i talked to my bf about how he hurts me when we havent had sex for awhile. and he said he never has tried to hurt me but when we didn't do it after a few months he went as fast as he could just starting, and it ripped me and i bleed like i was on my period. It hurt really bad and i told him i don't want to have sex or anything sexual with him. I tried talking about it a few mins ago with him and he said just get over urself and stop being a baby no one is hurting you. i really love him but i don't trust him in bed. and he is saying we can do it again after college.if we ever get married then. yet i don't want to with him ever. and he wants kids now, and i'm seriously thinking i don't want kids with him now. i don't know what to do.i know its sad to be 18 and not know what to do on this situation but i've never had this happen. and i really want someone else opinion
2006-12-26 15:09:13 · 17 answers · asked by babygirl 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
he won't listen when i ask him not to go so fast during sex or not to do something that hurts, he says nothing he does should hurt
2006-12-26 15:13:08 · update #1
Break up with him. Maybe then he will start thinking about what he can do to try and make you feel better... It sounds like he is not worried about your needs at all.. and like he really doesnt care... Keep on taking it and he will keep on dishing that mess out.
2006-12-26 15:12:23 · answer #1 · answered by yo mama 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
It sounds like he isnt willing to listen to your needs, but you are more than willing to help him with his. Maybe if you approach it in that direction, it will help. Or, let him know that he doesnt get you off during sex and tell him, inch by inch, word by word, on how he should go about getting you off.
Example: My boyfriend's ex girlfriends have all enjotyed the nice and slow routine, which he has gotten used to. I prefer the hard fast, switch-position-every-second, tie-him-up type of sexual interocurse. He was doing the slow routine for a year or so after we started dating and I realized that it got to be too little when I actually fell asleep during sex. The next day, when we went at it, I started screaming at him to go harder and faster...try reversing it. When your boyfriend starts going at it, yell at him to go slow, and if he doesnt, pull away and walk away.
if he wont listen to a normal conversation, he may listen to a conversation when you are screaming bloody murder at him.
Or, if all else fails, look at him during sex and make the stupidest face possible. When he asks you what that face is for, tell him that you dont like what hes doing so yr trying to entertain yrself and keep yr mind off the pain. it sounds weird, but you never know..it may just work.
2006-12-26 15:19:44 · answer #2 · answered by indianteardrops 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are young and have obviously not had good experiences with sex with this guy. This guy sounds like a selfish idiot and you are being disrespected by his treating you this way. Move on and find someone else who is going to treat you with the respect you deserve and afford you with a very enjoyable sexual experience. Sex should be enjoyable and not something that you dread when the time comes. Its meant to be loving and tender not rough and painful.
2006-12-26 18:34:17 · answer #3 · answered by ne_patriots2005 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have never heard of ruff sex causinf bleeding, and I have had some ruff sex, I would suggest getting yourself checked out. If he won't listen now, he won't listen when your marriade, he may just like it ruff, so you may have to decide if you can get use to lovemaking being this way all the time. However, when I was de-virginized, I did bleed alot for the first month, so that could be your problem, if you just got devirginized.
2006-12-26 15:14:56 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hon, he is selfish and doesn't care.Any sensitive person would have seen that your needs were being met before plowing into you,and hurting you. Secondly, he cast aside your feelings on the matter. You have many yrs ahead of you.Don't rush things. He sounds selfish and childish. I would give him a lot of time to grow up, and don't ever feel pressured into sex with anyone unless you know that is right for you,and it's what YOU want.
2006-12-26 15:19:14 · answer #5 · answered by Rhea B 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
nicely you need to be in basic terms terrified of ways he would react because of the fact he's no longer the lovey dovy form, yet you will desire to enable him understand what you opt on for a transformation, enable him understand you opt directly to get cuddled each so often and kissed for no reason right here and there, in case you come across which you men lack verbal substitute additionally enable him understand. Or whilst he reaches abode enable him loosen up first and then go build a communique with him and then enable him understand the way you sense whilst he's gentle in the communique with you.
2016-12-15 08:45:48 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my humble opinion, you are too young for all this. And the whole thing is not complicated at all. Trust is an important part of ANY relationship. A healthy adult heterosexual relationship is not based on SEX. What do you guys have in common? I sincerely hope you saw a doctor after all of the bleeding you described -- not normal at all. I hope you 2 are using protection. It is perfectly fine to be in a relationship with someone and not be sexually intimate with them. Save yourself for after you are married. In the meantime, focus on other aspects of your life, not just this relationship.
2006-12-26 15:19:06 · answer #7 · answered by YaYa 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
im not yo mama but u need to stop havin sex with u okay! especially if hes hurtin u u need to let him kno that u aint havin that. it dont sound like he respects u very much and i think u may be settin urselff up for a destructive relationshop ur only 18 live ur life child stop lettin yo self be rushed into sumtin u shouldnt be thinkin bout for 10 years!
2006-12-26 15:13:36 · answer #8 · answered by leandrasmiles 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
OK...first your EIGHTEEN your not suppose to know what to do in your situation your still very young...second this guy doesn't seem to care about you much *sorry* but if he did he would take his time and make love to you not *fu** and if you told him it hurts when he does that and he's not listening then you def shouldn't have sex with him again...
2006-12-26 15:15:15 · answer #9 · answered by xxdelicious_l1psxx 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry ..... but this guy needs to respect YOU!
Sex is something special and wonderful and is NOT a one person sport, it takes two to play and enjoy. Perhaps this guy needs to learn how to have sex!
I would say move on and find yourself someone who has respect for your body and needs as well.
2006-12-26 15:17:14 · answer #10 · answered by Keanu 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋