My boyfriend an dI have been together for like 7 months and we have had an up and down relationship. Lately it seems like we've been fighting more and more and when we hang out he seems distant. I know he wouldn't cheat on me, but it seems like he's bored. I do admit that sometimes I get jealous and yell at him, but he does the same to me. He was supposed to see me today and he didn't go, then he called later and said he'd visit me at work, again he didn't show. He hasn't called me. I feel like I always do things for him, but when it comes to him doing something for me, he doesn't, or he'll do it half way. Is it over?
2006-12-26 17:28:55 · 35 answers · asked by Brown eyes 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I don't see communication in your relationship. I see yelling and ignoring. I think it is over. It depends if he has been like this for how long? If this lasts for more then a month with no ups. then let the relationship go and move on. As much as it might hurt it's better that way. Because you will only hurt more if you stay.
2006-12-26 17:34:15 · answer #1 · answered by kitty 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
"Then the time came when the risk it took to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." -- Anais Nin
I think that love can perservere through a lot of things, however, a relationship is all about passion, excitement, and of course, love. (Bare with me, I'm a hopeless romantic.) If things have become stagnant and just plain comfortable within your relationship, it may be that you guys need to change things up a bit if that's the case. However, if you're feeling distant emotionally and perhaps like things might be over, they very well could be! My philosophy is that the first 6 months of a relationship is the "honeymoon" phase where everything is fantastic and lovey, but after that period, everything starts to settle and reality surfaces. You may realize that you're just not a perfect match for each other.
If you do not take away anything from this message, take away just this one thing: Never settle. I have settled for way too many things in relationships. Be picky, because the things that drive you nuts about him will ultimately drive you away from him. Be as picky as you want. There are many MANY fish in the sea and there's one that will blow you right off of your feet! Also, you won't be questioning the relationship with the "right" one. =) Hope that helps!
2006-12-26 17:38:31 · answer #2 · answered by Amanda G 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It does not sound good. You two should be relating to each other.
Actions on his behalf should show how he feels and not meeting you at the office is a big strike against him. You both should be close enough that when you feel bad he can sense by your eyes and your face that you are really having a bad day and vice a versa, I get the impression that both of you do not have this sense in each other.
Jealousy will kill a relationship. Yelling and screaming only builds resentment and puts most people in a defense, in a real relationship it only hurts and destroys what is there.
It sounds like you are a giver and he is a taker and it sounds like he takes, takes, takes and never gives.
In a real love relationship one gives of their selves to the other because they love and yet that other person must reciprocate that also. He must want to feel the need to be by you and talk to you everyday not off and on. What happens is that the passion of love that was fresh, that burning desire to be with each other has diminished and like a fire that love must be rekindled or it also will diminish like a fire that has not been refueled. Two people to keep the love life flowing, must work on the relationship. Should this not be done your love for each will be like that of the fire and will diminish and as the fire change form so will your love for each other. You two should not be fighting but making for each other and with other.
It sounds like your relationship is collapsing, but if you two really love each other there is hope.
It might take a direct confrontation to ask him how he feels, but it just might be necessary. Should you confront him only talk with loving words and love in heart.
Peace and Luv
Alan
2006-12-26 17:50:35 · answer #3 · answered by zeeofman 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Too many ups and downs in such short period of time is more than a sign it's not meant to be it's a larger than life glaring bilboard. You shouldn't have to try so hard to make a relationship work. The beginning is supposed to be the honeymoon period and it seems to me yours was short lived. I think you and your boyfriend should have spent more time getting to know each rather than going right into a relationship. You would have realized it wasn't meant to be the easy way but better luck next time. Until then let this one go. Step up and do the dumping before he gets a chance.
2006-12-26 17:33:51 · answer #4 · answered by Bonita Applebaum 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seems like the both of you need to really sit down and have a heart to heart talk..Relationships are wonderful when they first start out..Then as life hits us they change..Maybe he is bored,,if he is then maybe he can shed some light of when this happened..Follow your heart..You are the only one who knows what you truly feel for him..Is he worth keeping? If so then work it out would be my advise..We all, whether dating or married, go thru our ups and downs and seems here lately even marriages are having more of them..Life has gotten so fast paced..We are turning in all directions at the same time..If you love him and you want to keep your relationship alive then talk to him..Figure out things both of you would enjoy doing and do them..Put that excitement yall once had back into it...A good talk will work miracles sometimes...May God help you both in this situation..God bless
2006-12-26 17:35:12 · answer #5 · answered by glowworm 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First ask yourself this question!
Why are you asking others if it is over, when you already 'know'
IT IS!
When a lover doesn't respond to you by calling, visiting etc,
that alone is a 'prime' example of ENDED!!!
And when two 'supposed' lovers sometimes 'yell' at each other,
this is another 'clue' that the 'love' between you is gone, maybe
not on your part, but certainly his!!
When he 'seems' distant, it's because he is.
When a man or woman act distant with their lover, it is saying one thing, and 'one' thing only!
They really don't want to be with you right now, or maybe not at all.
Let him go now because it is OVER!!
2006-12-26 17:44:19 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. If you really love him do the following: Try to maintain distance for a little while and try to text message each other on the phone. And when you 2 think is right see each other again. And you are right he is probably bored. Ya just need some time to reboot!
2006-12-26 17:34:03 · answer #7 · answered by Carlos T 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
girlfriend i am no expert but if you feeling in your gut that he is cheating then maybe he is. i have been there my ex would tell me he'll call and never do he would tell me i will do this and that but never do. me myself and i . i would let it go i know its easy for me to say being on the outside but it aint worth it. and as for the jealousy and the fighting you dont need that. i am a firm believer dont fight over a man thats not my nature i say do whatever your heart tells you to do sounds also like you might not have the full story but i will say again girl follow your heart and your gut if you believe he is cheating maybe he is and girl God bless you in this. i hope and pray the the truth does come out to the light for you and your peace of mind.
2006-12-26 17:38:22 · answer #8 · answered by Shevette B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes 7 months time for a new man
2006-12-26 17:30:26 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like the two of you are losing the common bond you once shared. Sometimes people have the tendancy to grow apart and sounds like thats what is going on. If you feel the relationship has become one sided then yes, it is tome to end it. Good Luck to you.
2006-12-26 17:31:23 · answer #10 · answered by amandaped25 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋