I've been with my g/f for about 3yrs. After 1yr of seeing each other i slept with a collegue at a xmas party. I told my girlfriend and had to pretty much beg her to not walk away from me there and then. Her nearly leaving made me realise how much i cared for her and i thought it wouldnt hurt this bad if i didnt love her.
A few months back my g/f admitted to me that she wasnt happy, didnt trust me, and didnt love me as much as she did. She actually packed her bags and went, only to return the same night. This confused the hell outta me.
Well, xmas party again this year, and this girl (engaged to be married) starts telling me she has a crush on me and next min we are kissing. She wanted to sleep with me and temptation was high, but i resisted.
My question is, if i really loved my g/f then i wouldnt cheat on her right? (no matter how drunk i was?)
Im still young and probably dont kno what love is but i thought i loved my g/f, but why would i cheat like this?
Your thoughts?
2006-12-26 13:24:14 · 32 answers · asked by piuyf 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You cheat because you are in need of strengthening your self-control and self-esteem. You also may be very afraid of and/or rejecting your role as a man to accept responsibility. It may be beneficial to discuss this problem with a licensed counselor or psychiatrist before you try a commitment with anyone else. Even you know that you are not desiring to commit your heart nor especially your body to one person which is purely your perogative but is highly unfair to other women who enter into a commitment expecting the same from you. And believe me nobody buys the 'drunk' excuse anymore that is a "tired" excuse. If you were that drunk -nobody worth having would want cha.
2006-12-26 13:36:22 · answer #1 · answered by MeHurdu 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love is a choice- It's about holding that person above all others. So don't get drunk if you know you are susceptible, and before you do anything think 5 times about how you felt last time she was about to leave you and you realised how much you wanted her to stay.
Dont be a p rick. If you have decided it's not working out don't cheat to end it. Being attracted to other people doesnt end when you are with someone else, but you have a choice as to how you react to it.
2006-12-26 13:31:54 · answer #2 · answered by teary chocolate 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The question should be if you really love yourself you would you cheat? Because each time you do you are sinning against your own body. Life isnt about sex and sex isnt about life. When misused, it's just dirty pleasure.
You need to learn the different between lust and love and make up your mind which one means the most to you. Most guys cheat because it's easy and free, that's all lust is. So do you want to be a dogg all your life or do you want to be a man of standards and be faithful to whom you care about? If you respect and value yourself and really love your girlfriend than come to terms with life's reality. Cheating doesnt just happen. It's planted in the mind (fisrt) and then fully arranged and planned out (second), so you have time to think about your actions and make a rational decision by weighing the consequences(third). Choose to go with your mind or your heart.(final)
Proverbs says that a man who doesnt control his sexual desire is a fool. No one should want every available butt that they see. We are humans, not animals! You can change if you really want to. It's just amtter of making up your mind.
2006-12-26 14:29:58 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think cheating is a matter of love at all. I don't think someone cheats because they do or don't love someone. I think it goes deeper than that...there is something missing from the relationship. I don't know what it is but I am sure you can figgure it out.
Oh and if she don't trust you (gee I wonder why) then it is over and you both need to move past the relationship (or lack there of).
2006-12-26 13:31:03 · answer #4 · answered by ~Just A Girl~ 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No you do not love your girlfriend. If you call that love then your crazy. When I was in a relationship my boyfriends cheated on me within the next ten months into the relationship and we were serious really serious. After that happened and we just broke up yesterday. Cause of the controlling issue. Trust Is very powerful and is a hard thing to get back . I hope she opens up her eyes and see's what a jerk you are.
2006-12-26 13:33:52 · answer #5 · answered by ladij15 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you have been through a lot. I guess you have look at everything and answer these questions:
1. Can you imagine spending the rest of your life with your g/f?
2. Do you have a desire to sleep with other women?
3. Do you have long term goals with your g/f?
4. What is most important to you now, your feelings or your g/f?
You already know that cheating on your g/f was wrong, and you made amends on that. Now you have to figure out if you are truly committed to her. Making out with other girls could be considered cheating in her eyes. And you can love someone and cheat on someone. What you need to figure out is if you respect her. If you do, then along with the answers to my questions, you'll know what to do. Good luck man.
2006-12-26 13:29:55 · answer #6 · answered by tannedknight45 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well if your still young it doesn't matter temptation will run through the older or young mind ,i guess it depends on how devoted you are to that person or you just like the attention other girls give you and you can't resist not having it,know a guy just like that and he is 35 yrs old and has cheated many times got back with his ex and still keepsm other girls on the string.All depends if your concious gets the best of you .
2006-12-26 13:29:52 · answer #7 · answered by michelle b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to work on your self esteem. Apparently you think you are not worthy of being true and loyal to. Because you've allowed this. She will keep on doing it. You are showing her over and over that she can do it and it will be just fine. And with your additional info it looks like there is a chance you are going to tell her once again that its ok and she can keep on being a ****. She doesnt respect you, doesnt think very much of you. Its those other guys shes getting butterflies for. She knows you need her more than she needs you, and thats why you let her do it. But its not the truth. You dont need her at all. But its just like those women that let a man beat her for 5 years,.....we can waste alot of time typing it all out to you, but your going to do whatever. You wont learn until YOU learn. And there ya have it.
2016-03-13 22:21:18 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't love her and you shouldn't waste your time nor hers. That being said, I don't know why you ask the question because if you didn't care about her feelings (when you cheated on her) then you certainly won't end the relationship simply to spare her feelings.
The "I'm young and don't know what love is" excuse doesn't cut it. Morals are at question.. not age.
2006-12-26 13:30:36 · answer #9 · answered by mosaic 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You just want it all. If you were in real love I doubt you'd cheat. After all, how can anyone who claims to be in love, deliberately chance hurting the one you love.
Sometimes I wish people who have no respect for their "loved ones" feelings get involved in an accident to leave them hideously deformed. That would give them a life lesson. Go do your cheating on your loved ones then.
2006-12-26 13:41:10 · answer #10 · answered by Joe Bloggs 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋