and she say's she is not going to tell her home a.a. group or her dad.because he would be disapointed.i'm her X boyfriend and have been sober 2yrs.
2006-12-26 14:18:48 · 20 answers · asked by ? 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If you get thrown from a horse, you must get back on and ride again.
2006-12-26 14:22:12 · answer #1 · answered by DrB 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My husb has a problem as well. He had been sober when we began dating and was for 5 years. When my sister died he went over the edge and it was bad.
We moved to Ohio from NY and he was good for a while then things got hard and there he was drinking again. There was nothing I could say to him to make him change. I just hugged him and cried. He went into treatment for detox himself after that. He knows he has a problem and she knows it too. It is a life thing. I don't have a glass of wine with dinner because of him, I don't keep alcohol in the house because of him. I do it out of respect and love not because it hurts me to do so.
Give her a hug and a shoulder to cry on and hopefully that will be enough. Maybe she had a relapse due to tragedy or something set her off. Talk to her, she needs a friend now.
2006-12-26 22:38:14 · answer #2 · answered by jayndee13 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am an alcoholic sober for 2 years in febuary. Some do relaps.I would just tell her that its ok she still has a chance but weather she tells her father or not she should tell aa. That way you all as a group help her work through this. Make shure she knows she has come to far to turn back now. But dont let this cause you to relaps. This is a one day at a time step.
2006-12-26 22:24:23 · answer #3 · answered by valerie s 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Offer to help her get back on the horse... go with her to AA. Tell her that she is NOT the first person to relapse.. and do for her what you would want her to do for you if you should relapse. Just because you've been C/S for 2 years doesn't mean that there isn't a situation down the road that will cause you to relapse. Tell her that mistakes are how we learn... and tell her how important she is to you... Offer her that unconditional love of a friend that says, "hey, let's get through this together... I still love you enough to care that you get back on track." If you expect perfection from her, she will fail. That is a fact. Tell her she is human and that she did it for 9 months... she can do it again.
2006-12-26 22:23:46 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does she have a sponsor? You have been sober for two years and you should know that "telling on yourself" is the only way to got over a slip. The AA home group may already know by the way she acts. The sad fact is she may not have reached her bottom; or drank her last drink........Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our traditions...this is very controversial to answer in this way...but take her to a meeting. ASAP
As for you read the BB's "The doctors opinion" and work the steps yourself....see you at a meeting bring honesty and slips up as a topic....see what happens.
2006-12-27 02:01:52 · answer #5 · answered by whitehairblueeyes 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You tell her that this is a lesson to be learned from and she is still a good person. Accidents happen it is how you recover from them. She has nothing to be ashamed of but she has to work harder now. Ask her why wouldn't she want to tell her AA group? That's what they are there for, to support her and to guide her when these things happen. It is never going to be easy and she must learn this. Tell her to take the support, after alll they have been through the same struggles as her, she is no different.
2006-12-26 22:29:54 · answer #6 · answered by Giselle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well find out why she relapse and try to find a trusted counselor or friend that can help her become sober again but in the end it will have to be her choice HUGS
2006-12-26 22:21:11 · answer #7 · answered by Angel Virgo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her that everyone has relapses. It's time to just start over. Remind her that AA is there to support her not make her feel worse about herself. Don't nag her or make her feel bad about herself. Offer support and encouragement. She can do this.
2006-12-26 22:22:37 · answer #8 · answered by lilmisstickletoo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her something you would have wanted to hear. you were once in her shoes.. you made it.. give her words of encouragement. its probably the best thing you can do. Everyone makes msitakes.. its a part of life. Just dont let her fall back down that road after making such a great comeback.
2006-12-26 22:22:14 · answer #9 · answered by k_whatev k 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i'd tell her not to give up. 9 months isn't long enough to worry about falling. if she has a sponsor she probably should tell them but the others don't matter. i've met too many in AA to be impressed by length of sobriety.
2006-12-26 22:25:25 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes tough love is the only way to really help a friend or someone you love. It is really tough I've had to do it before but maby when your friend realizes he/she is on their own and you will not be there anymore to catch them when they fall they maby will reconsider falling so much with no one there to catch them. Good luck I hope everything goes well for your friend and you
2006-12-26 22:25:46 · answer #11 · answered by lovewhereilive 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋