2006-12-26 13:14:50 · 34 answers · asked by michelle a 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Well my brother in law is getting married this summer and my husband just told me that we would be responsible for the cost of the tux.
I thought that the people paying for the wedding (in this case is brother) would be paying for everything. My husband thinks otherwise.
2006-12-26 13:21:54 · update #1
No matter who pays for it....what a waste of money. The way people put thousands upon thousands of dollars into a wedding is sick to me.
2006-12-26 14:24:16 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
The rule is that the bridal party pay for their own clothes, dresses or tuxedos. If the bride and groom want to alter that rule it is up to them to alert their party when the invitation is proffered to avoid confusion.
I'm a man and was in three wedding parties and didn't have a lot of money, certainly not as much as the rest of the wedding party, and twice the grooms (privately) offered to pay for my tux (only MY tux). I thought this was extremely thoughtful and considerate.
The rest is opinion: the bride should choose dresses the bridesmaids can wear again. The don't have to be identical for the sake of a wedding. Color uniformity can be enough.
Be realistic, if the dress is not going to be reusable again, it would be better to tack the dress cost onto the wedding bill. If you need to, have a smaller bridal party. You'll prevent resentment with your friends. The bride would then own the dresses and could save them or sell them if she wants. It would not be much of an increase in expense for the bride but might save a lot of money for the bridesmaid.
Another option is to ensure that the total cost of the dresses wouldn't be a lot of money so it would be closer to the cost of a tux: 100-200. The bride could choose dresses for the maids off the rack that would look good with the bridal gown.
If the bride is paying for the dresses, she'll have to pay for the tuxes, it's only fair.
2006-12-27 04:30:59 · answer #2 · answered by Breandan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, I had no idea that the bride and groom sometimes pay for these things. I'm glad to hear it because I think it's tremendously unfair that bridesmaids have to buy their dresses. I hope this is a new trend.
So far in every wedding I've been to or in or that my friends have been in*, the person wearing it has been responsible for the cost. Which is, I think, a HORRIBLE practice, but seems to be the norm.
* Somewhere in the neighborhood of 35 or 40 weddings.
2006-12-26 14:30:51 · answer #3 · answered by Amanda L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it really depends on formal the wedding is. In a really formal wedding the Brides family covers the Girls dresses, and the Grooms family the boys, but the bride and groom still have to buy there team(Groomsmen, and bridesmaids) a NICE gift. At somewhat formal wedding it's okay for the bride side and the grooms side to pay, but this covers the gift for the girls, the boys still need one but much less. But 90% of the weddings I help each person pays themselves. This is helped with David's Bridals Design your own dress thing for the girls, because the dress they buy they can use again if wanted.
So that is my answer, most girls buy there own. That or the Brides family.
2006-12-26 13:22:19 · answer #4 · answered by silvercelticriver 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on how much cash flow is available to whoever is paying for the wedding. It used to be that the parents of the bride paid for everything.....but times have changed...everything has become so much more expensive, and very often now the couple getting married are picking up many of the costs related to a wedding. It is very common practice now for the wedding party to pay for their own attire. When your brother in law asked you brother to stand up with him in his wedding, he should have also told him that he would need to pay for his tux rental. The nice thing about tuxes are...they can be rented so they are not all that expensive. My daughter will be in 3 weddings this next spring and has to buy 3 bridesmaids dresses for the occasions...and it is pricey as they each are running between $150... and $200.00. But she is honored to be asked to be part of her very good friends weddings and does not mind the expense. They in turn will one day be in her wedding and will also be buying their own dresses as well. I have been doing some calculations..and I figure that even with the wedding party purchasing and renting their own attire, we will be spending at minimum $7.000 when our daughter gets married.
2006-12-26 13:47:42 · answer #5 · answered by catywhumpass 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone is responsible for their own attire. Sometimes brides, grooms or their families pay for attire for the bridesmaids or groomsmen as a gift, but they are not obligated to do this and in accepting the position of groomsmen, the cost of the tux is something that a man would be responsible for himself unless told otherwise.
2006-12-26 23:37:50 · answer #6 · answered by wisegirl1204 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Attendants in the wedding party, (bridesmaids or groomsmen) are responsible for the cost of their wedding clothes, according to the rules of etiquette. If someone can't afford to pay for the costume, they shouldn't agree to the request to be an attendant. As well, they are traditionally responsible for their own travel arrangements to the wedding and a gift for the newlyweds.
Of course, there are many traditions that are no longer followed.
2006-12-26 13:46:58 · answer #7 · answered by ? 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your husband is correct, usually the men in the wedding party pay for their own tuxes as do bridesmaids. The only time the bride and groom pay for dresses and tuxes is if they are rich to begin with and offer or if they have a flower girl or ring bearer it is a courtesousy to pay for them.
2006-12-26 13:23:54 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
It depends. If you are the bride and you are a self centered oblivious idiot who wants her bridesmaids to wear some hideous dress that will cost them more than they can afford and they will NEVER be able to wear it again, then I say YOU pay for it.
If it's a fabulous dress that the bridesmaids can wear again and again AND they can really afford it (along with all the other crazy expenses that are involved with the "honor" of being a bridesmaid) then the bridesmaids can pay for them.
The tuxes are rented. The groomsmen rent their own tuxes and the groom rents his own unless he owns one. And the only reason he should own one is if he goes to LOTS of formal functions each year or he happens to be a waiter.
Wedding expenses are stupid.
The more expensive the wedding, the shorter the marriage.
Spend your money on a good book that tells you how to stay married for 50 years.
Try Judith Viorst's "Grown Up Marriage".
2006-12-26 13:22:48 · answer #9 · answered by Mimi Di 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
mostly it is the person wearing the dress or tux.
that is something you need to decide before asking the person to be in your wedding.
I have seen the parents pay for them if they are well off but mostly it my experience it is the wearer.
I have seen more than one bride tell the wedding party No gifts because the wearer were shelling out the money for the clothes and that was enough of a gift
2006-12-26 13:20:46 · answer #10 · answered by G L 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The wedding party pays for THEIR OWN attire. Since it's considered an honor to be asked to participate, bridesmaids pay for their dresses and accessories, and hair and make-up, groomsmen pay for their tuxedo rental, shoes etc. In addition, parents of the flower girl/ ring bearer pay for their child's attire. Boutonnieres and bouquets as well as jewelery to wear the day of the wedding are paid for and provided by the bride and/or groom.
2006-12-26 14:01:01 · answer #11 · answered by MelB 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋