was in a long distance relationship for 8 years(1998-2006). me and my girlfriend fell in love and had plans to move in together and have kids and get married etc. im a honest, caring, faithful guy who believes in commitment. when we first met, she begged me not to leave her because she thought i would because of the distance. i stayed with her. she cheated on me a few years later, right after she told me that i was the only guy she ever wanted to be with. she begged me to take her back and i did. last summer she told me that she had been seeing other people off and on for years and she was just got our of a relationship with a guy because she got pregnant. all this behind my back. she has totally cut me off of her life. she recently told me that she got back with him. im am really hurt and feel like a total fool and idiot. how can she have a kid with another guy and i am the one that had been through thick and thin with her. through the good and bad times.
2006-12-26 15:18:44 · 15 answers · asked by craig h 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
just the thought of her being with another guy and they are having a kid together, is devastating to say the least. and the bad thing is, i think i am still in love with her. it all feels unreal. she claims that she didnt want to hurt me and couldnt tell me becasue she didnt want to loose my friendship. and the worst things is, she told me all of this on the internet. 8 years for nothing, right down the tubes. another guy is having her child.!!! she knows how nice and respectful of a guy i am. why hurt me the way she did?? and she refuses to call me. seems like she took the easy way out. does honestly, faithfulness and commitment counts anymore these days???
2006-12-26 15:24:37 · update #1
I'm so sorry to hear about this. This woman is a complete idiot to do this to such a great guy. You'll find someone better :)
2006-12-26 15:22:07 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry for you, you sound like a really nice guy and I know you heard this many times but you do deserve someone who will respect you like you respect them, and love you back. Forget the 8 years and forget what she has done to you--- reminiscence of painful memories only brings remorse and depression.
She is messed up- and I mean, messed up. To let a nice guy like you go and get pregnant by an anybody-- you deserve much more. I don't know what made you fall for her- but really re-evaluate what you want in a girlfriend,lover,wife and try to think of that when you are looking for someone to date. We all seem to be drawn to the "bad" for us- it's a evil/good thing and is the worse scenario for the "good" person and as we all know, the evil one doesn't even care and bat an eye over the whole incident.
Consider this relationship a very long life lesson that you really needed to learn- do not let it turn you away from committment or trusting other women--- just remember what I said about what you really want in a girlfriend-- even make yourself a cheat sheet to take with you in your wallet---I'm not kidding, and remind yourself daily of what you are looking for--- consider it your shopping list. And you are not a fool--- there is NO ONE on this earth that hasn't been where you are right now-- they are just too cowardice to admit it. If your depression really seems to be getting you down, please talk to a professional- even it's just a therapist and not a psychologist- you don't want to have issues about this for the rest of your life.... and there is one major rule that I abide by and have given this advise to my daughters-
1. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree--- how is her mother and father's relationship? divorced and she is dating I would guess.
2. Once a cheater, always a cheater--- if someone tells you they love you and then they cheat on you--- they can never be trusted and again- check out the mom and dad--- is her father that way?
Not that it is an excuse for her behavior but it was an acceptable occurrence in her household while she was growing up, just like drugs in some and alcohol in others.. Good luck to you--- I wish you all the best and .. move on..........
2006-12-26 23:32:56 · answer #2 · answered by mac 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Distance is tough only few survive it I'm sorry that happend to you but sometime people need closeness and all you can say will not change that they need to be hugged and stuff. Distance makes the heart grow fonder I say out of sight out of mind. She also probably told you she wanted to be with you and only you so you would not find someone else sounded like she wanted to have her cake and eat it to. My advice time heals all wounds you sound like a great guy and you are gonna make someone very happy one day. Let her go do not take her back and move on there are plenty of women out there that would love to have you.
2006-12-26 23:26:49 · answer #3 · answered by lovewhereilive 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOw I really have to say that you are a real man. I can't beleive you got back with her after she did all that. You really liked her huh? That's so nice but you did the wrong thing for getting back with her because I mean she did that what makes you think she won't do it again. Not all women are like that there are some women that do take care of their man that are sweet and caring to them, but there are also women that take advantage of their own guy b/c they are sweet and will know that they would understand them if they do anything wrong to them. I am sorry for the things she did to you.
2006-12-26 23:29:26 · answer #4 · answered by Yasmin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The fact that the entire relationship was long-distance, sometimes people can say one thing, and then when someone is right in front of them, and offering them a relationship, it's easy to put aside the long-distance relationship.
2006-12-26 23:21:06 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Low self esteem maybe. I guess some girls just get caught up i being loved, that they expect it from more than one guy. I know girls who have done that. And you don't need to be with someone like that. Someone who gets confused when she has a good thing going on with a guy and chooses to mess it up for her own selfish needs. Move on sweety!
Krazy Libra
2006-12-26 23:22:19 · answer #6 · answered by krazy_libra_from_ac 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Long distance relationships don't last that long in the first place.She is a ***** for doing that to you.One day.it will come back to bite her in the pants and she will relize what she had with you.Sorry about all this man.But karma is a *****!!!
2006-12-26 23:23:58 · answer #7 · answered by paul t 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Prolly for the same reason a man would. Things change, people change, emotions shift and everyone tries to move on. Sorry to hear about this.
2006-12-26 23:20:49 · answer #8 · answered by anecdoteman1 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This woman clearly did not deserve you, nor was she ever really in love with you. She cheated on you so i would gather she was lonely. Just know that she was not the woman for you. Everything happens for a reason.
2006-12-26 23:41:56 · answer #9 · answered by mia w 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would a man cheat on a woman that loves and respect him?
2006-12-26 23:22:10 · answer #10 · answered by xxdelicious_l1psxx 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋