Hi, i am a single mother of a 2yr old, My sons father passed away in a car accident the day my son was born, he was on his was 2 the hospital from work and some drunk 17yr old ran a redlight, killing my sons father instantly. My son has been asking where his daddy is, which i dnt know why, maybe cause the kids he plays wit at play group have their fathers come pick them up or something. what if anything can i tell him, he is far 2 young to know and understand why his daddy isnt here.
2006-12-26 12:35:44 · 35 answers · asked by Proud mumma 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I don't know if you believe in heaven but... My sons nana and poppy just recently passes away and he asks all sorts of questions and I tell him that they are in heaven looking down on us. I tell him that they are angels and they are in a beautiful place where there are parties and candy and all kinds of neat things. I am so so sorry for your loss.Good Luck.
2006-12-26 12:45:03 · answer #1 · answered by alybr 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First off .. my sincerest condolences. If you were married to or very close to the father, multiply by 30. Hopefully you will get many helpful answers from people who have been in a similar situation. Having never suffered through such a tragedy, I can only give you my general opinion for a long term approach - again without benefit of experience.
I think the most important thing is to start with the long term goal (over the next 5+ years) of your son understanding that his father loved him and was committed to him, and that he did not abandon him. Connection with a father is an critical part of a child's life, and hopefully you can connect him to his father
through pictures, stories, and keepsakes (especially one really good cool one). Making this connection is likely tough, but is important if you can do it. In addition to having a very good man as a stepfather throughout his life, a firm picture of his birth father is a critical foundation for a boy developing into a good man.
I am sure I didn't help your short term problem, and I pray that someone has good ideas for you. God bless you and your family.
2006-12-26 13:03:46 · answer #2 · answered by RealistProse 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tell him the truth. He will eventually understand and will know you have always told him the truth. Don't go into the details right now. Just tell him his Daddy wishes he could be with him. His Daddy loved him but Daddy died. Show him pictures and point and tell him Daddy. Consider getting a plastic picture frame and put a picture in it of his Daddy. Eventually he will understand and want to know more. I'm so sorry you have to go through this alone.
2006-12-26 14:07:39 · answer #3 · answered by Wicked Good 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would just tell him the truth that daddy died in a car accident. You can tell him all the details when he gets older but for now just let him know that daddy died from a car accident that wasn't his fault. And tell him that daddy loves him no matter what and that daddy wants him to be happy and to never forget what a great man his father was. Good luck.
2006-12-26 12:59:40 · answer #4 · answered by Katie Girl 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
That does bite the apple pretty big. Believe it or not 2 years isn't too young to tell your child what has happened but make sure to explain it in as simple terms as you can so he can understand. right now he is curious as to where his dad is. He is probably questioning everything around him. If you are a religous person tell him what you truly believe. He might be upset at first but eventually he will understand in his own way and will probably come up with something about where he is to help make him feel better. I do know that you DON'T want to lie to him because it will hurt him more in the long run. anyways that is my opinon and good luck to how you tell him.
2006-12-26 20:11:00 · answer #5 · answered by Shari D 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to hear about your loss, This is a question that will Plague us all for next several years especially now with the Iraqi War expanding. He is very young its best to say daddy is not here , until he is older and can understand the concept of death which is a concept they will see at an early age but not fully understand until later. If you are a religious person you may be able to use you faith/beliefs to explain it. For now it is best to say that he is not here. I truly wish luck.
2006-12-26 12:42:46 · answer #6 · answered by TON T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm very sorry to hear your unfortunate circumstances. The first thing is maybe you should ask a trained therapist instead of the Yahoo Answer site. But since you asked, I would say that if you think the truth is too difficult for him to understand at his age - you may want to simply say that there are many kinds of families - and that his family has just a Mommy and a son and that's fine. When he's older you can tell him the truth.
Good luck.
2006-12-26 12:46:38 · answer #7 · answered by TooMuchTV 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This little boy needs to know that while his daddy can't be with him that he loved him very much but God needed him home to help with important work. As he gets older he can learn more of the details but for now it's best to keep your answer where he can comprehend some but still he won't totally know what your talking about until he is older but knowing his daddy is in heaven with God helping with important work should help him some.
2006-12-27 08:52:42 · answer #8 · answered by Georgia Preacher 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he's not too young to understand, you just have to phrase it in a way a little one woulf get it. If her were mine I would tell him some kids have daddy's that are right there, and sometimes, Daddy can't be with you. When he gets a little older, you can add a little more. Always give just what your son asks. Don't try to overexplain anything. He'll ask for it when he's ready to. Right now telling him his daddy just can't be there might be enough. I'm so sorry. My thoughts are with you.
2006-12-26 13:30:20 · answer #9 · answered by foghnanross 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is a tough question, first off, my condolence to you and your family.
Second, children are very curious indeed, I would explain to him about heaven and God and that route. I don't know what belief you have, I'm not at all religious but that's a safe way to go. Without actually coming out and telling him the details. Let him know that Dad is in a happy place and is always with him, and will always make sure he was safe. As he gets older and starts to wonder, then you can go ahead and let him know what happened for he will be old enough to understand.
Good luck and God bless :-)
2006-12-26 12:41:10 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋