something happened 1 month ago with a family member...was it my fault?

Question

I remember...About 2 monthes ago...My step-dad and my step-brother...Were all getting drunk and I was too drunk to even walk so I went to go take a bath until I sobered up a little bit, and my step-dad was still getting drunk...But when I was about to take a bath I heard my step-brother coughing and I thought he was maybe puking and was choking on it so I quick went into his room to see if he was alright, and he freaked out and said please lay by me and I figured, it was my step-brother he always treats me like I'm his real blood sister and then when I was laying by him for a few minutes...he turned over and put his tongue in my mouth and I said,
"what are you doing?!? Are you drunk?!?" then I pushed him away and went to go get up and leave, bcuz it freaked me out and then he got on top of me and Fingered me me and started rubbing on my boobs, then I got up and went to the bathroom and tried cutting my wrists open bcuz I didn't wanna deal with what had just happened to me.

The reason i tried cutting my writsts open was bcuz I have been sexually assaulted before a few times and I was just beginging to forget about it and I didn't wanna live with it happening again..

and by the way i wasnt naked...i was about to get naked in the bathroom but b4 i got the chance i heard him coughing

I DID NOT WALK IN THERE NAKED

Answer 1

I'm assuming you were naked when you laid down next to him? Probably not a good judgement call. Probably not a good idea to get drunk amongst these people. Where was your mother during all this? I know when you've been sexually assaulted that you kinda freeze when another assault comes. It was not all your fault. But you do not need to be naked around any male family members. How old are you? Don't cut your wrists, precious. Get some counseling. You're worth it. ADDED...... OK, I thought you were naked because of some of the details you shared. How old are you?

Answer 2

Girlfriend, Listen up! by taken your life, you will also be taking everyone else's life that loves you, and they would have to live with that pain longer than you would! And another thing you are to good for the 2 little panti pushers that have go there balls for brains and no brains at all because they sh-t them out already! Get help and do it right now, the next time could be even worse and maybe someone even ending up dead! Go to the police, or a friend anybody but don't stay there, Put there little sweet as_es in prison cause soon as the boys there find out what there in for "Gauranteed they will show them 2 the same respect if you get my drift" then if they ever get out and were ever they live! everyone in the neighbor hood will be notified of what they have done proven fact of that, theres a gut just a couple of blocks from me that is in the same situation. Pervert! I was molested when I was only 6, tied to the bed and you can imagine the rest. I do have a boyfriend now and also a beautiful 11 year old daughter, so just think about that if theres a next time you have a date with the blades, Take a big look around you girlfriend and look hard and close " are you willing to give it all up for 2 scum baggs that don't care about nothing!) They already got a special place picked out for them! Straight to Hell and no stopps! but understand, if u dont get help,or tell someone "they may get another little girl or even a woman!" Your the Hero , be strong, we all need to stick together! Don't let them win. It does get a little easier as time goes. Behind you 100% all the way Baby I am now 38 and I love my life even when I'm having a bad day cause there gonna have a worse one when god has his judgement day on them! Sunnydays BE STRONG

Answer 3

I'm not entirely sure I believe your story. In the first place if you have been sexually assaulted "a few times before" you knew what he was doing. In the second place, you KNEW he was drunk, so why did you ask if he was. In the third place, I don't believe you mistook him for your step brother and even if you did, if you were already undressed for a bath, you'd have had NO business laying down with your step brother (or even a "blood brother" for that matter. In the fourth place, you don't say one thing about telling him "no" and you certainly knew what he was doing when he was "fingering" you.. I don't know how old you are and I don't know where your mother or step mother were during all this, but if you are a minor (and your letter reads like you are) why were you drinking with them?

IF things happened the way you say they did, I don't think it could be said that it was your FAULT, no. If you're underage it was child molesting, no matter who drank what. And if he's providing liquor to underage minors, that's another legal issue. But I do think you are not telling the whole truth here either. You need to go talk to somebody professional. And don't be putting yourself in harms way in the future. If you cut your wrists badly enough to have to be taken to a hospital as a suicide attempt, they would never have released you without a psychiatric exam, so there a lot of holes in your story.

Added - okay, so you weren't naked. Still a lot of holes in the story, hon.

Answer 4

This is thumper's wife. I know the shame you must feel, but believe me it's no where near your fault. I used to feel like if i flirted I owed it to guys to sleep with them. No matter what the situation was, it was not your fault. No one should ever have to go through what you've gone through. He was incredibly wrong, invasive, selfish, and despicable. You've been tortured and it will take a long time to get through this. The only thing you have is control over is yourself so be strong in your convictions, stand up for yourself, and press charges against the bastard. Think about what you would tell your daughter, your sister, or your friend if this happened to them. Contrary to what you might feel, you are so loved and so beautiful. Be strong-you will get through this. and pleeeeease do not hurt yourself. love laura

Answer 5

(I'm not a native speaker, I hope I use all the right words)

First of all: no, this situation certainly was NOT your fault!
You wanted to help your stepbrother and he, drunkenly, acted very stupid.

Appearantly no one in your family helped you with this, or else you wouldn't have to ask this question.

So my advice would be:
Please do get professional help.
Because of your bad past experiences you are traumatized.
This is very distressing for you and it will not go away by itself, on the contrary: every time something remotely similar happens to you, your trauma gets triggered again, like now, with your stepbrother.

I was in the same painfull position for many years and could free myself, with the help of a therapist.

Do get help with a qualified professional, you don't deserve to suffer so.

(Are you still going to school? Then you could maybe first talk to the school psychologist or a teacher you trust)

best wishes,

jeany

Answer 6

NO i dont think this was your fault he shouldnt have taken advantage of you, even thou you were drunk and so was he it still shouldnt have happened. this is actually quite a hard question as you felt like you had to slit your wrist, i think that you need councilling, not that there is anything wrong with you but if you cant deal with it by yourself then you really do need help. I have been through this myself and found it so hard to trust any1 for ages but now i understand that it wasnt my fault i can forgive but not forget.....

Answer 7

No it was not your fault.

Have you told your mom and your stepdad? Please do.

Also, if you can, you need to talk wth a professional counselor, either at your school or at church regarding the situation. Tell this person everything and go as often as you can.

You might want to start keeping a jounal or drawing / painting as an outlet for your emotions. Good luck sweetheart.

Answer 8

So you charge your mom and step dad with neglect (two counts-one for this and one for not getting you some therapy the first time)If you had therapy before, they teach you how to recognize situations before you're in so deep, so I know you never had any. Also providing alcohol to minors. Charge your step brother with molestation. If this has happened to you before, you know the only way to end it is to have the guilty people face some consequences.

Answer 9

NO !!!!!!!! it was not your fault he was in the wrong to do that to you. you did do the wright thing when you said no and pushed him away you were sending the right signals when but you were in the wrong when you cut yourself you should get a counselor or a friend or your mom and ask for help on how to deal with this

Answer 10

No. It wasn't your fault. You are being abused. You are a victim. You need help. Call a victims hot-line number, or speak with a trusted adult right away.