No relationship with my siblings...is it the end of the world?

Question

I am the youngest in a family of 5. The oldest has passed on, while another one lives in a foreign country. The other 2 live within my local area, but I have no relationship with them at all. Frankly, I am relieved to have nothing to do with them, now that we are well into our 40s and 50s. I have no energy left to devote to this no-win situation. There is too much rage, jealousy, envy and one-upmanship competition. My sister once warned me about growing old alone and all by myself without them. I am happily married today, but with no kids. My husband understands the situation in my family and has been fully supportive of me. Your thoughts?

Answer 1

I'd say it's the beginning of a more pleasant world, myself. I'm in the same age range and also have no relationship to speak of with my siblings and really don't miss them. I think your sister is full of B.S. - not having contact with your immediate family won't determine whether you'll grow old alone or not. Having similar genetics means nothing when it comes time to form adult relationships.

I consider my family today to be the close friends I've developed over many years. We help each other out when needed and I know that's who will be there at the end. I have specifically excluded a couple of my siblings from my will and the majority of my estate will go to my friends.

It's perfectly fine to determine that your siblings don't do anything but drag you down and move on to have meaningful relationships with other people who more closely mirror your values and approach to life.

Answer 2

I feel u totally i'm the only child and my father passed away this august and my family members do not talk to me or my mom they treat us like outsiders but as long as we have each other everything will be fine and girl no it's not the end of the world u have a husband who loves u and that should be enough to keep u happy. Happy New Year

Answer 3

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Answer 4

Well, I'm only sixteen,but I have younger siblings and can relate to your problem. I have nothing in common with any of my cousins or my 13 year old sister. I don't think it's the end of the world necessarily because...sometimes....you don't always need your family to make you happy. Blood isn't always thicker than water anyway, so I'd say just enjoy the rest of your life. You live yours, and let them live theirs. Good luck.

Answer 5

I am in the same boat as you: You got your wonderful husband who supports you, and that is all you need. I have been in no win situations myself with my Brother and that has been going on for years. Cant take it and no energy to do anything about it.
Furthermore, You are relieved you said:) I know you still must feel hurt, I do but focus on what you have and not what you don't:)

Answer 6

Not the end of the world, but you're missing out quite a bit. I sense that there's a lot of maturing on their part that needs to happen. Friends you get to choose, family, not. If you can have friends in your family you're blessed, but really... shake off the dust where you are not welcome, and live a full life, not with fear of what they wish for you. You are lucky to have found love, he's your family, go and be merry together. If this stuff with your family turns around, be ready to welcome the change, otherwise, there's no one way road to love.

Answer 7

I have been in the same situation as you with my brother for the past 8 years. i do not think it is the end of the world. yes i think about him but like you i just don't have anything left in me to get in touch and try again. and yes we may land up old and alone in the long run, but that may be better then old, not alone and fighting nonstop. just something to think about.

Answer 8

well, they are your family and always will be, so try to make peace with them. if you feel alone, get a pet, preferably a dog. they sense when you are sad or upset and are very comforting. i am in a similar situation and i know it's very tiring and stressful, but i think the best choice is to just go forth and try to make things right.

Answer 9

No it is not the end of the world. Both My wife and I have very little contact with siblings.we live our lives our way .we had a lot of conflict with her siblings so she just cut them out .we see them once a year maybe .same as my brother he keeps to himself ,and we seem not to be bothered by any of it.life is too short ,so to argue with siblings that goes nowhere and stresses anyone out is a no win solution .maybe in time things will level out .like they say. time heals all wounds. don't worry about it.

Answer 10

IT NOT THE END OF THE WORLD.BUT FAMLY IS GOOD TO
HAVE WHEN THINGS GET BAD.BUT YOU DONT REALLY
NEED THEM. FAMILY IS WHAT YOU HAVE AND IT SOUND LIKE
YOUR HUSBAND IS YOUR FAMILY SO THAT ALL YOU NEED
AS FOR CHILDREN DOWN THE ROAD THEY WOULD BE
A REAL BLESSING FOR YOU AS WELL.BUT AS LONG AS
YOU ARE HAPPY THAT ALL THAT MATTER.