Is it wrong that I only want to have one child?

Question

My husband wants 5 children which I will never give him...I am just not that type of person..Plus, me and him are having trouble the last thing I want to do is add another child in the picture..He has always wanted many children , but I wasn't aware of how badly until after our first was born..My child is great I love him with all my heart I just don't want to have the responsability of any more...I want to have a career, and travel..I already feel that I protect the family I would rather not add any more people to take care of...
But besides all that I know that it would be nice for my son to have a sister/brother for when he is older and me and his father are old..Is it selfish that I just don't want to go through it again? My son is only 2 and I just couldn't imigine taking care of 2 I would lose my mind!

Answer 1

No, not wrong. It's your life, you can have no children, one child or more. However, you and your husband should be on the same page on this, you say you knew he has always wanted many children, so you really should have discussed this ahead of time. And if your marriage is in trouble, certainly don't have one to keep him happy.

Answer 2

No, you are not crazy and you are not selfish either. Taking care of children is the hardest job I have ever had. I also just have one and although I do want another, I just imagine going through the whole thing again...at least not right now. Women have it so hard these days, as much help our men try to be most of the time they are no help at all (I know you women out there know what I mean). Between working, keeping house, attempting to meet the needs of our kids...who has time for anything! Too many demands are placed on us these days, I don't know how there are not more reports of women losing it.

I completely understand where you are coming from. Perhaps as your child gets older you might change your mind, and if you don't then that's OK!!

Answer 3

No its not wrong to only have one child, that's all I wanted an that's all I had. If you are having problems now just think about the problems you will have down the road. 5 children is alot to handle. My grandmother said one time ***It takes a village to raise a child***NOW HONEY WITH 5 IT WOULD TAKE 2 STATES. LOL. But also don't stay in a marriage because of the children either it's not good for you or them.....The reason your husband wants 5 kids is that you will birth them an raise them. Pregnant barefoot an in the kitchen all your life

Answer 4

I wouldn't necessarily say it is "wrong." However, I am going to assume that this is something that you knew he wanted prior to marriage right? It would only be wrong if you gave him the impression that you were willing to have more than one child. Needless to say, having only one child can be just as fulfilling as having 3,4, or 5. Maybe, you two should just have a sit-down and come up with a solution that you both will be happy with. And if you're still young, you can travel now and always have children a couple of years down the line. But, I do think that if you have another child, you probably won't regret it; however, if you and her husband are having a troubled marriage the last thing you want to do is bring another child in the world, because instead of building your marriage back up, you will be distracted with the new baby. Have you all ever considered counseling??....just a suggestion..hope everything works out :)

Answer 5

Girl its your womb and he will have to get over it. First of all your kid is only 2 so give it some time before you even consider another one. And only children are better adjusted because their parents can devote more time to them and they have to rely on themselves. Your kid wont know the difference if you don't have a second child. Just because you consider your feelings doesn't mean your selfish. You want more things for your life thats not wrong and its how your raise your child that will effect how he develops. Plus it will be easier to travel with him and he will be able to experience the world unlike most kids.

Answer 6

There is nothing wrong with only having one child. Many people in life, only have one child while some people have many, do not do any thing that you will regret later do what is best for you, If you do decide to have another child wait a while till your other one is a bit older and you wave decided that that is what you want in life. 5 is to many, tell him to stay at home with just one for a few days and see if he still feels like you should have 5.-Good Luck

Answer 7

My daughter-in-law wants a second baby but my son doesn't. She had problems with her pregnancy and I think my son is afraid of "what if". Also he is thinking along the lines if you only have one you can afford more things for them. But in the same breath it is generally a lonely life for an only child. Give yourself time my two boys were 9 years apart, and it worked out great. People thought they wouldn't be close, but boy were they wrong. Don't give up on the idea of more kids yet, you just might change your mind in a year or two.

Answer 8

There is nothing wrong with having 1 child. I have 1 child
and I refused to have more because my husband can barely afford to take care of us let alone more kids. Now I am
past the child bearing age and I do not have any regrets.
It is one thing to want many children but men seldom want
the daily responsibility that goes along with raising kids.
Stick to your guns. You are the one who has to bring
them into this world.

Answer 9

Do not have another child if you do not want one. You would resent your husband and possibly the child.
If your marriage is stressed it's probably wise not to have another child anyway.
Also, my favorite child rearing author, Penelope Leach states that siblings don't necessarily like each other or become friends and that firstborns never take to the new baby well and some never take to the new baby ever.
Go to counseling on your own because you sound stressed and I think it would be good for you to have someone to talk to.
Best Wishes!

Answer 10

I think it is not wrong at all. My husband and I only have one child for many reasons. Number one is we know we could never afford another child. We refuse to make our children suffer (i.e. no family vacations, college, etc.) or make the government pay for the children we could not afford. Second, one is perfect for us because like you, we want to vacation and hold down steady jobs. You are being very wise. Most people don't think or take the future in consideration before they have children.