Being Jewish and giving promise rings?

Question

Is it true that Jewish men do not give "promise rings" to their girlfriends? I happen to be Jewish and really have not heard of that "rule".

Answer 1

Part of the betrothal ceremony required that the soon-to-be-groom show
good faith by giving his soon-to-be-bride a betrothal ring; it was a
symbol of his promise to marry her.

Often these rings were plain. Gold was sometimes used, but often more
humble materials were favored. In ancient Rome, iron was preferred,
sometimes with attached house keys, showing the man's trust in his
future wife. But most betrothal rings were simple till about the
eighth century, when Jewish jewelry makers began creating elaborate
rings for the occasion (three-dimensional mini-temples and treasure
boxes with precious gems, for example). But these fanciful designs
didn't last for long...You can imagine how cumbersome such rings were
to wear!

This may be just jewsih folk lore about not giving promise rings, ask your rabbi if you have any other questions...

Answer 2

By Jewish law there are three parts to becoming "legally wed"
[not necessarily in order]

a.the giving of the Ksubah. This is the marrie-age document by which a man agrees to take responsibility for his wife and do all that's required for a wife under the laws of the Torah. Funny enough, he doesn't actually sign this. It is signed by two witnesses who witness that he has undertaken this contract, and it is then given to the bride. (Beware ladies, an ACCURATE translation of this document reads like a sleazy purchase agreement, in my humble opinion. It goes over things like her virginity etc.)


b. [this bit comes last but I've put it in here to allow room for the significance of the ring last]
the consumation of the marriage. The bride and groom are led into a private room, which has been checked by the witnesses for privacy and number of exits. Guards are placed at the doors and the couple are left in the room for a short period of time to "do the deed". Depending on their upbringing, many couples take this time to have a bite to eat and relax for a moment as they have been fasting since dawn and hounded by family since time immemorial. :)

c. The ring. The ring is a ring of a certain value. {I've forgotten the exact value but as it was set many years ago, the actual value in today's society is only a few dollars.} the ring is usually recommended to be plain with no gems, markings or patterns so that even an untrained eye can easily estimate it's worth as being adequate. The ring is first ascertained as being the legal property of the groom and as being of at least the minimum value mentioned before. The groom then places the ring on the bride's finger [I think it's actually her forefinger from memory] and states that [literal translation]
"behold, you are sanctified (wed) to me, with this symbol [or sign etc. this being the ring] as per the laws of Moses and Israel."

The problem arises out of this bit.
If a guy gives a girl a ring, he may have already fulfilled one third of the wedding ceremony and the woman may legally be now sanctified to him. In other words she may be, in the eyes of the God, married. If they break up, she may need a legal gett {Jewish divorce}.If she hops into bed with another guy without this, then that other guy may be guilty of sleeping with another man's wife. A BIG NO-NO.
To avoid this problem, many Jewish men will not give any rings to women until the day of their wedding.