My ex called me names and was abusive for so long. I start to think Im the name he called me.And that was everything.Im a good person.And have talked to counsler.But I cant shake the fact that others see me as what he called me.Even though it was around just us.He is a charmer and well liked.But now he is in jail people see him for what he is.An abusive ***.But why cant I shake the names he called me.They were hurtful and nasty.But I want to move on and Im scared becouse I think im not worthy.No matter how much counseling I get. I cant shake the way he treated me.Are all guys like that or did I get a lemon.And how can you tell.Are there some honest guys out there?
2006-12-26 14:41:52 · 11 answers · asked by cat eyes 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Believe me, he called you names to get control of you. He wanted to bring you down. Don't let him succeed. You're better than that. He's the *&^hole that went to jail, not you. Others don't see you like that. I know there are better guys out there. You (and I) have picked lemons--but there are good ones. Good luck to you.
2006-12-26 14:47:13 · answer #1 · answered by bellegurl17 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Abusive men are everywhere and they come in shapes and forms. When someone abuses you for a long time it is natural that you start believing what they are saying. Our brain remembers everything and what happens when you are feeling a particular way your brain remembers what was said and reenforces that same thing. What you need to do when you start having these thoughts is to thank your brain and tell it that you no longer need that and it needs to file it in the no need file. Then you need to start thinking good things about yourself to replace the file that has been stored.
I know this sounds silly but if you keep doing it it really does work.
Find a copy of The Power is Within by Louise. L. Hay and you will understand what i am saying.
I changed my life around so can you.
best of luck
2006-12-26 14:48:43 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its hard to forget the insults that an ex has said to you after a divorce.My ex wife still sends me vulgar text messages now after we have been divorced 6 years.I just delete them and try to forget she even contacted me.She was the one messing around so I know that she is wrong for sending these messages.You should do the same and try to forget these insults.Right now your feelings and your pride have been hurt so just give it some time to heal yourself.Live your life the best you can and treat people like you want to be treated.This way you will know that you are a better person than he made you out to be.Sure sounds like you got a bad lemon.Not all of us are like that.Sorry for your pain.
2006-12-26 14:56:11 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all you are not worthless. Not matter what you ex said. Don't listen to him. It's sad he called you names and it's sad he's an abusive person. I know it's hard to move on and not listen to those names but remeber that you are not worthless and stupid. You are smart and worth sometime. Just remeber that there's people out there who care and most of all if you ever need a true friend one that would never turn his back on you that's Jesus. He'd help you get through this. Another person is me if you ever need to talk you can always email me. Just know that You are not a loser or stupid or even worthless. There are some good guys still around but they are rare and there are honest guys around. You just have to not let this thing with your ex get to you and don't let it chase you away from love because there are guys out there who are sweet and would never treat you wrong like your ex. I've been called a lot of mean names like you in my life time and I always listened to them but now I know better. I know I'm not worthless and I know I'm not stupid. Please take my advice and don't let those names get to you. You are a worthy person and you aren't stupid. I know you don't know me but I am here if you need to talk. Don't do anything that you'll regret and don't give up on finding someone who would treat you right because you deserve happiness and you deserve to have someone who would never call you harsh names and you'll find him if you don't give up. I hope I helped you out.
2006-12-26 14:49:58 · answer #4 · answered by Irish Girl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, there are honest guys out there. But if you want to be able to find one... and no longer attract the abusive types... than you should continue to go to counseling to get over the experience you had with your ex... and potentially any childhood probs that led you to being with such an abusive man to begin with. Start by healing you... then worry about a partnership later.
Best wishes.
2006-12-26 14:45:41 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't feel you are healing enough, perhaps you are with the wrong counselor. There are others, maybe find one and switch to him/her. The best counselor won't always be the one that makes you feel most comfortable.
Check out Harville Hendrix's book KEEPING THE LOVE YOU FIND. He does a very good job explaining why we choose the people we do (a process which is basically subconscious). Make a commitment to solving this problem yourself, and look for practitioners who can help. They will help, not do it for you, you will do it yourself.
Good luck.
2006-12-26 14:54:54 · answer #6 · answered by Singinganddancing 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1st off, all guys don't act like that. but if you think they do, then you will only keep living in the same pattern. what seems to happen is if a person hears a message enough they start to believe it. that's why some hostages end up identifying with the captors. so now it appears that you need to re-program your thinking to what it needs to be: you have worth and deserve better. good luck.
2006-12-26 14:47:35 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
kick his fat hanky *** there i told you what to do or kill him/use voodoo and place the doll in a pickle jar it worked for me or write his name in oil in the sand then lite it on fire
2006-12-26 14:48:24 · answer #8 · answered by cheyenne g 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he could have just said that to make him feel better about his own nasty slf. Just forget about.:)
2006-12-26 14:45:07 · answer #9 · answered by hallie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just egnure , (s)hes is jeluse
2006-12-26 14:45:01 · answer #10 · answered by eman2011_19 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋