I haven't spoken with a high school friend for two years. We weren't very close in high school, just spoke in History class - she sat behind me. Recently, I recieved an invitation to her wedding. The wedding is in January and there is no RSVP - for sure one of her close friends has all ready said she can not attend. Do I have to go - I know I don't have to do anything, but socially do I have an obligation? Thoughts and opinions.
2006-12-26 17:08:43 · 17 answers · asked by The Pope 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Absolutely not. You havent spoken for 2 years and she wasnt really a close friend, so I say you have no obligation at all. Just be sure to let her know even though there is no RSVP. Send her a nice card thanking her for the invite and tell her you will not be able to attend. you dont have to make up excuses, just make it short and sweet and congratulate her on her upcoming wedding. Do not feel obligated to send a gift or attend the wedding.
2006-12-26 17:14:34 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
If you wouldn't be offended at not being invited, your friend shouldn't be offended if you choose not to attend. However, even if there is no RSVP, that may have just been an oversight. I would send a congratulatory note that said something like, 'Dear Sue, Congratulations! I'm so excited for you. Thank you so much for thinking of me. I'm sorry I will be unable to attend but want to wish you all the best". You have no social obligation to accept the invitation but responding is always good form.
2006-12-27 01:17:38 · answer #2 · answered by hairdvs 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Weddings are special occasions for the wedding party, family, friends and neighbours. Whoever invited were regarded highly as good and close friends. For someone being invited to such is an Honor. You my friend was invited for a reason. You might not have thought of her as a good and close friend but she regarded you as one. She have a spot in her heart for you as a good friend. Preparing a wedding was so much hassle, too many things to do and so many things were missed. And to think with all these busyness she still remembers to invite you. That alone meant something, that you are important, can't you see?
My friend my advice is you should go. What do you have to lose? If you can make her super happy in her wedding day, would you deny her that? Seeing some old acquaintances make us happy, how much more in a special occasion?
This is not a matter of obligation and don't base your decision on some of her friends that doesn't want to go. Think of what we (answerer's) have to say and decide from there. In your heart I know that you want to go, you don't want to fail her expectations of you. Go and have fun!!!!!!!
2006-12-27 01:58:50 · answer #3 · answered by egan 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have no obligation to go to the wedding whatsoever. If there is no RSVP, then you don't have to respond, either. However, if there is a reception card, or a footnote about a reception with a meal, then I would do the courteous thing and write a note regretting that you cannot attend (NO reason is necessary)
2006-12-27 01:21:04 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's funny, once we find the man for us we often lose touch with our friends and then it's time to make the guest list for the wedding day and we want to include friends in our celebration - and sometimes we reach out to old friends for this. She will surely love it if you attend, but she will not be angry with you if you don't attend (and it doesn't really matter what she thinks since she is not really a part of your life). Take a date or a friend with you - it could be lots of fun - or blow it off entirely. You are surely not obligated to go.
Peace!
2006-12-27 01:18:57 · answer #5 · answered by carole 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You do not have an obligation to go. I would at least send some kind of congratulations, perhaps a card or a gift. If you do not feel that close to her, then you might even feel awkward at the wedding. So, you have no obligation to go, so just go if it feels right. You could also just go to either just the ceremony or just the reception, if time/formality is an issue.
2006-12-27 01:13:45 · answer #6 · answered by sariana09 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A good question. On the surface, I would say no...however, she must be kind of desperate for guests or exceedingly generous to invite someone she was allegedly not close to and has not spoken to for two years.
So...the question is, will you accept her invitation or not? If you truly have nothing better to do, then why not go to the reception only for the hell of it? What harm is it to go, and who knows, you might meet someone interesting to mingle with among the guests and eat a free meal...all you got to do is show up with a nice small gift, give her your best wishes, mingle, eat some tasty food, sample the cake and after awhile excuse yourself with a smile and more best wishes!
Pretty easy and a nice thing to do I say, and what is so wrong with that.
2006-12-27 01:17:22 · answer #7 · answered by Middy S 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Everything that you do in life is a choice that you make by yourself.
You definitely should not feel obliged to come to her wedding just because she invited you. I think taht you should choose exactly what you want to do, not what you think she wants you to do. Do you think that you will enjoy the wedding or not?
2006-12-27 01:12:18 · answer #8 · answered by Dancer101 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, how sad for her- she has to invite people she hardly knows to fill up seats. That stinks!
Anyway, of course you are not obligated to go. Send a card to congratualte with "sorry I am not able to attend" in the note. You need not explain your reasons, and it rude for her to ask why you aren't going to attend.
2006-12-27 01:19:15 · answer #9 · answered by Honesty given here! 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you have to go. However, I think that it was an honor to be invited, whether you were close or not. Knowing me, I'd probably send a card with a few bucks, and explain that I was not able to make it.
2006-12-27 01:38:21 · answer #10 · answered by Snobunny 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋