, if your family is anything like mine they'll never change until their time comes and they're wanting you there for them when they're old and cant do things for themselves... come that time they'll see how horrible they were when they're lying there all alone with no family helping them?

Answer 5

You cant make people care if they don't want to --just be proud of yourself that you are there for your Grandmother--One thing you can do is this--BECAUSE you and your family clean for your Gram you do have the fight to ask the others to clean up after themselves after they have invited themselves over to Grams home --If they can make a mess then they can certainly clean it up---

Answer 6

Every family has a few of these, ours too. Why fight, they are too selfish to change. Do what you have been doing and enjoy grandma, your conscience will always be clear and she loves your visits I'm sure. As for them, what goes around comes around.

Answer 7

Maybe I'm missing something but I didn't see a question there, was there one?